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Military to SAHM?

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:24 PM
  • 11 Replies
So I am currently AD Air Force. I have been in for 3 years now out of a 6 year enlistment. The last 3 years have been the most miserable of my life, but it has made my family financially independent. The only bright spot in my life at this point is my 19 month old son. Lately things keep happening that make me feel like I need to get away and quickly. For a month I have been thinking of doing Palace Chase and going reserves. That way I can stay home with my son the majority of the time and have a bit of an income. It's such a big decision because we would be cutting our income in half and I don't know how we would make it, though I know a lot of families in the military easily make it on one member's salary. I'm so torn, the ONLY thing keeping me in is the money, and I can't convince myself that the money is not worth it. And I don't know if I could teach my son the way his daycare does and keep him occupied. But i also think Do i spend the day with people who treat me like crap and apprecite nothing i do, or stay at home with people who love me and dont care what mistakes i make? It's a big change, is it possible? How hard is it to be a SAHM? Is this a good decision or a stupid one?
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:51 PM

 What is a palace chase?

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:55 PM
Palace chase is finishing your enlistment as a reservist instead of active duty.
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:08 PM


Quoting WookieCookie:

Palace chase is finishing your enlistment as a reservist instead of active duty.

Will you lose the medical benefits for the family? 

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:15 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

. No because my husband is active duty.
by Ada on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:25 PM
2 moms liked this

You do what works for your best well being... I went from working full time to being a stay at home wife to now a stay at home mom. My days are filled with reading and playing with my son, going out places with him, cooking (learning to cook better) and working out. It's less stress... And I enjoy it. We live comfortable on one salary. I wouldn't stick out a job if you felt stressed AND could make it financially on one salary. Oh but the income you make for the reseves isn't much... I make like $350 a drill weekend (an E5 with over 6 years in)... So it covers like my car payment and my gas to get to drill and back. I wouldn't rely on it. Good luck on your decision.

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:58 PM

that's a huge financial cut. Would you be able to budget to make that work? Sit down with ALL your finances, and make a chart and figure out exactly what you NEED as an income, and then make sure you have a bit extra for cushion/emergencies/entertainment. 

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:18 PM

 You do what works best for you. If you're miserable, then dont do it anymore. Money isn't everything, and you'll figure a budget that works for you if need be. I went from AD to SAHM and it was a huge adjustment for me. I did not hate my job though. I loved being a soldier. But I did what I knew was best for my child at the time, and that was to not re-up. That was almost 4 years ago, I got out.


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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:21 PM

I was a sahm for many, many years.  We managed just fine financially,  I was a sahm from the time my dh enlisted 12 years ago until about 6 months ago.  I am grateful that I had the time with my children when they were young. They are 18 (Air Force currently), 15, 12 and 10.

by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:48 PM

 I guess that it depends. Are you tapped out financially on bills that aren't flexable? By that I mean, do you have a mortgage, 2 car payments, motorcycle payment, boat payment, insurance, debt, etc that take up the majority of both of your pay? If thats the case, then start working to pay down your debt and then stay at home once your bills are more easily managed on one salary.

If that isn't the case, and your pay is simply going for things like dining out, vacations, etc and you can cut away at expenses and make do...then go for it.

by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:59 PM
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I'm former active duty.  I didn't know it when I was in, but I had Asperger's Syndrome.  I had really poor communications skills, coupled with a few really bad bosses and some assholes working with me (of the same rank).  I decided to separate.  It was the BEST decision I have ever made.  I'm so much happier being out.  My husband is still active, and he is doing much better in the military.  I say go for it.  Don't worry you won't be bored, or regret it.  If you are miserable now, don't stay somewhere where you are miserable.  FTR, the reserves the people are a lot nicer.

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