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Military Families Military Families

JUST WONDERING...

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 3:05 AM
  • 15 Replies

Do you ever get used to this Military life?Ive only been a Military Wife for 8months now but i still cant seem to get the hang of it,i have good days where i enjoy missing him but on other days like today i just feel so lonely,angry,sad IDK.

How do you ladies cope?how do your kids cope?My son is still young to understand whats going on,so what happens when his older,how do i explain what Daddy does?Wont he resent him for not always being around or will he be okay with it all?

by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 3:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cocoroo
by Coco on Aug. 29, 2012 at 3:18 AM
My kids are pretty much used to it and just deal. It is all they know. It was never a problem until we moved my oldest son's freshman year of HS. He hated where we moved and moved in with his father who isn't military.

I really don't mind the military. It is his job and it have afforded us many opportunities. Deployments get old, but I can't change it. I have days I want to scream and cry and sometimes I do it.
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BevLuc
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 3:46 AM


Quoting cocoroo:

My kids are pretty much used to it and just deal. It is all they know. It was never a problem until we moved my oldest son's freshman year of HS. He hated where we moved and moved in with his father who isn't military.

I really don't mind the military. It is his job and it have afforded us many opportunities. Deployments get old, but I can't change it. I have days I want to scream and cry and sometimes I do it.

I cant scream or cry,i bottle things up and i just pretend it doesn't hurt or i dont miss him,i just cant allow myself to go through the emotions.I want to but its just not me...Do you ever think about maybe one day people knocking at your door and telling you your Hubby is no more?I think of such things and i cant imagine my life without him,i hate his Job,its risky and i know they trained well to do it but i cant help but wonder,i cant help but worry about his safety,his health.And deployment is coming soon i just want to run away and not see him,i feel like maybe it will hurt less if i distance myself from him and not be there to say goodbye..:-(

USAFamily
by Melissa on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:29 AM

The first year (for us) was tough for me. It can be a big adjustment. We pcsed from Idaho (my homestate) to Mississippi 3 months after we got marrierd. It can be hard being that far from your normal support system. I coped by getting a job and continued that at our next duty station.

It's been toughest for me now more than ever. We are at a remote, and when they say remote they mean it! I don't speak the language and there are about 40 other American spouses total, where a lot of them keep to themselves. I get involved as much as I can on base -volunteering a lot- and just try to keep connected to the other people here as miuch as possible. I am also trying desperately to learn Spanish lol!

This has been the toughest move for my kids too- really it's their first move as they were too young to remember the last. We moved in the middle of the school year in Kindergarten- so for my oldest that ws a tough transition, and the teacher is so different from the last that it took a lot of getting used to.

My 4yo still asks when we are going home (to our last duty station). She doesnt quite understand the moving process. But, overall, she has done well. We didn't have any set backs with potty training or anything.

I think the way to make it through the military life (for me) is to be confident in your abilities as a wife and mom, and to be brave! Don't be afraid to get out, talk to people (even if you trip through a different language like me) and explore all the adventures that this life has brought you! Hang in there- and don't let the bad days rule you ((HUGS))

USAFamily
by Melissa on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:33 AM

Sorry for all the typos! Sheesh!

anchorgurl
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:34 AM

I can't say I've gotten "use to" the life, but I do enjoy it and actually wish I had met him sooner.  I work, so I stay busy, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him because I do.  When he comes home, we're kind of like two 18 year olds with out parents out of town, and that's pretty cool ;)

His children grew up in this lifestyle so that is all they know.  They spend most of their time with their Mom and have said that they miss being part of a military family.  I think it's how you present to them that Dad is gone and your reactions to his absences. 

Hope today is a better day!

TheCrooners
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:52 AM
The biggest key to military life is being able to adjust quickly. I don't try to sugarcoat how sucky it is at times, especially with my kids. We just moved overseas, almost a year and we have good and bad days. When the homesickness hits I allow myself to wallow in it for the day and then get up the next day and keep busy and focus on the positives. There are a lot more positives than negatives. Especially considering that our time here is temporary so I'm going to make the most of this opportunity.

