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Military Families Military Families

In need of some legal advice please.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies


Where to begin......

ok, when I was 16 I got pregnant. Needless to say, he was not a good guy. Long sorry short, I got a restraining order on him. After I had my son i got sole and physical custody awarded. I let BD visit as much as he wanted but only made the effort about 5 times, I documented each visit. He was either drunk, or high, or not trying to interact with my DS. Well, BD went to jail 2x and then to prison. While BD was in prison I met an amazing man and we got married. We now have the complete perfect family with my DS and my DD. Well, my sister called me this morning saying she ran into BD's mom at wall mart. From what my sister explained she was high or something. My sister then goes on to tell me that BD gets out of prison next month, and he wants to take parenting classes and all this stuff. 


Because I have temporary sole and physical custody of my DS how hard will it be, if hard at all, to get permanent custody and then do an adoption process for DH? Would you suggest hiring a lawyer? Anyone been in this kind of situation before? Me and DH are not in the same state as BD, because DH is military. 

EDIT:

idk if this also helps... But BD is also a skinhead and has told me and written me letters how he wants to have my DS adopt these values. BD is tattooed from head to toe with Skinhead ideology. This could be deemed as an unfit parent, correct? 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 5:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CortezDeCrock
by Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:02 PM
It shouldn't be hard for you to get full permanent custody since you have been the sole caretaker all if these yers. Getting him to release paternity and agree to an adoption is a whole other thing. That will be a great deal harder. You can def get full custody but a court is not going to make him give up his rights and agree to an adoption even if he is still in prison.
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4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this
I have a friend currently going through this process. Her child's bio dad doesn't want to give up custody. They have their first hearing this month. You really need to obtain a lawyer.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:08 PM


Now, I know in California, where I am originally from, there is an Abandonment law. And when I spoke to a legal advisor he was stating that with the abandonment law, if BD does not financial or emotionally reach out to DS for more than one year he looses his parental rights automatically. Have you ever heard of anything like that before? 

Quoting CortezDeCrock:

It shouldn't be hard for you to get full permanent custody since you have been the sole caretaker all if these yers. Getting him to release paternity and agree to an adoption is a whole other thing. That will be a great deal harder. You can def get full custody but a court is not going to make him give up his rights and agree to an adoption even if he is still in prison.



rekholm
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:09 PM

You need to get an attorneys advice here, every state is different.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:09 PM


Will do that when DH comes back. Thank you for some insight. 

Quoting 4ever-SJ:

I have a friend currently going through this process. Her child's bio dad doesn't want to give up custody. They have their first hearing this month. You really need to obtain a lawyer.



usmclife58
by Nikki on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:36 PM

You can get free legal counseling at most law offices. I would go there. 

CortezDeCrock
by Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:02 PM
Yeah I would def go to the JAG office on post. You are right about the abandonment law, but it definitely differs from state to state. The JAG office can give you specific insight for your state. Sometimes exes can really make things difficult. Believe me I totally know.
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violinjewel
by Julia on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:03 PM
I would get a lawyer.
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cocoroo
by Coco on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM

I would speak to a lawyer.

chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:29 PM
Since you were not married to the father, you could have his parental rights terminated. Definitely consult with an attorney.
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