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Military Families Military Families

Maybe I'm just bitter....

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But I don't see what the issue is. I'm in a group on Facebook for people in my MOS. Someone (a male E5 I am guessing) asked how can be to about getting his date for ALC changed cause his wife is having a baby on the 18th of May and his school date is for the 28th of May. I told him that I wasn't trying to be rude but that's just an estimate, blah blah, she could have it earlier and just knock out the school and go back home. It's just a few weeks. I believe it's 6? He then said "we have a 4 year old, were in Alaska and she has no family support system". So I just said that I'll take his date and that his wife is a big girl-she'll be okay. Now people are all like "that's not nice! That's toxic leadership!" Not to only me cause I said I would take his spot but someone else cause they said he wanted to be an E6 and not a SSG.

This is how I see it: it's a friggin school that not even that long. Get the school done and call it a day. They're saying "have empathy". Maybe I'm bitter lol but when I has my child, I went home by myself and was home for all but 1 week by myself with my newborn. I went to field problems, deployed, duties and didn't once say I can't because of no family support. So if any vets or hell, veteran wives think otherwise-tell me if that isn't "nice". Because I'm sure plenty husbands have left and the women had to so it all on their own for far longer than 6 weeks. Oh, be also said he wants to go warrant. :/ do what you want but I still think its stupid and borderline whiney babyish.
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by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Replies (41-47):
katinahat
by New Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Those who have struggled should have the most sympathy for struggle, in my personal opinion.

We PCSed when I was 35 weeks pregnant, so I had just started to "plug in" before my daughter was born. My husband was cross-decked when our daughter was 6 days old to a ship leaving in 12 days. The old ship's FRG (understandably) dropped me like a hot potato and the new one wouldn't respond to my emails and phone calls, so I didn't hear from them for months. My daughter had colic, I had PPD, blahblahblah. He came home when she was 8 1/2 months old.

That said, it was excruciatingly difficult. My experience was awful and I would hate to put someone into the situation that I had to endure. Why would I want someone to suffer? Why would I want someone to miss the first six weeks of their child's life, when their spouse desperately needs their help? I'm not saying that he should be able to move his date-- I don't know mission requirements, so I can't make that call. But I certainly don't think that sympathy should be beyond a leader's grasp either.

____________________________________________________________

Christian, vaccinating, fun-loving, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, positive disciplining, nerdy, bookworm, creative, outdoorsy, autodidactic, friendly family.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa

Tish_Hughes
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:58 AM
This was posted like 3 weeks ago......y'all are so late. His date got moved, everything was worked out and I don't even know the man.

Quoting katinahat:

Those who have struggled should have the most sympathy for struggle, in my personal opinion.

We PCSed when I was 35 weeks pregnant, so I had just started to "plug in" before my daughter was born. My husband was cross-decked when our daughter was 6 days old to a ship leaving in 12 days. The old ship's FRG (understandably) dropped me like a hot potato and the new one wouldn't respond to my emails and phone calls, so I didn't hear from them for months. My daughter had colic, I had PPD, blahblahblah. He came home when she was 8 1/2 months old.

That said, it was excruciatingly difficult. My experience was awful and I would hate to put someone into the situation that I had to endure. Why would I want someone to suffer? Why would I want someone to miss the first six weeks of their child's life, when their spouse desperately needs their help? I'm not saying that he should be able to move his date-- I don't know mission requirements, so I can't make that call. But I certainly don't think that sympathy should be beyond a leader's grasp either.

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meka26
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:21 AM

He and his wife should have not had their date moved. They should have sucked it up like the most of us have to do. Hell, SO deployed for a year and I had to suck it up.

Tish_Hughes
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:47 AM
After some explaining, it made sense. He didn't say if there was anything medically wron with his wife and she could be one of those ones who suffer from PPD. You never know cause he never said and I don't know him but it makes sense. Think I just jumped the gun on that one but he's going and still will be able to make sure his wife is okay. Good thing it all woked out for him.

