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Military Families Military Families

Deployment conversations

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 11:37 AM
  • 36 Replies
2 moms liked this

I hear people say this all the time and I want to know how normal it is.  When your SO or child is deployed, do you keep the conversations all nicey nice and don't tell them how much you miss them?


I don't. When my dh is deployed, he likes to know what is going on at home, good, bad and ugly.  He doesn't want me to be burdened alone and he knows that it isn't good for me to keep it bottled up.  He also wants to know realistically what the kids and I are going through. He is a strong enough person to continue doing his job well over there and can handle knowing what is going on at home.

by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 11:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sberry0509
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 11:49 AM
While my DH was deployed, our daughter was only 2 so unfortunately I couldn't talk about what she did at school or what her and her friends had been up to. So that only left me to talk about how much I missed him lol. He was okay with it most of the tine, but it did get old. I also didn't want to ask "So how was your day?" Every time I spoke to him because I know it wasn't always the best. We mostly talked about how my day at work was, or what we wanted to do when he came back from deployment. That was probably the best conversations! We planned a trip to TN, and when he came back we went on a little vacation, it was great to rekindle without the little one!
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JerseyAirGurl
by Ada on Aug. 21, 2012 at 11:50 AM
I was reading an article about this not too long ago. I tell my husband everything that is going on.... My mother in law told me I shouldn't do that our first deployment because he doesn't need to be stressed, but my husband rather be in the loop than surprised later. Plus I vent to him and he does the same. I do keep a journal of my feelings and when he is home we look through it... Its an emotional purge and way to remind ourselves that we got through it. It works for us.
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AbriCrazy
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Dh and I have no secrets. Whether we are together or apart we always discuss what's going on, good and bad.
It helps us think clearer when we know that the other is upfront and truthful.I don't like smoke blown up my ass and neither does he.

A deployment shouldn't change the dynamic of your relationship or how you interact with your spouse.
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SierraLynn
by Just Me on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:28 PM

 I tell him everything, and he tells me what he can. Mostly just platoon drama and what not. He doesn't want to be left out of anything and wants to know everything that's going on.

vintage-misha
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:33 PM

We tell each other everything. 

We even fight just to keep it spicy. ;) 

cocoroo
by Coco on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:52 PM

We got in our first "fight" this deployment the other night.  It upset me so bad that I couldn't sleep.  I'm such a dork.  It was over something really stupid.  He ordered supplements online and I don't think he needs them, LOL.

Quoting vintage-misha:

We tell each other everything. 

We even fight just to keep it spicy. ;) 


ambermarie2006
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:53 PM
I tell him everything. He likes to know what's going on at home.
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vintage-misha
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:56 PM
We just had our first one on Friday. He hasn't been online since. I'm totally heartbroken we fought anyway since it was the first one and I know how busy he is and how little he's actually not on missions. I just want to talk to him and I can't. I'm over this deployment all together.

Quoting cocoroo:

We got in our first "fight" this deployment the other night.  It upset me so bad that I couldn't sleep.  I'm such a dork.  It was over something really stupid.  He ordered supplements online and I don't think he needs them, LOL.

Quoting vintage-misha:

We tell each other everything. 

We even fight just to keep it spicy. ;) 


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mlogsdon
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:56 PM
We tell each other everything. Well- he doesn't tell me everything, he shares the bad stuff after he's home over time. But he wants to know everything about what's going on here, he feels more connected that way. I've tried keeping it easy breezy and he got mad.
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asaffell
by Ashley on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:57 PM

I told him everything. Usually it was after something crappy happened and I had time to calm down, so he didn't get stressed.

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