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Military Families Military Families

Some advice Please!!! New to the military world!!!

Posted by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 5:55 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hey everyone, im here to get some perspectives from experienced military wives. I recently got married a couple months ago and my husband is active duty army. I am a little bit experienced with the military lifestyle since my dad and brother and some of my friends are in the army as well but its different hearing how things are than actually experiencing it. Now that we got everything situated with D.E.E.R.S and all the other paperwork that was needed i am starting to see what really goes on. BTW me and my new hubby just moved in together shortly after getting married so i never really noticed how his life really is. Now that we live together everything is different. He just got transferred to work for Division as a M-ATV night instructor so he is home all day and work at nights. He is not an army social person. His friends are the same as well they try to stay as far away from the base as possible and dont attend anything military related. I go on post to get groceries or to visit my dad at his job but nothing else. My husband tells me that he just doesnt like going he would go too but i feel like i dont want to attend something if he really doesnt want to go. I have 3 kids and i would like to attend events on posts or balls or things for the kids just so i can get to know some other military wives and moms. I would like to know if you guys feel like it is a big deal or not to go to "on-post" functions? Are they helpful for the family? What can i benefit from going?

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 5:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmclife58
by Nikki on Oct. 18, 2012 at 5:59 PM
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I go to things that I want to go to, whether my husband goes or not. You need to have a life outside of your husband, too. So go to things if you there is something going on that you want to try. And he will go or not. 

Jociebebe11
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 6:02 PM

What kind of functions do you attend?

usmclife58
by Nikki on Oct. 18, 2012 at 6:29 PM

Until recently, I was very active in the squadron. I pretty much went to everything they sponsored - bowling, movies, holiday parties, family days... I go to all of the ESC events (well, I try to at least make an appearance). I have done a couple of the base sponsored events, though not too many because I do not like crowds, and I don't have a lot of patience for large groups of people. 

Quoting Jociebebe11:

What kind of functions do you attend?


Mrs.Greco
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:55 PM

We live on post so I live and breathe military. Not everyone is that way though. It sounds like you guys live close to family and that's great. My family lives on the other side of the country so the other wives and the military community are my rock while my husband is away. It's nice to have a support system that can relate to you on every level.
If I were you, I would go to whatever events on post that I wanted to, whether my husband went or not.

amonkeymom
by Member on Oct. 19, 2012 at 2:33 PM

Welcome!

I agree with this.  If you want to go, go. 

Quoting usmclife58:

I go to things that I want to go to, whether my husband goes or not. You need to have a life outside of your husband, too. So go to things if you there is something going on that you want to try. And he will go or not. 


angieo39
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 3:45 PM
We are married but we didnt buy or own each other. When we lived in Va Beach. I did lots in base and DH did also when he was home because we liked being a couple.
DH was also very tight with other team members and most of us wives very tight.
Since your newly wed. I feel establish your individuality early in marriage. Most in military have deployments and stronger you are now...better when away
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Jociebebe11
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 7:34 PM
thanks u guys that really helped
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anchorgurl
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2012 at 6:33 AM

This.  I came to the military late (I'm wife #2) and DH goes to what he feels "obligated" to attend, but there are also some things that I have gone to because it helps me to understand the military thing/lifestyle.  But I do understand his feelings-there are lots of work-related things that I don't want to go to, either, so I really pick and choose from my side and DH would rather go and meet those people.  Go figure ;)

Quoting usmclife58:

I go to things that I want to go to, whether my husband goes or not. You need to have a life outside of your husband, too. So go to things if you there is something going on that you want to try. And he will go or not. 


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 20, 2012 at 7:42 AM

We do our own things to be honest.  We aren't associated with much of the "military" stuff...just a personal choice I suppose:)  Good luck!

Jociebebe11
by on Oct. 20, 2012 at 1:15 PM
yea i agree with you im also wife#2 so it is hard for me to attend things that can be different in our marriage than his past marraige


Quoting Jociebebe11:

thanks u guys that really helped

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