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My husband and I been together for almost 3 years been married 6 months he is in the navy he recieves money for our housing we have a daughter together and currently pregnant we have two different places and im only working part time he does not help with any bills and gives me 300 a month which is not that much considering I have a one year old who needs diapers clothes shoes childcare and other baby things so not that much money left for food I can't afford my place anymore I don't have any family that can help me out and been thinking about going to a shelter I am so hurt and stressed cuz I helped him when ever he was down with money he still continues to act as if he is single and seems like me and my kids doesn't matter I really need help No negative comments please
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 8:27 AM
Replies (21-27):
by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 2:15 AM

I don't know your branch of service, but in the Navy, you can call the CMC. Command Master Chief of your husband's command. They will get involved and do something about him. It will get ugly but you can tell him that you have resources. I would tell him "so what is your plans, me and the kids with you or a call to the right persons for me and the wrong for you?? If you're gonna get a divorce and take him to court, go to the command first. You and the kids are his dependants and he's responsible for you guys. What about your medical? You are not paying for that all on your own, are you? There is something called DEERS enrollment. Your daughter and you should be on this form. My husband said it is for all branches. Do you have a dependant id? Just not enough info from you on the subject.

by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 4:36 AM

 Baby girl, something is extremely wrong here! He sounds like hes just paying child support for your child and dont want to be around you and the kids.  You seem real smart and have already seen what he is doing so go with that.... you are not wrong about how he is doing you....It doesnt take a rocket scientist to see that, So 1st and formost you have to think about You and the babies.......If he hasnt done it yet hes probably not going to till hes forced to, and If you have to force him well....You can do bad all by yourself mama so since you have a roof over your head, dont give it up/ Go see what programs (assistance) they have in you city, and take care of your kids. If you have a job, keep it do good get promoted and get off of can do are a woman.....Im praying for you and the kids, and God Bless

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 4:47 AM
I don't really have any good advice, but I do wish you the best. You deserve more love and respect than he is giving you!
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by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 6:02 AM

If you've been together almost 3 years and even after being married nothing has changed, then it's not going to change. I don't understand why someone wouldn't want to live with their family unless they were doing shady stuff. Being a near-deadbeat is already shady, I would seriously chalk this up to a loss and move on.

Quoting usmclife58:

Move on. File for divorce, custody, and child support.

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 10:10 AM

Do you live in the same city? If you do, where does he sleep at night? His place or yours? That will tell you a lot right there. 

If you are in a different city, I can see why he is waiting for his lease to be up. Is he blowing his paycheck, or is he really giving you all he can after his rent, bills, and actually living expenses? Have you guys made a budget to see where the money is going? 

When DH and I first moved in together, he had to continue paying on his apartment until his lease was up. He stayed every night with me though.

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
What is rank? Is he in the fleet or at a school? Not being mean but u sound young... So here's what Im going to assume and answer with. He is below the rank of E5, which means he is committing housing fraud. Using your marriage as a way to live off base and receive BAH. I agree with going and seeing the CMC. If you don't get the appropriate response than you need to go talk to the ombudsman. He/She will be able to get you the help you need. They work for the Commanding Officer. You need to understand that while this is very serious and will be on his permanent record.... You are a mother and your kids come first. You are in the right and he is not. Plus you need to think about the long run. They will set it up where they doc his pay and you will get assistance. Your children will have full medical and dental insurance. You should be enrolled in Deers and have a dependant ID. If you don't do this and get screwed over... What's to stop him from doing this to some other poor girl.
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by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:12 PM

You need to talk to him. Tell him that he either moves you in with him, starts helping you out with bills or he kisses you and the kiddos good bye. He isn't fulfilling his duty as a husband if he isn't helping to provide and support you and your children. If its just a matter of getting a bigger house, if you can, call the housing office where he is and start the arrangements yourself. With his knowledge of course. They will need him to sign some papers.

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