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Unaccompanied Tours *EDIT*

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:16 AM
  • 58 Replies
Have any of you ever had your husband go on a tour unaccompanied? I'm not talking about an IA necessarily, just in a tour alone for a couple of years. How did it work out for you? If you haven't, would you ever consider letting your husband transfer alone if it didn't make fiscal sense for you to move together?



ETA: This isn't an overseas deployment, or recruiting, this is a 3 year instructor billet in a place we were previously stationed. I'm not a stay at home, nor would I ever home school, so a good educational system is very important to me. I have an outstanding job that took me quite a while to find that has helped us to afford a very comfortable lifestyle. However when we moved here 4 years ago, it took me 6 months and a lot of begging and pleading to even get my foot in the door. During that 6 months we completely depleted any savings and ruined ourselves financially. If I have to leave here, I basically find myself back in that same boat. Even if I can find a job, which isn't looking good in this economy, I would take a massive pay cut and to be honest the cost of living from the west coast to the Midwest really equals out in the end. The rent difference for a home of the same square footage as we have here is within $100. Food and gas are cheaper there, but my electric bill here has never been over $150 and there it was $400-$500 in the summer because the air conditioner runs constantly. Here I make $27 an hour and work for a fantastic private group if doctors. There I would make $18 doing the same job and as I pointed out, the cost of living really evens out. We already sunk ourselves financially once, I don't want to do it again.
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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:33 AM

Ask me next year and I'll tell you how things worked out for us. ;-) 

Armymom134
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:38 AM

 DH is doing a unaccompanied tour in S. Korea, he has been there 21 months. How has it worked out...well lets just say I will NEVER do this again, next time we will go with. It has put tremendous stress on me, and my children to be away from DH so long, it has even landed my 6 year old in counseling.

What do you mean by fiscal sense? Do you mean financial sense?

Let me just say 2 years is a very long time, I wouldn't recommend it.

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:40 AM
I'm seriously considering not going with my husband when he is supposed to transfer in August. Not because I don't love him and want to be with him, but because I don't think it makes a lick of sense financially for me to leave my job and for us to move our daughter from our outstanding school system to an over crowded inner city school in a state with one of the lowest educational ranks in the nation.

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Ask me next year and I'll tell you how things worked out for us. ;-) 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Here's a bump, I hope I never have to do that, deployment for just a year was hard enough.
ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:41 AM
We only have one kiddo who will be 10.

Quoting Armymom134:

 DH is doing a unaccompanied tour in S. Korea, he has been there 21 months. How has it worked out...well lets just say I will NEVER do this again, next time we will go with. It has put tremendous stress on me, and my children to be away from DH so long, it has even landed my 6 year old in counseling.


What do you mean by fiscal sense? Do you mean financial sense?


Let me just say 2 years is a very long time, I wouldn't recommend it.

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chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:49 AM

The school system and your job are serious considerations. How would things work out financially? DH thinks about it like this - the separation will be tough, sure, but it will help us meet our goals for our future faster. 

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I'm seriously considering not going with my husband when he is supposed to transfer in August. Not because I don't love him and want to be with him, but because I don't think it makes a lick of sense financially for me to leave my job and for us to move our daughter from our outstanding school system to an over crowded inner city school in a state with one of the lowest educational ranks in the nation.

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Ask me next year and I'll tell you how things worked out for us. ;-) 


Armymom134
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:49 AM

 

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

We only have one kiddo who will be 10.

Quoting Armymom134:

 DH is doing a unaccompanied tour in S. Korea, he has been there 21 months. How has it worked out...well lets just say I will NEVER do this again, next time we will go with. It has put tremendous stress on me, and my children to be away from DH so long, it has even landed my 6 year old in counseling.


What do you mean by fiscal sense? Do you mean financial sense?


Let me just say 2 years is a very long time, I wouldn't recommend it.

 Well that has been my experience with this, we have 4 kids ages 6, 4, 2, and 1. I am stressed out beyond belief a lot because I really don't get a break, I am sure with one child its not that bad. Like I said, 2 years is a long time, DH volunteered to stay for an extra year and I wish he wouldn't have, I could have handled a year, but not 2.

And with him being over there we have an extra internet and phone bill, its about 160 dollars for that a month, plus groceries for DH because he refuses to eat at the chow halls there, and any equipment he needs, and hygene or cleaning supplies and hair cuts. He gets about 750 dollars a month to live on and really after he gets everything he needs it leaves him no money to go out and do things. So you have to decide if that is something you can manage also.

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:51 AM
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It makes plenty of sense to do everything you can to keep the family together.  When your kid is 30/40 - he's not going to remember his education in grade school as much as he will remember all of those special family moments you make together. 

God forbid his father dies...  Is money THAT important to you?

Emotional stability trumps money every damn day of the year.  To me - staying behind when you can be together makes not a bit of sense.  You married and made a family.  Families stay together and take on whatever challenges life throws at you - together.

Jobs?  They come and go.  Education?  Supplement at home. 

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I'm seriously considering not going with my husband when he is supposed to transfer in August. Not because I don't love him and want to be with him, but because I don't think it makes a lick of sense financially for me to leave my job and for us to move our daughter from our outstanding school system to an over crowded inner city school in a state with one of the lowest educational ranks in the nation.

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Ask me next year and I'll tell you how things worked out for us. ;-) 



jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:52 AM

*she...  Sorry - just saw your child was a daughter...

Armymom134
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:52 AM

 To be more clear is this actually a hardship tour you are talking about, those are usually overseas not stateside, or is this a permanent change of station or is it recruiting duty?

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