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Military Families Military Families

Can anyone tell me what I would need?

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:15 PM
  • 14 Replies

So I posted previously about my son visiting his dad, well we made it through that weekend (whew) and he is back home with us! Well then it hit me... what if we ever got orders to move somewhere else (eekk). There is no custody agreement and his dad lives in a different state (I'm in NC, he is in NJ)... so what exactly would I need to do to set up a custody order?? 

Should I just go to an attorney and have them contact bio dad...or should I go through the state like access & visitation? I'm not sure how it would work since bio dad is AD Coast Guard (We are AD Army) and he doesn't live in this state. 

by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cocoroo
by Coco on Jul. 18, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I think you need to go through the state the child resides in.  My oldest son's father and I were always able to work things out fairly amicably without lawyers, but not everyone  is like that.

jtsmommie0104
by Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 3:52 PM

We have never NEEDED lawyers I just wasn't sure if it's easier to go that route in the event we PCS. 

Quoting cocoroo:

I think you need to go through the state the child resides in.  My oldest son's father and I were always able to work things out fairly amicably without lawyers, but not everyone  is like that.


cocoroo
by Coco on Jul. 18, 2013 at 3:55 PM

If his father is agreeable on the matter, you should be fine.  We just had to go through the courts with a mediator to make it official.  If my son's father had been a dick, lawyers would have been necessary.

Quoting jtsmommie0104:

We have never NEEDED lawyers I just wasn't sure if it's easier to go that route in the event we PCS. 

Quoting cocoroo:

I think you need to go through the state the child resides in.  My oldest son's father and I were always able to work things out fairly amicably without lawyers, but not everyone  is like that.



Katkinson
by Kristin on Jul. 18, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Well, I am glad that they are both AD, because as you will see on this board, usually women are prevented from leaving for their husband's orders if the bio dad wants to put up a fight.  BUT since he will have to move due to orders too, I think you are in a better situation. 

I'd contact a lawyer first to ask for advice.  HTH

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:05 PM

Hugs and good luck mama...I honestly have no experience:)

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

 We lived in NC and my ex husband lives in NJ. He is very agreeable to us moving, however I wanted a custody order in place anyway before we pcs'd. I paid $875 to an NC attorney  and he handled everything for me. He went to court for me, got the order, filed it, and sent both me and my exhusband a copy. This was for us having joint custody, with me having physical custody, and dad having liberal visitation at any time it worked out for him since he was so far away.

Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:21 PM

IDK, my ex is a poop and put up a stink after his parents yelled at him for agreeing to let me take DS. lol. Then it got ugly. However, he is not AD anything so that's different.

Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:22 PM

oh. but good luck =] i wouldnt stress over it as long your ex seems 'agreeable.' obviously still get it down on paper and everything but don't stress yourself out about it =] 

jtsmommie0104
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 7:58 AM

Yeah I want something in writing at the same time because yesterday he did make the comment "why not leave him with one of our parents so he is more accessible" 


But it's my job to be his mommy and also he only sees him like 3-4 times a year so to me that's stupid. 

Quoting Mrs.Brugger:

oh. but good luck =] i wouldnt stress over it as long your ex seems 'agreeable.' obviously still get it down on paper and everything but don't stress yourself out about it =] 


jtsmommie0104
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:05 AM

Did you ex also attend court? Was there anything that he had to sign? I'm not sure if he would show...he didn't show for child support. If he doesn't show I don't want them to take away EVERYTHING though. I want him to have visitation at his will. 

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 We lived in NC and my ex husband lives in NJ. He is very agreeable to us moving, however I wanted a custody order in place anyway before we pcs'd. I paid $875 to an NC attorney  and he handled everything for me. He went to court for me, got the order, filed it, and sent both me and my exhusband a copy. This was for us having joint custody, with me having physical custody, and dad having liberal visitation at any time it worked out for him since he was so far away.


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