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Military Families Military Families

Found out my Marine cheated

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My husband is a brand new marine just got out of MOS school he told me this girl (also a marine & married to a marine herself whom was deployed at the time) was his "friend" i believed him. he just got out of MOS school and I just moved here to his PDS. well this "friend" of his said she was bored and wanted to hang out one day and wanted to meet me. this little b****( who is only 19 year old, 7 years younger then my husband and I) had been staying at my house hanging out for 2 weeks finally decided to tell me (even tho i already had felt it) that her and my husband had been sleeping together for a month! i flipped shit! i asked him if it was true he said yes i asked him if he loved her and he looked me in the eyes and told me actually i do. my heart fell into my stomach. we've been together for 6 years and have a 4 year old daughter together. i packed me shit and went to a hotel a booked a plane ticket home. he came running after me (hours later) and cried and begged me to come home and how "sorry" he was and he made a mistake and he told me he doesnt love her and that it was lust and he was thinking with his di"" ... i gave it a chance and went home... here i am 8 MONTHS LATER finding out now this bitch is pregnant.. i got scared thinking it may be my husbands but there isnt any possible way considering it happened 8 motnhs ago and shes only 20 weeks along and PCSed to Cali in September so not possible.. thank god for that but the problem now im having is getting over it.. i cry all the time i hate him for what hes done to me.. i gave everything and he gave nothing.. i think i just need to talk to someone about all this cause im just really hurt. i bring it up all the time and i dont wanna fight with him but it just hurts that bad. he has kissed my ass and has been bending over backwards to prove to me how sorry he is but i feel like its not good enough.. we find out tomorrow if hes deploying and im scared hes going to do it again.. he says it was the biggest mistake of his life and he almost lost me and his daughter and that hell never do it again but it makes me really nervous.. he also keeps begging me to have another child with him and i really want to since our daughter is almost 5 but i just dont think i can right now.. i honestly have so much hate bulit up for him but i also know theres a lot of love still left for him. i do love him and im strong enough to give our 6 year marriage another chance but if he does this again im done.. any insite on this or has this ever happened to anyone before? please be respecful with posts because i am still sensitive to my situation =/

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:39 AM
Replies (21-26):
IAmE7
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 2:12 PM

First off, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

Secondly, there was a statement that my GMa told me once regarding marriage "Marriage is long but it has to forgive in order to heal and move on." IMO it sounds like you've yet to forgive him. I'm not saying that you have too but I do think that you need to make a decision if you're going too or not. I think once you do that, then you'll be able to decide about having another child. 

Good luck.

coodychan
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:16 PM

Like the other ladies have mentioned.  Seek marriage counseling and individual counseling as well.  Talk to  a chaplin to see if he can offer counseling.  Maybe even a marriage retreat.  Once trust is broken, it's hard to build back up but not impossible but it'll take both of you to work at it.  Good luck.

asaffell
by Ashley on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:15 PM

Counseling. From experience, it's the only thing that really helps.

Beenhereforever
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:20 PM
If you want to make sure he isn't talking to her anymore you should join the detective wives club. When my dh was cheating on me he would talk to the girls on his way to base. But we can help you
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asaffell
by Ashley on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Distrust and snooping are highly unlikely to aid in healing of a broken marriage. Actually, they'll do nothing but create the situation she fears instead of aiding them both in creating what they want.


Quoting Beenhereforever:

If you want to make sure he isn't talking to her anymore you should join the detective wives club. When my dh was cheating on me he would talk to the girls on his way to base. But we can help you



Beenhereforever
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:28 PM
Well, if she is trying to rebuild the trust in we marriage (which is what she wants) snooping is exactly what she needs. She can't trust her husband now, just on his word alone. If he is telling her it's not going to happen again or no I'm not talking to her, she needs to makes sure before she can actually start building that trust again.


Quoting asaffell:

Distrust and snooping are highly unlikely to aid in healing of a broken marriage. Actually, they'll do nothing but create the situation she fears instead of aiding them both in creating what they want.



Quoting Beenhereforever:

If you want to make sure he isn't talking to her anymore you should join the detective wives club. When my dh was cheating on me he would talk to the girls on his way to base. But we can help you





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