Just about everything you need to know about...
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It is frowned upon and depending on the service member's command can cost the member time, money or rank.
Questions the commander will consider when the problem lands on his lap:
-is he married?
-is the other person married?
-do they work together?
-how long was this going on?
-is it causing drama at work?
-is it causing some other commander a headache?
-does the spouse know?
-is he a good soldier?
-is he always in trouble?
-how will his loss of rank affect the unit?
A soldier cheating on his spouse with a random stranger from town isn't the same as a soldier sleeping with an other soldier's wife. Nor is a soldier sleeping with a girl from town nobody has heard about the same as a coworker finding out his wife's friends husband (his coworker) is cheating and his morale and how he works is affected by "the thing nobody is allowed to talk about".
There is more to it that punishing a cheating soldier. A commander has to consider the outcomes of what should really concern him which is how the unit is affected.
His desision isn't always based on what he believes in ether. Just because the commander chose not to punish the soldier doesn't mean he doesn't care about the situation or that he agrees with it nor is he on the same boat.
So is adultery punishable? Yes. But the commander will chose who to punish and how.
He might not approve the recommendation for promotion when the time comes or tell the 1SG to make sure that soldier is always on the shit list (detail, shitty CQ, might not get sent to a school he had his eye on or the denial of other general favorable action).
Just sharing a few thoughts that were brought up while a few of us discussed situations that are affecting our unit during a Batallion meeting.
Here is the REAL issue behind that. Although it is within the Commanders legal authority to punish a Soldier for cheating, the Soldier has rights. Before the Commander can impose any kind of punishment on the Soldier for cheating, he must be able to prove that the allegations are true. Some spouses are completely spiteful and make allegations that are completely untrue, which makes it difficult for the Commander to make decisions off of verbal accusations. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, if he/she really wants to go to the lengths to damage a Soldiers career because they're being spiteful, the accuser is going to have to PROVE it. Pictures, emails, etc.
Also, food for thought: If you really want to go to the lengths to get a Soldier in trouble for cheating, keep in mind as part of the Soldiers NJP, they can lose rank, and pay.
Even sharing a hotel room isn't enough proof. You have to have seen them together, like walking into your home and called the MPs style. I've only ever seen 1 soldier in 20 years actually lose rank.
Wife comes home from work, he's in their bed with one of the PX ladies and she's like "Get this woman out of my house!" And he got all stupid and tells her "I can not do that" and she called the MPs on him. The stupid woman was still there when they got there! They took him in his boxers and a robe. I swear that man made E4 twice.
Also women don't think that hurting his career can also hurt what they will receive in alimony or child support.
If there will be a divorce and I'm a sahm why would I want him to make less money? The bills will all be the same (he will probably still be stuck with a mortgage payment, a cable contract, loans, car payments...) and what will be left over from his paycheck will be less.
Quoting Anonymous:Here is the REAL issue behind that. Although it is within the Commanders legal authority to punish a Soldier for cheating, the Soldier has rights. Before the Commander can impose any kind of punishment on the Soldier for cheating, he must be able to prove that the allegations are true. Some spouses are completely spiteful and make allegations that are completely untrue, which makes it difficult for the Commander to make decisions off of verbal accusations. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, if he/she really wants to go to the lengths to damage a Soldiers career because they're being spiteful, the accuser is going to have to PROVE it. Pictures, emails, etc.
Also, food for thought: If you really want to go to the lengths to get a Soldier in trouble for cheating, keep in mind as part of the Soldiers NJP, they can lose rank, and pay.
They lose it all the time here. It's published in the base paper once a month as far as what judgements were passed. Drunk driving, spice possession and adultery are the top three infractions. Reduction in rank and pay is the usual punishment.
To answer why would someone want to hurt his career is pretty simple. Adultery is a hurtful violation against not just the marriage, but against the partner. No amount of money is going to make it better. The injured spouse wants the other to hurt. If it means a little less money - so be it. It would be worth it for him to have to go work being a lessor man (woman) than what he was before this happened.
Quoting Anonymous:
Correct. People seem to think "oh he cheated!" "Tell his command!"
Even sharing a hotel room isn't enough proof. You have to have seen them together, like walking into your home and called the MPs style. I've only ever seen 1 soldier in 20 years actually lose rank.
Wife comes home from work, he's in their bed with one of the PX ladies and she's like "Get this woman out of my house!" And he got all stupid and tells her "I can not do that" and she called the MPs on him. The stupid woman was still there when they got there! They took him in his boxers and a robe. I swear that man made E4 twice.
Also women don't think that hurting his career can also hurt what they will receive in alimony or child support.
If there will be a divorce and I'm a sahm why would I want him to make less money? The bills will all be the same (he will probably still be stuck with a mortgage payment, a cable contract, loans, car payments...) and what will be left over from his paycheck will be less.
Quoting Anonymous:Here is the REAL issue behind that. Although it is within the Commanders legal authority to punish a Soldier for cheating, the Soldier has rights. Before the Commander can impose any kind of punishment on the Soldier for cheating, he must be able to prove that the allegations are true. Some spouses are completely spiteful and make allegations that are completely untrue, which makes it difficult for the Commander to make decisions off of verbal accusations. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, if he/she really wants to go to the lengths to damage a Soldiers career because they're being spiteful, the accuser is going to have to PROVE it. Pictures, emails, etc.
Also, food for thought: If you really want to go to the lengths to get a Soldier in trouble for cheating, keep in mind as part of the Soldiers NJP, they can lose rank, and pay.
Basically you make the service look bad since you lack dicipline to keep your hands to yourself and integrity to live upto that promise you made. So what makes your coworkers any different? You cheat on your spouse why wouldn't you cheat your own soldiers out of things they're entitled to or have earned?
