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Soldiers Should Have Honor (SO) They Say... Wrong!

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I was fooled. My ex-husband and I were separated for a while, then later divorced in 2010. After finding out that he fathered another kid while we were married. Before the divorce he said that he was medically discharged from the military (back injury). When we divorced, we split everything down the middle. He and I both just had regular jobs paying about the same and each a vehicle. Everything went smooth. Until... In 2011, when he didn't show up to a scheduled court hearing. He then faxed over a copy of Military orders (deployment). So needless to say he wasn't showing up. I found out later that he had never been medically discharged, never did he take a break from the military and yes you guessed it he LIED on the divorce papers! He has been in the military since 1991 and we were married for 11 years. I contacted his commander and even someone from the JAG department. No help! I thought the military would be more supportive. Who should I talk to or how do I go about dealing with this? I know a lawyer but I have been looking for one in (Minnesota) that knows about Military Law. Should I take him back to court? Oh by the way when I asked my ex-husband about all this he stated... "I didn't have to disclose military income, benefits, pension information during the divorce process" and "the kid thing just happen". HELP me if you can!

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:37 PM
Replies (11-20):
Katkinson
by Kristin on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:21 PM

I am sorry for your situation.  But I caution you to keep the blanket statements to yourself.  As prior military and a military spouse, I do take offense to the title of your post.  All service members are not your husband. 

Again, I am very sorry you are upset. . . and maybe it's just me being overly sensitive/hormonal right now. .. but my husband IS honorable, and so am I.  I'm very sorry yours was not. 

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:38 PM

 So what exactly are you wanting from him now?

KidsTea3
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:40 PM

Yes. I am glad. Thank you all. My kids get no benefits from him or the military other then $400 in child support. We both pay 50% medical and dental for the kids. I pay EVERYTHING else that they need, plus my own needs. He is living the good life.I will look into getting a lawyer and going back to court!!!

KidsTea3
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Please understand, I dont want any of you to take offense to the title of my post. I know there are a lot of honorable service memebers out there. I am just hurt that I got one of the ones that are not. No disrespect to anyone.


chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:57 PM
2 moms liked this
Aren't your kids his kids, too? If he is AD, his kids are still his dependents and should be enrolled in DEERS and covered for medical & dental. Your story doesn't sound right.

Quoting KidsTea3:

Yes. I am glad. Thank you all. My kids get no benefits from him or the military other then $400 in child support. We both pay 50% medical and dental for the kids. I pay EVERYTHING else that they need, plus my own needs. He is living the good life.I will look into getting a lawyer and going back to court!!!

SusanD
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:59 PM
I am so confused......
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Aren't your kids his kids, too? If he is AD, his kids are still his dependents and should be enrolled in DEERS and covered for medical & dental. Your story doesn't sound right.

Quoting KidsTea3:

Yes. I am glad. Thank you all. My kids get no benefits from him or the military other then $400 in child support. We both pay 50% medical and dental for the kids. I pay EVERYTHING else that they need, plus my own needs. He is living the good life.I will look into getting a lawyer and going back to court!!!

 If he lied and said he wasn't Active duty anymore and she saw him "at work" (by the way Ive known several people to have side jobs and weekend jobs while AD) then she probably went and got the kids insurance through another company.

It sounds a tad screwy and a little hard to believe, but if ole boy played his shit the way she states, he is a damn asshole.

Also since CS is based off his income and if he only claimed this "side job" if he even actually had one then since it came to be he still AD the child support should be re-evaluated for his actual income and will more then likely go up. Im no attorney though, just going off my personal experience.

KidsTea3
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:27 PM



Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Aren't your kids his kids, too? If he is AD, his kids are still his dependents and should be enrolled in DEERS and covered for medical & dental. Your story doesn't sound right.

Quoting KidsTea3:

Yes. I am glad. Thank you all. My kids get no benefits from him or the military other then $400 in child support. We both pay 50% medical and dental for the kids. I pay EVERYTHING else that they need, plus my own needs. He is living the good life.I will look into getting a lawyer and going back to court!!!

 If he lied and said he wasn't Active duty anymore and she saw him "at work" (by the way Ive known several people to have side jobs and weekend jobs while AD) then she probably went and got the kids insurance through another company.

It sounds a tad screwy and a little hard to believe, but if ole boy played his shit the way she states, he is a damn asshole.

Also since CS is based off his income and if he only claimed this "side job" if he even actually had one then since it came to be he still AD the child support should be re-evaluated for his actual income and will more then likely go up. Im no attorney though, just going off my personal experience.

Yes, please dont treat me like a fool because my ex-husband did. I am not expecting everyone to like or understand my situation (Sh!t I dont even understand it fully) but remember I reached out for help because I am not familiar with the whole military process/rights and responsibilities as a soldier. I was hoping I would get some help from this site.  



Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:32 PM

i have no idea. can you take him back to court to reevaluate child support? or...idk if there's anything you can do about the lying during the divorce but...i have no idea. 

SusanD
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Bottom line, the military is not involved in civilian matters, to include divorce, etc. having said that your best course of action is to take him back to court and pursue having child support raised. You can tell the judge then what happened. Maybe your state has some way of handling this to get you some form of compensation to make up for what you did not get in child support for those precious years....but that would be up to the state and the judge. I suggest getting a good attorney.
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