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Military Families Military Families

My DH left yesterday...

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:34 AM
  • 10 Replies
I need advice on how to make it through this. He just left yesterday for basic and I talked to him last at 12:10 this morning and I don't know when I will get to talk to him again. Our 5 year old is so confused and I am not sure what to say since I don't know what to do myself. This is the first time we have been apart in 6 years. I am probably just over reacting since I am pregnant also so I think I am just a little over emotional.
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
barrelracer1699
by Chel on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:39 AM

Keep yourself busy, don't sit around and wait for the phone to ring. Make sure your little one knows it is ok to be sad and express their feelings. Hold yourself together around your child, if they see you upset it will upset them more. When my husband reclassed I was still working full time, I helped with the 4H horse kids, and I went out and did stuff with my friends. Pick up a new hobby.

Templeoftrust
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:49 AM
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Hi i am going thru the same, Dh left Monday, stood in a hotel and waited for his bus and flight to osut. I am basically keeping myself busy with chores and lots of hobbies. Mostly i am keeping up with family and friends to get thru the 14 week separation. Good luck and if you need a friend to talk to you can message me anytime. :)

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cocoroo
by Coco on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:55 AM
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Stay bust, be strong and learn to be independent. I was 5 months pregnant, had a 2.5 yo and a 6 yo when my dh went to basic. Plus, 5 months before him joining, we had moved 700 miles from any and all family. I made a lot of friends at my church, went to playgroups, took the kids to the mall, the park, etc.
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hellomilla
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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My husband just graduated BCT last week. I understand where you're coming from. It is hard at first but you learn to put your big girl panties on and suck it up for your kid and get out there and do things. Lol At first I sat around the house in my pajamas and didnt do anything and got miserable. That did nothing at all. I finally snapped out of it and started getting out more, I even went grocery shopping more/bought less at a time just to have trips out of the house. It helps! Write letters everyday! That helps too. I didn't hear from my husband for the first two weeks. Even then it was about a letter a week. Goodluck and stay strong!
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klbetts
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:49 AM
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My DH is in AIT. We have a6 year old, 3 year old, and a 2 year old. We tried to explain that Daddy was going away to learn how to be a soldier. And that training would take his whole day for a long time but that he would write and call when he had a break in training. I sat down with my 6year old and helped her write daddy a letter and helped her mail it separately from my letters. Have your 5 year old draw daddy pictures or if possible write him letters. Get a binder with clear sleeves in it and put all of the pictures in the binder as a graduation gift. My kids now look at people in uniform and ask if that person is at the Army like daddy!
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mommy2be77
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:40 AM
My hubby left to basic last year around this time. And I had a 2 year old and I was pregnant. I had no idea when I would talk to him either. I just kept busy. And it helped I started writing him letter since the day he left. It seemed to help me get how I was feeling down on paper by writing it to him. I didn't hear from him much he prob only called 6 times when most other company's could call every weekend but that was because his company had ppl who messed it up for everyone else I did get letters from him too. It will go by so fast too! If he isn't infantry it will go by way faster. Just keep busy. As for your dd. I told my dd that daddy was working and he goes to school and I would show her on a map where we were and where daddy was.
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narumi74
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:34 AM

I think us military moms need to stick together for support and comfort! How long is he going for?! and i actually will know how you fill next week on Thursday. MY DH will be deploying overseas for a year. It is 1st for us too after being together for 3 yrs. Luckily, I have a job interview on Thursday and i plan to volunteer at kids school, community events and even go to church. I know we can get through this together! And yes it could be your hormones talking too..lol

IAmE7
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:05 PM
There is a great book for you & your child to read, called The Invisible String. Basically explains how they are still loved even if that one parent isn't there.

I know that this period can be rough but register for a COMPASS class or MilitaryOneSource.com (they've got free books &dvds and I think classes for adults and kids how to make it through this time.

Good luck but you're gonna be fine. If you don't mind my asking where are you (you can private message that info -protect yourself). I'm in San Diego, also have a 5 year old and am due in a few weeks.

I completely get the emotions your going through.
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kayla4507
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:08 PM

Ive never been through this, so I cant say Im much help but heres a bump! 

oh, when my cousin went off to Afganastan for 9 months, he told his son he had to go to work for a while to fight dragons and bad guys. His son is four and so proud of his dragon fighting daddy. 

M.E.Langlands
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:21 PM
Focus on activities to do with your 5 year old at home or by going out. Talk about daddy so your child begins to accept he is away but still present. Appreciate your friends/family and develop a conversation between your 5 year old and unborn child as a form of bonding. Skype with your partner?
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