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Military Families Military Families

Making it day to day... How?

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:00 PM
  • 46 Replies

My DH left for BCT yesterday. I waited with him till he boarded the plane and then I talked with him for a while when he had his layover and then a brief quick phone call when he landed at his destination. We have never been apart since we started dating so this is all new to me and him. I am taking this really hard! I went back to work today after taking a week off to spend time with him and I cannot focus on my work at all. I really just want to go home crawl in bed and cry! I haven't really eaten anything in the last two days, my mind wanders all the time and all I can think about is him being gone. I tell myself it isn't forever and we just have to make it the first 10 weeks and then we can talk while he is at AIT. He texted me last night right before he shut his phone off. I just miss him so much! I am having the hardest time with this. I will write him daily and I am keeping a journal. I know they say the time will fly and I have support and prayers from a lot of people but I feel like they are missing it. Everyone keeps saying look at the bright side and look at the positive side and think of the benefits and you can do it. Right now I feel like I can't do it! Like I am ALL alone! I just wish someone could step into my shoes and feel exactly like I am and then talk to me. My DH and I are best friends and we do everything together. We are one of those weird couples that never get sick of each other and can be together 24/7 and be just fine with it and be madly in love still. I just don't know what to do with myself. After work when I go home he won't be there. I won't get to hear his voice on the phone... Nothing! I don't know how to describe exactly how I feel. I have heard conflicting stories about BCT. A SGT told him that during reception that he will be able to have his phone and night and able to talk to us and text and whatever. He has also been told that he gets a phone call with us every Sunday while he is there, but other than that it is letters. Someone told us that it is no communication besides letters. Others have told us that they had their phones the whole time. IDK what to believe and I guess we will find out. I hate this! HELP!

 ***Not looking for the blunt comments or the you just do it comments etc. I know I will get through it I am just looking for support***

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, "you just do it" is support. It's what you do.

I wouldn't buy anything he was told before hand either, he won't necessarily get to call every Sunday. I was allowed 2 phone calls during boot camp, and even though we were told it was 10 weeks, we were there for 12.  Time moves weirdly in boot camp, they don't necessarily count the day you arrive as day one. Our day one didn't start for almost a week after we got there.

I don't think there is any texting during any phase of boot camp either. They confiscate everything you have. 

Find hobbies. 

SierraLynn
by Just Me on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 You DO just got to do it though. Everyone's experience with BCT is different. When I went through, I was only allowed to call my parents 3 times in 9 weeks. My Dh said he was only able to call once. It all varies.

Sitting and dwelling on him being gone will not help you, it will make things worse for you.  Im sure you knew once he signed his contract that you would need to learn to be more independent and be able to live without him. Now is the time to start working on that. You say you have a job, thats good. focus on that and your children. Being strong for them is a must. If they see you freak out it will make it so much harder for them.

 

SierraLynn
by Just Me on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:37 PM

 Not necessarily anymore. It depends on the command and drill sgts but some get their phones on Sundays to text and call. Its gotten all kinds of soft and fluffy. Smh.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Well, "you just do it" is support. It's what you do.

I wouldn't buy anything he was told before hand either, he won't necessarily get to call every Sunday. I was allowed 2 phone calls during boot camp, and even though we were told it was 10 weeks, we were there for 12.  Time moves weirdly in boot camp, they don't necessarily count the day you arrive as day one. Our day one didn't start for almost a week after we got there.

I don't think there is any texting during any phase of boot camp either. They confiscate everything you have. 

Find hobbies. 

 

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ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:48 PM

I guess times really have changed. When I went through boot camp though, nearly no one even had cell phones though, LOL, and the ones that did had those gigantic ones bigger than cordless house phones.

Quoting SierraLynn:

 Not necessarily anymore. It depends on the command and drill sgts but some get their phones on Sundays to text and call. Its gotten all kinds of soft and fluffy. Smh.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Well, "you just do it" is support. It's what you do.

I wouldn't buy anything he was told before hand either, he won't necessarily get to call every Sunday. I was allowed 2 phone calls during boot camp, and even though we were told it was 10 weeks, we were there for 12.  Time moves weirdly in boot camp, they don't necessarily count the day you arrive as day one. Our day one didn't start for almost a week after we got there.

I don't think there is any texting during any phase of boot camp either. They confiscate everything you have. 

Find hobbies. 

 


ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this

And OP, seriously, you are going to have to become accustomed to being alone. It's a huge part of life as a military wife. You'll be spending months or possibly a year or more at a time alone from now on. It's ok to be sad for a little while, but you have to put your chin up and deal with it. This is your new life, and it can only be what you make of it.

lizzielouaf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:03 PM

My son recently graduated BMT and he got a total of 4 calls and not one single one of those calls came in on a Sunday, the day he was told he would get the free time to call.  It just is what it is.

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:07 PM
9 moms liked this

Are you not your own person?  You need to find your own feet and stand on them.  And while being joined at the hip and still be madly in love is fine - this isn't the career path where that's going to happen.  Life does not stop because he's in basic or deployed or on a remote for a year.

Learn now.  And I don't know what you're talking about as far as "support"...  We HAVE been there, we ARE there...  This life style isn't all rainbows and cake walks.  It's a lot of work.  It's being mommy and daddy, it's being the mechanic, the maintenance man, the lawn boy, the chef, the housekeeper, the driver - EVERYTHING while he's gone and you do it.  You get through it because there isn't much else.

No man wants to come home to a puddle of a wife who can't handle taking care of herself or anything else (not eating?) while he's gone.  He needs a strong woman to stand by him while he worries about his job - where lives are on the line.

slrsgirl
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:48 PM

It is really tough but you will start to learn how to make the best of it and get into your own groove while he is gone. My husband is in the Navy. We have been spoiled for the last 3 years while he has been on shore duty but he is about to go back to a ship and will be gone all the time like he was the 5 years before shore duty. When he was in Japan for his first duty station it was a few months before I spoke to him and it was 11 months before I got to see him. The life of a military wife is hard but you need to be strong for your kids.

MsBlueBelle
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:57 PM

 Hugs, I will keep you in my prayers.  When I went to basic, after the first week, we had 20 minutes free time each day.  It was always at a strange times, so I woke people up if I called them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:23 PM

 Wave Just want to say  Welcome

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