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Military Families Military Families

Is This Normal?

Posted by on May. 10, 2013 at 12:48 AM
  • 9 Replies

**this turned into a rambling, jumbled mess; i'm sorry for that lol time for bed**

Husband leaves for basic extremely soon and the past two days we have been arguing over stupid things and just getting upset with each other in general.

This is extremely unlike us, we never are at each others throats like this.

Anyways, we talked about it and we really think its just the stress and my anxiety getting the better of us.

My question is, is this normal? Is it normal to be fighting/arguing/angry before a long(ish) separation?

I hope it is because otherwise I'm just some emotionally unstable crazy lady. Maybe it's just because this is our first time being apart. I thought I was handling it well enough and focusing on everything we needed to get organized and prepared...but these past two days are making me question my readiness.

Thanks for reading :)

by on May. 10, 2013 at 12:48 AM
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Replies (1-9):
SlapItHigh
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2013 at 2:32 AM

For some people, yeah.  A lot of people fight before they have to be apart.  I think it has to do with making it easier to go.  It's more painful to leave someone that you are feeling wonderful about than one you are mad at, lol.

SlapItHigh
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2013 at 2:32 AM

But sorry you guys are going through this.

barrelracer1699
by Chel on May. 10, 2013 at 2:32 AM

Yes it is normal. My husband is also one that will start to push me away before he leaves for long periods of time.

Mizuagi
by Brenda on May. 10, 2013 at 2:49 AM

 My DH left for BCT almost a month ago now. Before he left, we were both VERY stressed out about him leaving and we also moved the weekend before he left, so it added so much more to our stress and we were at each other's throats! haha.

So yes, it is normal. Just keep reminding him that no matter how angry you get at each other, you love him. I also wrote him a letter so he could read on his way to BCT reminding him how much I love him and how much I was going to miss him.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 10, 2013 at 5:17 AM

Hugs mama!  Sorry!

Whitney15
by on May. 10, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Normal for some people, not normal for others. 

Whenever my husband is getting ready to go away for a while, he always starts acting crazy 4 days before. He starts getting mad at stupid stuff and just being an all around loser lol. I just let him be. I've talked to him about it at times after he was already gone, and he said it's easier to leave when you're "mad" at someone. And that's exactly how it is. He leaves mad, and calls me while he's in the airplane and tells me he loves me and is sorry. 

Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on May. 10, 2013 at 11:42 PM

i think its normal, yes. it's a lot of stress that you really can't prepare for until you've been through it ya know? So even while you're doing the best you can, there's that unknown creeping up on you. just try to relax and have clear communication. talk about everything.

TIPTONTNSAHM
by on May. 11, 2013 at 9:59 AM

It depends is it just a little fight. A few words and then not wanting to talk to each other or are you fist fighting. The first is normal, little petty things. I snip at him about little things. But once he is gone make a point to write your hubby a long sexy letter. It will make it easier on you and him. Maybe write him a letter before he leaves and hide it in his stuff. I used to write a long letter and then my son would put a stuffed animal in his suitcase.

TIPTONTNSAHM
by on May. 11, 2013 at 10:05 AM

Everytime my hubby leaves I worry that a call or someone will show up at our door. I feel like I'm holding my breath when I answer the front door. Then after a while it gets easier but, it is still in the back of my head. And we have been through many deployments and small little trips. I just wish we could see our family to make it easier. I think there are so many things to do for the kids when they were younger. Lots of tricks like making photo books etc. But, does anyone know what to do for kids dealing with deployments that are age 10 and older?

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