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Military Families Military Families

Struggling with pending deployment....

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:34 AM
  • 90 Replies

We all go through it, "the emotional cycle of deployment". They make it all seem so clear cut, with their flow charts and steps. And it's pretty accurate, frustratingly so. But it's hard to fit our own realities into such neat little sections.....

But how do we do it? How do we deal? I mean, everything seems so daunting at the moment.

The loneliness. That's a big one. How will I do everything alone? Normal things don't even seem worth doing, if I'm just going to be alone. 'Make friends' they say. Well that's easier said than done for some of us. I'm a stay at home mom and I live off post. And to add to that I'm not the most outgoing person around people I don't know. I just can't imagine a whole year, by myself with no real adult contact. I mean what will it matter if I clean my house or get ready for my day  if I never have any visitors and the furthest I'll ever go is to the drop off line at the school or maybe the commissary once a week? I literally know no one here, and the days are counting down.

And what about the worry? I'm worried already and he's not even gone. I know we shouldn't watch the news or surf the web to find out info about what's going on over seas, but I've already begun. I just have this undying need to find out about the situation there. How hostile is it? How dangerous? I look and look, but really you'll never know. You never know exactly where they are or what they are doing. Or if they are coming home...

And the kids. How do you explain to a seven year old, that daddy is going to be gone for a year? That daddy will do his best to stay safe and come back to us in one piece? A kid a school told our son his dad is going to die. I mean come on, really? That was a tough one. And what about our babies? Their father's leave and come back and they don't know who they are? Is that what happens? How do I keep a connection alive for a 3 month old little girl and her dad?....


I guess we just do our best. That's all you can ever do in any situation. It's hard, you have to be creative and positive, even when you don't feel like getting out of bed. You have to be strong for your children and for your soldier. It's important for them to be able to have confidence that things will be ok at home. They need to be able to focus on the mission. We signed up for this. When you marry a soldier, you have to be prepared for this life. The life of the army wife. Don't they say it's the hardest job in the army? Sometimes I think it's just a constellation. That our guys are just trying to make us feel good about our contribution. But right now I'm thinking they just might be right.

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
edelweiss23
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:41 AM
8 moms liked this
You might want to find a counselor to talk to while he is gone.
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edelweiss23
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Also, invest in a good computer for him. Use it to Skype as often as you can.

My husband was 12 months into his deployment(with weeks to come home) and was asked to stay for an additional 6 months.

Send him care packages, letters, cards full of pictures. Get out and take the kids places, make friends, take up a hobby(I took up ballroom dance lessons). Find yourself while he is gone. I also got in shape while my husband was gone.

You can't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself or it will consume you.
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xtriciax
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:00 PM

my hubby just got back from 12 months in afgan. he is kp explosive mp and it was a difficult yr. DD (1 year and half when he left) had an immune disorder and i had a miscarriage at 10 wks. skype and care packages kept our spirits up and just knowing that in a year he would be back in our arms. i pray that you find the strength to be strong for your family. i never really allowed myself to think worse case scenerios kept me sane. best of luck and prayers for your hubby. and skype will help your baby know him. my Dd ran straight to him at the airport during R&R. 

4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:20 PM
2 moms liked this
Is this a blog?
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adrianna1043
by Adrianna on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:24 PM
That's what I thought too.

Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Is this a blog?
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usmclife58
by Nikki on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Dafuq?

4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:31 PM
I really hope not. It's very stream-of-conscious.


Quoting adrianna1043:

That's what I thought too.



Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Is this a blog?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
violinjewel
by Julia on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:31 PM



Quoting edelweiss23:

You might want to find a counselor to talk to while he is gone.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
edelweiss23
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:33 PM
Some of these posts seem like they are ultra dependent on their husband and can't function if he is gone.


Quoting 4ever-SJ:

I really hope not. It's very stream-of-conscious.




Quoting adrianna1043:

That's what I thought too.





Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Is this a blog?


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:42 PM
I function better when he's gone.


Quoting edelweiss23:

Some of these posts seem like they are ultra dependent on their husband and can't function if he is gone.




Quoting 4ever-SJ:

I really hope not. It's very stream-of-conscious.






Quoting adrianna1043:

That's what I thought too.







Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Is this a blog?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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