please help!!! need new base!

[mylove19d]

My husband and I have been stuck living in separate states for almost two years. By the end of his next deployment it will be three. We had to leave our tradoc unit so my husband could deploy. A month after we got to ft hood he was on orders so I went back home to ohio. I have lupus and needed the help from our families to take care of our son. My husband's 9 month deployment turned into a two month deployment when his units mission ended faster than anticipated. I couldn't come home and not long after he was fenced in for another deployment. We want to live together and continue our life but were struggling. Fort Hood is hard for me to live at and my lupus isnt progressed enough for me to enroll in EFMP yet. Not to mention the cost. While my husband was in Iraq he reenlisted and asked to be moved but they told him he couldn't leave hood. He reenlisted anyway because he wants to retire. But he's worried if we stay at hood he won't be able to take care of me because of how fast they deploy and how far from home we are. We have tried compassionate reassignment reenlistment and now he's trying to reclass. Does anyone have any advice? My husband loves the army and I don't want him to have to give it up for me but if he says if they still tell him we can't move before his contract ends he won't be reenlisting. Please help!

[adoptivemomof1]

I have SLE and my mom is retired so she comes to stay when I  need help- which has only happened once when I needed surgery but she plans to move in when my hubby has to deploy...I am so sorry that you are struggling with this and hope that things work out for all of you soon...

[chrlstoncharmed]

Compassionate reassignment is an option but you have to meet the criteria to qualify and EFMP is mandatory.

[barrelracer1699]

He could try to contact branch, but wether that would work or not I don't know. My husband was in a fenced in unit in Missouri and the only way out was to not reenlist before a deployment. They moved him to another company and in that 4 days he got offered a new post. Sorry I am not a lot of help, those fenced in units are hard to get out of.

[mylove19d]

Thank you! You actually did help.

Quoting barrelracer1699:

He could try to contact branch, but wether that would work or not I don't know. My husband was in a fenced in unit in Missouri and the only way out was to not reenlist before a deployment. They moved him to another company and in that 4 days he got offered a new post. Sorry I am not a lot of help, those fenced in units are hard to get out of.

[mylove19d]

Thank you! I am so glad you have that support. I know its a blessing.

Quoting adoptivemomof1:

I have SLE and my mom is retired so she comes to stay when I  need help- which has only happened once when I needed surgery but she plans to move in when my hubby has to deploy...I am so sorry that you are struggling with this and hope that things work out for all of you soon...

[mylove19d]

They way I have to apply for EFMP is very specific and lupus is not. My rhuematologist has been able to find a positive ANA and elevated DsDNA and the SM antibody through blood work which is only found in 20% of lupus patients. I have had the ANA since I was 16 and my kindneys stopped filtering properly but there is no lupus test. Its based on criteria and for a doctor to prove it she must be able to say the factors are defiantly relatable to lupus and and no way could be something else. This becomes difficult because of all the symptoms and the many other diseases it could represent. My rhuematologist believes I have SLE which is a specific type of lupus. It effects mostly internal things. and my kindney functions tests have fluctuated over the years and I have had no protien for almost four years that my doctor can not determine indefinitely if it was lupus related or medically induced from some of my prescriptions. I just recently started getting tested for the gastro aspect but basically with lupus you just have to wait till your sick enough to get a definitive diagnosis. My dr calls is developing SLE and says it could be 8 years before I get the evidence she needs to be able to document it. In medicine you can't just prove it can be something you have to prove it can't be everything else too and lupus is considered one of the hardest diseases to do so. I have another family member with discoid lupus which is lupus of the skin.

Quoting Soniam301:

I was wondering the same. I know how dibilitating it can be, and that you can have "episodes" where you can be extremely sick, but If those were a regular occurrence I'm not understanding why your are not on efmp.



Unless your drs are not filing the papers properly, which could be the problem if they are not familiar with how to deal with military paperwork.