It made sense to me why my platoon sergeant had so much to say about it. Because he's taking 30 days off when his wife has their baby so he will be missing a 2 week field exercise which is why he felt so strongly about it. Whatever works for them, I supposed.


Quoting meka26:

He and his wife should have not had their date moved. They should have sucked it up like the most of us have to do. Hell, SO deployed for a year and I had to suck it up.

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SlapItHigh
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:40 AM
I love your first line here!


Quoting katinahat:

Those who have struggled should have the most sympathy for struggle, in my personal opinion.

We PCSed when I was 35 weeks pregnant, so I had just started to "plug in" before my daughter was born. My husband was cross-decked when our daughter was 6 days old to a ship leaving in 12 days. The old ship's FRG (understandably) dropped me like a hot potato and the new one wouldn't respond to my emails and phone calls, so I didn't hear from them for months. My daughter had colic, I had PPD, blahblahblah. He came home when she was 8 1/2 months old.

That said, it was excruciatingly difficult. My experience was awful and I would hate to put someone into the situation that I had to endure. Why would I want someone to suffer? Why would I want someone to miss the first six weeks of their child's life, when their spouse desperately needs their help? I'm not saying that he should be able to move his date-- I don't know mission requirements, so I can't make that call. But I certainly don't think that sympathy should be beyond a leader's grasp either.


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katinahat
by New Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 12:27 PM

Oh, I was just expressing my approach for the situation-- not that you were necessarily his direct leadership. I'm glad that it was able to get worked out, though!

Quoting Tish_Hughes:

This was posted like 3 weeks ago......y'all are so late. His date got moved, everything was worked out and I don't even know the man.

Quoting katinahat:

Those who have struggled should have the most sympathy for struggle, in my personal opinion.

We PCSed when I was 35 weeks pregnant, so I had just started to "plug in" before my daughter was born. My husband was cross-decked when our daughter was 6 days old to a ship leaving in 12 days. The old ship's FRG (understandably) dropped me like a hot potato and the new one wouldn't respond to my emails and phone calls, so I didn't hear from them for months. My daughter had colic, I had PPD, blahblahblah. He came home when she was 8 1/2 months old.

That said, it was excruciatingly difficult. My experience was awful and I would hate to put someone into the situation that I had to endure. Why would I want someone to suffer? Why would I want someone to miss the first six weeks of their child's life, when their spouse desperately needs their help? I'm not saying that he should be able to move his date-- I don't know mission requirements, so I can't make that call. But I certainly don't think that sympathy should be beyond a leader's grasp either.



____________________________________________________________

Christian, vaccinating, fun-loving, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, positive disciplining, nerdy, extended rear-facing, bookworm, creative, outdoorsy, autodidactic, friendly family.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa

Tish_Hughes
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Me, too. It caused quite the little stink on facebook, LOL B

Quoting katinahat:

Oh, I was just expressing my approach for the situation-- not that you were necessarily his direct leadership. I'm glad that it was able to get worked out, though!


Quoting Tish_Hughes:

This was posted like 3 weeks ago......y'all are so late. His date got moved, everything was worked out and I don't even know the man.



Quoting katinahat:

Those who have struggled should have the most sympathy for struggle, in my personal opinion.

We PCSed when I was 35 weeks pregnant, so I had just started to "plug in" before my daughter was born. My husband was cross-decked when our daughter was 6 days old to a ship leaving in 12 days. The old ship's FRG (understandably) dropped me like a hot potato and the new one wouldn't respond to my emails and phone calls, so I didn't hear from them for months. My daughter had colic, I had PPD, blahblahblah. He came home when she was 8 1/2 months old.

That said, it was excruciatingly difficult. My experience was awful and I would hate to put someone into the situation that I had to endure. Why would I want someone to suffer? Why would I want someone to miss the first six weeks of their child's life, when their spouse desperately needs their help? I'm not saying that he should be able to move his date-- I don't know mission requirements, so I can't make that call. But I certainly don't think that sympathy should be beyond a leader's grasp either.




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