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Ok, I have your attention.



I realize there are couples with different lifestyles or views where porn is acceptable and comfortable in the marriage.



Not me.

My husband has been addicted to it for a while and all of the deployments do NOT help.

I realize some men or women can look and still want their SO. Not mine. He has become desensitized to sex wih me. He still gets a hard on and all of that good stuff but the passion is lacking. He loves me, does not physically cheat on me, is a good provider and dad, but there is nothing lately. The past two years have been void of passion. Only French kiss when we are doing it. Never compliments me. I would think he had a lover but he never leaves tje house, but when he comes home from work he tunes out. I can't remember the last time we had a talk about anything other than bills or the kids. I try to be fun with him bit he would rather watch tv. Always.

We signed up for counselig and he has found excuses. We have to move to another state in 6 months and I don't want the same life. Of course I don't want to be a single mom either. I love staying home with the girls. I am just torn. I want a real marriage. I want someone that will look me in the face and ask me how my day was. :(
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 28, 2012 at 8:52 PM
Replies (31-35):
Mya62412
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I know you were talking to op but I could use what ever advice you have as well.

Quoting RebeccaforPR:

I think I could help you out with your problem...inbox me privately please. I kind of specialize in this :)

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
RebeccaforPR
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Feel free to private message me. My man and I certainly have no problems in our bedroom :) ...or kitchen, bathroom, living room....

steviechick
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:25 AM

I found Playboy magazines many years ago that my ex hid from me.  A  huge stack of them were hidden in the spare bedroom underneath the matress.  I left them on the kitchen table and approached my ex when he got home from work.  He simply told me then that he liked to look at sex magazines because it was healthy and I needed to get over my prudeness.  I told him I didn't like him looking at naked women and men having sex.  I told him it was disgusting.  If he needed to look at naked women and more than likely masterbate then there is something terribly wrong with him.  He shrugged his shoulders and told me I was over exaggerating.  I threw the magazines away the same day.  FF to 15 years later and found him surfing the internet and found many porn sites were in his 'Favorites' section.  I decided to ignore it.  I also found Playboy magazines stuffed behind some other magazines in a basket file.  I threw them away.   FF to three years ago and I find out that my ex was having a three year affair with a co-worker. He also fathered two kids with her out of wedlock.  When I cleared out his desk drawer I found two opened condom wrappers shoved down into a hanging file folder with a Playboy magazine right behind it.  When I removed the credenza from the closet I found 20 opened condom wrappers shoved in the corner.  My ex has a serious addiction to porn.  And, in the process decided to cheat on me with another woman on top of that he's a father again at his age (53) to a 2 and one year old.  Had I been able to force my ex into marriage counseling I think I could have saved my marriage.  My DD spotted her father staring at 20 something year old at a gas station.  A total stranger.  He was looking at her like a pervert.  Can you imagine your DD spotting her own father doing this in broad daylight out in public?  Now the tramp that was having an affair with my ex (now married to him) has to deal with my ex's sexual addiction.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I've read that a lot of couples go through these phases. I have been with my DH for 4 years and if its not him being distant it has in the past been me. Mine was due to pain from child birth and during the pregnancy as well but I completly understand how you feel although there wasn't porn my husband did have a relationship through texting with another person. I found out before it went any further but I would let him know exactly how you feel. Turn the tv off and find a way to make him listen!!! I had to do that. I am a pretty ballsy woman though and I am a fighter which I believe can be very important in this life. I also feared lossing him because I too am a stay at home mom and leaving him would mean major complications. We ended up getting some counseling and it helped but what has really helped is what we would discuss afterwards and that I would openly tell him what I was missing from the relationship even though he still doesn't let me in on that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this
That makes me so sad. I am happy you aren't involved with him anymore. I can honestly see how it escalates.


Quoting steviechick:

I found Playboy magazines many years ago that my ex hid from me.  A  huge stack of them were hidden in the spare bedroom underneath the matress.  I left them on the kitchen table and approached my ex when he got home from work.  He simply told me then that he liked to look at sex magazines because it was healthy and I needed to get over my prudeness.  I told him I didn't like him looking at naked women and men having sex.  I told him it was disgusting.  If he needed to look at naked women and more than likely masterbate then there is something terribly wrong with him.  He shrugged his shoulders and told me I was over exaggerating.  I threw the magazines away the same day.  FF to 15 years later and found him surfing the internet and found many porn sites were in his 'Favorites' section.  I decided to ignore it.  I also found Playboy magazines stuffed behind some other magazines in a basket file.  I threw them away.   FF to three years ago and I find out that my ex was having a three year affair with a co-worker. He also fathered two kids with her out of wedlock.  When I cleared out his desk drawer I found two opened condom wrappers shoved down into a hanging file folder with a Playboy magazine right behind it.  When I removed the credenza from the closet I found 20 opened condom wrappers shoved in the corner.  My ex has a serious addiction to porn.  And, in the process decided to cheat on me with another woman on top of that he's a father again at his age (53) to a 2 and one year old.  Had I been able to force my ex into marriage counseling I think I could have saved my marriage.  My DD spotted her father staring at 20 something year old at a gas station.  A total stranger.  He was looking at her like a pervert.  Can you imagine your DD spotting her own father doing this in broad daylight out in public?  Now the tramp that was having an affair with my ex (now married to him) has to deal with my ex's sexual addiction.


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