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Soldiers Should Have Honor (SO) They Say... Wrong!

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I was fooled. My ex-husband and I were separated for a while, then later divorced in 2010. After finding out that he fathered another kid while we were married. Before the divorce he said that he was medically discharged from the military (back injury). When we divorced, we split everything down the middle. He and I both just had regular jobs paying about the same and each a vehicle. Everything went smooth. Until... In 2011, when he didn't show up to a scheduled court hearing. He then faxed over a copy of Military orders (deployment). So needless to say he wasn't showing up. I found out later that he had never been medically discharged, never did he take a break from the military and yes you guessed it he LIED on the divorce papers! He has been in the military since 1991 and we were married for 11 years. I contacted his commander and even someone from the JAG department. No help! I thought the military would be more supportive. Who should I talk to or how do I go about dealing with this? I know a lawyer but I have been looking for one in (Minnesota) that knows about Military Law. Should I take him back to court? Oh by the way when I asked my ex-husband about all this he stated... "I didn't have to disclose military income, benefits, pension information during the divorce process" and "the kid thing just happen". HELP me if you can!

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:37 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Melissa on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:37 PM
No one here is treating you like a fool. Some of us were simply trying to understand the situation because the story is confusing. But if you're going to get pissy, forget it.

Quoting KidsTea3:

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Aren't your kids his kids, too? If he is AD, his kids are still his dependents and should be enrolled in DEERS and covered for medical & dental. Your story doesn't sound right.

Quoting KidsTea3:

Yes. I am glad. Thank you all. My kids get no benefits from him or the military other then $400 in child support. We both pay 50% medical and dental for the kids. I pay EVERYTHING else that they need, plus my own needs. He is living the good life.I will look into getting a lawyer and going back to court!!!

 If he lied and said he wasn't Active duty anymore and she saw him "at work" (by the way Ive known several people to have side jobs and weekend jobs while AD) then she probably went and got the kids insurance through another company.

It sounds a tad screwy and a little hard to believe, but if ole boy played his shit the way she states, he is a damn asshole.

Also since CS is based off his income and if he only claimed this "side job" if he even actually had one then since it came to be he still AD the child support should be re-evaluated for his actual income and will more then likely go up. Im no attorney though, just going off my personal experience.

Yes, please dont treat me like a fool because my ex-husband did. I am not expecting everyone to like or understand my situation (Sh!t I dont even understand it fully) but remember I reached out for help because I am not familiar with the whole military process/rights and responsibilities as a soldier. I was hoping I would get some help from this site.  

by Kara on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:46 PM

I am super confused. He has been in the military since 1991. You got divorced in 2010. So, he was in the military when you were married. How did you not know your husband was active duty?

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:56 PM
I'm so sorry for every thing you are going through and I would keep fighting and maybe have him pay your court cost. I wish you the best. Kim
by Julia on Jul. 18, 2013 at 12:03 AM
How long was could be be in the military while you were married, and you didn't know? It just doesn't make sense.
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by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Bullshit, he was supposed to report all that info. I would be contacting everyone on his chain of command that's a huge no no!
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 12:39 AM

 So you got married in 1999. Divorced in 2010. before the divorce he said he was discharged (med boarded) for back injury in either 2009 or 2010.

What was this regular job you saw him at?

What was this new court date for?

And any lawyer, not just a military lawyer would know that he has to disclose his military income since its, you know, his income. Get a lawyer and nail his ass.

by アニメの雌犬 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 12:51 AM

For a civil matter?  Really?  The best thing she can do is get a lawyer and go back to court.  The military and certainly the chain of command has no obligation to her or her divorce that already happened.

Good god they have better things to do than deal with things that they are not involved in!

Quoting OkieMom2673:

Bullshit, he was supposed to report all that info. I would be contacting everyone on his chain of command that's a huge no no!

by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:19 AM

sorry, can't make it clicky.
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:21 AM
by Darby on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:57 AM

I wish you the best!

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