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Hi everyone! I'm a new member and need some advice :)

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I've never been a part of a group before and i'm honestly excited I joined! everyone seems so sweet by what i've read so far. A little background on me- I'm 23 years old and live in cocoa florida. I have a two year old son named Connor whom i had with my ex boyfriend. I am now married to a wonderful wonderful Air Force man. He is stationed in Hickam, HI and we recently just got married. He left for his station about a week ago. My son and I plan on moving there as well in a few months.

 

This is where I need advice from anyone who has been in this position or knows what to do. My sons father is on the birth certificate and he is barely in my sons life. My sons dad recently moved out of florida to another state. I've alerted him about me getting married and connor and i moving to hawaii. In order for my son and I to move to be with my husband, does my sons dad need to "approve" of it? Will the Air Force notify him as well? does he have to sign off on anything to say its okay or anything of that sort? He's not the nicest of people to me and I believe the reason my son and I would not be able to move would be because of him. I've heard mixed advice saying yes i can go and others saying no that he has to sign off on something. it makes me nervous to even think about not being able to be with my husband because of my ex. breaks my heart! My ex now tries to send connor things and try to talk a little more now that i've told him this information about us maybe leaving, kinda ironic right? I see right through it. but anyways, trying to figure things out. My ex wont sign his rights up or anything like that so hopefully things work out and somebody can help me! thank you all so much!

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:04 PM
Replies (11-20):
ArmyMechsWife
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:23 PM
Might not need a passport, but she is going out of country..So she would need the fathers written permission.


Quoting Mom2Rylin:

Oh forgot about Hawaii being OCONUS. But I was told that only if a passport was required, then u would need a signed and notarized letter of permission from him. But I didn't think Hawaii required a passport even if it is OCONUS.


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Mom2Rylin
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:30 PM

When you go out of the country, you need a passport. To get a passport she would need the ex's permission. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but my brother went to Hawaii and his wife did not need permission from her ex because she said they aren't leaving the country even though Hawaii is OCONUS. So I would look into that to just make sure. 

Mom2Rylin
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:42 PM

I forgot to mention, the military may consider Hawaii to be an overseas location, but aside from the military, it is part of the country and therefore you are not leaving the country. Anything dealing with your ex, would not be considered a military issue. So basically you are just taking your child to another state. 

Shalyn_y
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Ok.  i was a single mom too before i married my husband who is in the navy.  He was stationed in hawaii as well.  I never heard from my sons birth father, he never met my son.  When me and my husband got married me and my son moved to hawaii with him.  You do not need a passport to move to hawaii, its not considered an overseas move.  Therefore you dont need the fathers permission, if you were going to a new country you would need a passport and you would need his sign off on the passport.  So i wouldnt worry about that.  Also, your son can be covered under your husband healthcare because he would be considered a step child.  which really helps.  I really hope this helps and takes away some worries for you.  I understand there is a lot of info going your way saying this and that.   I have been there girl.  Let me know if you have any more questions!!

pittawadda
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:25 PM
Um since when is Hawaii out of Country? It's still the usa


Quoting ArmyMechsWife:

Might not need a passport, but she is going out of country..So she would need the fathers written permission.




Quoting Mom2Rylin:

Oh forgot about Hawaii being OCONUS. But I was told that only if a passport was required, then u would need a signed and notarized letter of permission from him. But I didn't think Hawaii required a passport even if it is OCONUS.



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Apollos82
by Cassie on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:29 PM
Right? lol

Quoting pittawadda:

Um since when is Hawaii out of Country? It's still the usa




Quoting ArmyMechsWife:

Might not need a passport, but she is going out of country..So she would need the fathers written permission.






Quoting Mom2Rylin:

Oh forgot about Hawaii being OCONUS. But I was told that only if a passport was required, then u would need a signed and notarized letter of permission from him. But I didn't think Hawaii required a passport even if it is OCONUS.



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pittawadda
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:32 PM
CONUS= contiguous us (48 states that are together)
OCONUS= outside 48

It doesn't mean out of country really.
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barrelracer1699
by Chel on Nov. 23, 2012 at 4:05 AM
I would consult a lawyer. Everyones experience is different. No straight answer reading everyones statement. Better safe than sorry.
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Mrs.Greco
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:50 PM

I went through the same thing when I moved here. If there is a custody order in place, or if your ex has any rights to your son at all, then you need to go through the court system to get the move approved by a judge. If you leave the state or maybe even county without taking the proper steps, there could be legal ramifications for you. I think that it would greatly benefit you to retain a lawyer. The cost is worth it.

My ex finally gave in and signed an agreement because in our jurisdiction it is mandatory for parties disagreeing over a move to undergo a move away evaluation. That evaluation was going to cost us each $750 so he opted out. I hope everything works out for you and I do think that you should at least consult with a lawyer before attempting to go through the process on your own. If you have any questions for me, you can message me :)

Good luck!

xoxo Meli
lizzielouaf
by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 2:57 PM

OP there are a lot of laws navigating a custodial parent moving residences and they all vary from state to state. You should really contact a lawyer because depending on the relationship you have with the birth father he could file legal actions against you for relocating with your son. It also depends on your legal arrangements. Since he is on the birth certificate, even if he weren't the bio dad, he has legal rights. Just cover your bases. I'm an attorney licensed in the states of Colorado and Indiana and the laws even between the two states are COMPLETELY different.

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