In my opinion, it should be punishable, less people should turn a blind eye to it and spouses should have more support for these situations.
Quoting jas_momof2:They lose it all the time here. It's published in the base paper once a month as far as what judgements were passed. Drunk driving, spice possession and adultery are the top three infractions. Reduction in rank and pay is the usual punishment.
To answer why would someone want to hurt his career is pretty simple. Adultery is a hurtful violation against not just the marriage, but against the partner. No amount of money is going to make it better. The injured spouse wants the other to hurt. If it means a little less money - so be it. It would be worth it for him to have to go work being a lessor man (woman) than what he was before this happened.
Quoting Anonymous:
Correct. People seem to think "oh he cheated!" "Tell his command!"
Even sharing a hotel room isn't enough proof. You have to have seen them together, like walking into your home and called the MPs style. I've only ever seen 1 soldier in 20 years actually lose rank.
Wife comes home from work, he's in their bed with one of the PX ladies and she's like "Get this woman out of my house!" And he got all stupid and tells her "I can not do that" and she called the MPs on him. The stupid woman was still there when they got there! They took him in his boxers and a robe. I swear that man made E4 twice.
Also women don't think that hurting his career can also hurt what they will receive in alimony or child support.
If there will be a divorce and I'm a sahm why would I want him to make less money? The bills will all be the same (he will probably still be stuck with a mortgage payment, a cable contract, loans, car payments...) and what will be left over from his paycheck will be less.
Quoting Anonymous:Here is the REAL issue behind that. Although it is within the Commanders legal authority to punish a Soldier for cheating, the Soldier has rights. Before the Commander can impose any kind of punishment on the Soldier for cheating, he must be able to prove that the allegations are true. Some spouses are completely spiteful and make allegations that are completely untrue, which makes it difficult for the Commander to make decisions off of verbal accusations. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, if he/she really wants to go to the lengths to damage a Soldiers career because they're being spiteful, the accuser is going to have to PROVE it. Pictures, emails, etc.
Also, food for thought: If you really want to go to the lengths to get a Soldier in trouble for cheating, keep in mind as part of the Soldiers NJP, they can lose rank, and pay.
Quoting Anonymous:
Correct. People seem to think "oh he cheated!" "Tell his command!"
Even sharing a hotel room isn't enough proof. You have to have seen them together, like walking into your home and called the MPs style. I've only ever seen 1 soldier in 20 years actually lose rank.
Wife comes home from work, he's in their bed with one of the PX ladies and she's like "Get this woman out of my house!" And he got all stupid and tells her "I can not do that" and she called the MPs on him. The stupid woman was still there when they got there! They took him in his boxers and a robe. I swear that man made E4 twice.
Also women don't think that hurting his career can also hurt what they will receive in alimony or child support.
If there will be a divorce and I'm a sahm why would I want him to make less money? The bills will all be the same (he will probably still be stuck with a mortgage payment, a cable contract, loans, car payments...) and what will be left over from his paycheck will be less.
Quoting Anonymous:Here is the REAL issue behind that. Although it is within the Commanders legal authority to punish a Soldier for cheating, the Soldier has rights. Before the Commander can impose any kind of punishment on the Soldier for cheating, he must be able to prove that the allegations are true. Some spouses are completely spiteful and make allegations that are completely untrue, which makes it difficult for the Commander to make decisions off of verbal accusations. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, if he/she really wants to go to the lengths to damage a Soldiers career because they're being spiteful, the accuser is going to have to PROVE it. Pictures, emails, etc.
Also, food for thought: If you really want to go to the lengths to get a Soldier in trouble for cheating, keep in mind as part of the Soldiers NJP, they can lose rank, and pay.
I'm a SM, my neighbor's husband (back when we lived in housing) was cheating on her with a no name lady from town and nobody ever did anything. That commander always had the service member in mind, not the spouse. The one case I know of losing rank, I know others went down too but I don't know of their case personally.
Quoting Tish_Hughes:
Are you a spouse or a SM cause I've been in way less than that and I've seen 2 NCOs go down. One SGT and one SSG. The SSG was knocked down one and then kicked out. The female he cheated with went from SPC to PFC. The SSG and SPC were reduced in rank by the battalion commander (LTC).
Quoting Anonymous:
Correct. People seem to think "oh he cheated!" "Tell his command!"
Even sharing a hotel room isn't enough proof. You have to have seen them together, like walking into your home and called the MPs style. I've only ever seen 1 soldier in 20 years actually lose rank.
Wife comes home from work, he's in their bed with one of the PX ladies and she's like "Get this woman out of my house!" And he got all stupid and tells her "I can not do that" and she called the MPs on him. The stupid woman was still there when they got there! They took him in his boxers and a robe. I swear that man made E4 twice.
Also women don't think that hurting his career can also hurt what they will receive in alimony or child support.
If there will be a divorce and I'm a sahm why would I want him to make less money? The bills will all be the same (he will probably still be stuck with a mortgage payment, a cable contract, loans, car payments...) and what will be left over from his paycheck will be less.
Quoting Anonymous:Here is the REAL issue behind that. Although it is within the Commanders legal authority to punish a Soldier for cheating, the Soldier has rights. Before the Commander can impose any kind of punishment on the Soldier for cheating, he must be able to prove that the allegations are true. Some spouses are completely spiteful and make allegations that are completely untrue, which makes it difficult for the Commander to make decisions off of verbal accusations. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, if he/she really wants to go to the lengths to damage a Soldiers career because they're being spiteful, the accuser is going to have to PROVE it. Pictures, emails, etc.
Also, food for thought: If you really want to go to the lengths to get a Soldier in trouble for cheating, keep in mind as part of the Soldiers NJP, they can lose rank, and pay.
GASP
