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OT: porn in your marriage

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

First off, I didn't know where else to post this...but hopefully I can get some advice because *maybe* someone has gone through it. Secondly, I'm posting anon because I am totally embarassed to be writing this. I don't know ANY of you in real life, but knowing we all move around, it is possible I may walk past you one day at the commissary lol so I'm not taking any chances. 

DH ws in Korea for 2 years, and recently came back. While he was gone, I was pregnant(got pregnant while he was home on leave) and I basically had no desire to be sexual at all because I was so sick. So, needless to say, he watched a lot of porn during that time. And that time was near the end of his time there. Totally fine with me, because I would rather him do that than go get satisfied with some random. 

Fast forward to now. He has been home for 3 months. We consistently have sex a minimum of 4 times a week, except for my period week. 

So, I was on his computer trying to find a site he had told me to look on, and I couldn't remember the name. I click on the history to find it, and I see all kinds of porn. Like a massive amount being watched. And his porn watching is pretty much daily. It's in the morning when he comes home from PT(I am still sleeping and he is in the office), at night when I'm away visiting family...pretty much any time I am not at home. 

I guess I can't figure out why he needs to watch so much porn when he's having sex with me and getting oral sex from me all the I asked him, and he said he didn't know. Well, okay then. 

Now tonight, I tell him that I've been having a difficult time feeling connected with him the past 3 times we've had sex. I tell him that I think it's because I know how much porn he is watching, and I am feeling like I'm not satisfying him. He got mad at me because he said it's a habit. He did it for two years and how dare I just expect him to stop. 

Well, you didn't JUST get home. You got home 3, almost 4 months ago. And why would you feel the need to do it? 

So...I guess I don't really know what my exact question is for you ladies. I listen to Cosmo Radio on SiriusXM, and Dr Jenn always says that if you have a healthy sex life, that it involves porn. I just don't really believe that. Porn watching together, yeah. But not alone, hiding away. I just don't see why you would need it if your spouse is filling your sexual needs. 

Any advice? Should I drop it? Should I confront him again? Is there something wrong with the way I am thinking? I am totally open to suggestions. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Replies (101-101):
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 2:53 PM

This post makes me laugh a little.

I don't think EVERY relationship has to have porn in order to be good. But I also think that EVERY porn-watching couple is immoral and twisted. Everyone is different, everyone has different sexual needs and desires. For my marriage, I don't have a problem with it. I pick things for him when he's gone, we watch things together, and he doesn't turn me down in favor of watching a video. Why would I be bothered by it? If he was hiding it from me, and turning me down, then it would be a problem to me. But that's not the case for us. 

Why do people feel the need to dictate the rules and acceptable behaviors in the marriages of other people?? 

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