Quoting Anonymous:

If your lupus hasn't progressed enough to be on EFMP then why do you have to go 'home' for help?

[mylove19d]

Sorry let me retype some of that my phone froze....basically my lupus is slow but I'm 23 and already developing arthritis but this could be lupus arthritis, RA or chrons induced arthritis. A postive ANA could also mean RA. Which my mom is a carrier for. I will have months of excessive vomiting and rapid weight loss. This last time was 20lbs. This time was so bad they sent me to a nutrionalist and gastrointerologist to see if I could have chrons or any other gastro problem or if this was the lupus. This will be my second endoscopy and my second colonoscopy. My first where when I was 17. Without another sever kidney shutdown with incontinence like last time, my kidneys still can not be ruled out as having a pill induced factor and my joint pain could also be fibromyalgia. It could be fibromyalgia caused by lupus or just lupus or just fibro but hard to determine. After 7 years I am finally on the lupus meds which have made a huge difference. But my doc says until I get the sores rashes another kidney issue or something else she can't give the army the specifics they want. We can't do compassionate reassignament because its even harder to prove you have a disease to them then EFMP. I meet with someone in our area who was on one to see how they did it and he said his dad was in stage 4 cancer and they army made him provide stacks of noterized documents explaining the size placment and exact location of each tumor and he wasnt allowed to move till the final month of the doctors three month life expectancy. And the move is somewhat temporary. You have to return to your unit after a year max unless you can get something worked out. The sgt I spoke to said the recruiter station he was placed at was requesting him for a permanent position. So I was just wondering if anyone knows any tips really. He's an excellent soldier and wants to find the best option. He is considering the current reclass options but was also looking into WO Or green to gold, he doesn't really know who to talk to there is lots of shortages where he's at so people are spread thin I know he said retention was out and didn't know if they were able to find a fill in he's doing his job and the person above hims job because there's no one to do it. He's having a lot of time finding the time and even the people to talk to to get the info on these things. Or is there a better way to get a new base with a reenlistment then just asking? I really just need some advice were trying to do what's best but not knowing much about the army in the first place is kind of what got us here. And I'm a little confused because I feel like I was more or less getting confronted. I just needed help and instead I feel interrogated. Aren't we all in the same team? Isn't this what this is for?

Quoting Anonymous:

If your lupus hasn't progressed enough to be on EFMP then why do you have to go 'home' for help?

[Soniam301]

I have a couple friends on efmp due to lupus and a family member that suffers from it so I'm very familiar with the disease.

If it was me, I'd move to were my husband is and work with drs familiar with how efmp works because they would know the proper wording to get you on the right track since that's what they do on a daily basis.

I would not let it keep me from my husband. I just couldn't. I would be proactive in my health care where I was and get an efmp established. I know it's a PITA to do, but if it's what needs to be done.

[usmclife58]

I think you need a new doctor.

[mylove19d]

I have been feeling alone and hopeless and I reached out to a group of women I thought felt the same with the same struggles as myself. Instead I was met with bitterness and judgment. Tricare determines my care and I battle them constantly. My husband is suffering because he can't help me and he sees what I go through. I know I am not the only one who hates tricares system or is struggling with similar issues. We as military wives have an important role. We are the backbone. We must stick together and support each other. We have to make an example for young wives. What are we doing attacking each other? Was that really necessary? Could it not have been easier nicer and more supportive to offer advice or leave it alone since you know nothing of my life? Or was being judgmental easier for you? I appreciate whatever you felt you were trying to do but please stop replying.

Quoting Soniam301:

I have a couple friends on efmp due to lupus and a family member that suffers from it so I'm very familiar with the disease.



If it was me, I'd move to were my husband is and work with drs familiar with how efmp works because they would know the proper wording to get you on the right track since that's what they do on a daily basis.



I would not let it keep me from my husband. I just couldn't. I would be proactive in my health care where I was and get an efmp established. I know it's a PITA to do, but if it's what needs to be done.