My husband's job is very demanding and he's gone before the sun rises and long after it has set. Even when he is at home he is constantly on call. It's annoying at times but I have a life outside of revolving around him. If my happiness depended on him I'd be miserable. We make the most out of the time we do have together and have to be content with that. Thankfully I am able to stay home with my sons, homeschool them and further my own education. Other than wanting more time with my husband and missing my family Stateside I don't have too much to complain about.
BevLuc
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 5:53 AM


Quoting USAFamily:

The first year (for us) was tough for me. It can be a big adjustment. We pcsed from Idaho (my homestate) to Mississippi 3 months after we got marrierd. It can be hard being that far from your normal support system. I coped by getting a job and continued that at our next duty station.

It's been toughest for me now more than ever. We are at a remote, and when they say remote they mean it! I don't speak the language and there are about 40 other American spouses total, where a lot of them keep to themselves. I get involved as much as I can on base -volunteering a lot- and just try to keep connected to the other people here as miuch as possible. I am also trying desperately to learn Spanish lol!

This has been the toughest move for my kids too- really it's their first move as they were too young to remember the last. We moved in the middle of the school year in Kindergarten- so for my oldest that ws a tough transition, and the teacher is so different from the last that it took a lot of getting used to.

My 4yo still asks when we are going home (to our last duty station). She doesnt quite understand the moving process. But, overall, she has done well. We didn't have any set backs with potty training or anything.

I think the way to make it through the military life (for me) is to be confident in your abilities as a wife and mom, and to be brave! Don't be afraid to get out, talk to people (even if you trip through a different language like me) and explore all the adventures that this life has brought you! Hang in there- and don't let the bad days rule you ((HUGS))

Ncooooo thank you for the wise words,its just that sometimes i don't think I'm strong enough for this,never thought my life would turn out like this.But il try be strong for my family and especially our son.Hope il have all the right answers when he starts asking questions...

BevLuc
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 5:53 AM


Quoting USAFamily:

Sorry for all the typos! Sheesh!


LOL its okay we all have those,dont sweat it i understood every word.Mwaaaaaa

BevLuc
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 5:56 AM


Quoting TheCrooners:

The biggest key to military life is being able to adjust quickly. I don't try to sugarcoat how sucky it is at times, especially with my kids. We just moved overseas, almost a year and we have good and bad days. When the homesickness hits I allow myself to wallow in it for the day and then get up the next day and keep busy and focus on the positives. There are a lot more positives than negatives. Especially considering that our time here is temporary so I'm going to make the most of this opportunity.

My husband's job is very demanding and he's gone before the sun rises and long after it has set. Even when he is at home he is constantly on call. It's annoying at times but I have a life outside of revolving around him. If my happiness depended on him I'd be miserable. We make the most out of the time we do have together and have to be content with that. Thankfully I am able to stay home with my sons, homeschool them and further my own education. Other than wanting more time with my husband and missing my family Stateside I don't have too much to complain about.

Yeah i guess when you keep busy and have a life of your own its better,it doesnt make it easier though.Some days everything just sets in and it all becomes too much for me to handle...Thanks for the advice though:-)

3kidsnadog
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 11:34 AM

Hi BevLuc...I don't have a lot of advice for you, except to say I'm new to this, too.   We have only faced short separations for training so far (6 weeks at a time), and I'm just trying hard to learn all the Acronyms that go with Army life!!  LOL.  There are definitely a lot of adjustments and benefits to military life.  I hope it will get easier and better for you as time goes on and you find your new "groove".

Through my job at Focus on the Family, I've found some articles online that have been helpful to our family as we prepare for military life (especially as it relates to keeping our marriage strong through all the changes/adjustments).  Maybe it would be helpful for you, too?  Anyway, if you want to check it out, you can find it here: http://bit.ly/PzL3Ca

Hope it helps to know you're not alone!  Hugs to you!!

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