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Military Families Military Families

How do I make it stop?!?

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:48 AM
  • 26 Replies
Hey ladies! I also posted this in the navy wives group but I posted it here to maximize my results lol.

I'm sure this gets old but I'm on day two of my husbands first "work up" before going on actual deployment. I'm fine during the day and everything for the most part but when I get into bed I just get so sad. Even now I have tears in my eyes from just missing him.

Anyone have any tips on how to not go to sleep every single night with tears?

I really do keep busy during the day.

Also do you guys have any tips on not being so nervous being home alone? We don't have kids yet, and of course we just got to this command so I can't invite a friend over to stay with me, 'cause they're non-existent at this point. We have 3 shot guns and I keep one right next to the bed and were in a good neighborhood but I still get so nervous so any suggestions are appreciated.

Thanks (:
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sailorwifenmom
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:59 AM
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It does get easier - it just takes time. Also - get involved in something, whether at the command or in the community you live in or your church if you attend or something. It helps to stay busy.

Also, I would strongly encourage you to take a COMPASS class. They are a lot of help with a lot of great info!
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adoptivemomof1
by Mel on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I got ADT for nights hubby isn't home and it makes me feel safer with the little one at night...it connects right to the police department if anything happens...it's also connected to the fire department...and it is surprisingly affordable...

adoptivemomof1
by Mel on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:55 AM

You could also get a dog...good company and will make you feel more secure...

beerebelly
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

 Slip into a comfy pair of pjs. Find a tv series on netflix you haven't seen before and start watching an episode each night. You will come to look foward to that time alone each night enjoying the show. I recommend sons of anarchy or breaking bad : )

angieo39
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this
8 years...lots of long and short deployments here....some days I think I am used to it and I do better...some days I hate it. DH navy and some is his fault. He has been houme 9 days and we aren't doing well.
I want DH home full time
Kids want thier dadfull time
Try going back to school...the gym...
Proud of you and all military wives
We serve our country also
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m.smitty.xo
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:25 PM
1 mom liked this

This! I enjoy my quiet time when hubby is gone on his trips. I also recommend getting a nice piece of candy (carmel, fudge, whatever) and enjoy it ALL BY YOURSELF! No sharing!!! :)

Quoting beerebelly:

 Slip into a comfy pair of pjs. Find a tv series on netflix you haven't seen before and start watching an episode each night. You will come to look foward to that time alone each night enjoying the show. I recommend sons of anarchy or breaking bad : )


JerseyAirGurl
by Ada on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I got my little dog when my husband was deployed... he only barks when there are legit noises so he reassured me at nights. I usually fell asleep with the TV on. I called my parents and sister a lot as well and vice versa. I always made sure everything was locked as well.

salamandersmom
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

This is good advice.  someone else suggested getting a dog.  If you do that, make sure hubby is ok with this, as a dog is a big committment and it's unfair to get rid of the dog if hubby doesn't like him or the dog doesn't like hubby when he comes  home. 

Quoting sailorwifenmom:

It does get easier - it just takes time. Also - get involved in something, whether at the command or in the community you live in or your church if you attend or something. It helps to stay busy.

Also, I would strongly encourage you to take a COMPASS class. They are a lot of help with a lot of great info!


LuvMyBoy08
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Start reading a new book, maybe read a couple chapters each night. It not only helps your mind relax, but passes time too.

Like a previous post had said start watching a new tv series, you'll start to look forward to watching it every night.

It does get easier, my DH is currently on his 3rd deployment. Most importantly, it's ok to cry.....it doesn't mean your weak. Even the strongest military wife cries every now and then. You'll start to find a routine at night.
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4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:38 PM
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Honestly, no matter what anyone says (and, it's all good advice) this is just something you have to go through in your own way. The crying is part of it, and the loneliness, too. But, they pass and you will survive and be stronger at the end. But, no one knows what will be right for her until she's gone through it.

Good luck.
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