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Military Families Military Families

feels like the first time...

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:16 PM
  • 22 Replies

Dh deploys next week... it isnt the first time (6th?) and 6 months is not the longest we've been apart before (over a year) and it isn't to anywhere dangerous (thank God).


My problem this time around however, is it's the first time as his wife... we first got together 2 months before he left for bootcamp, more than 8 years ago. we've been married since January. It is the first time where I have literally not known anyone, we got to California in February, and I have been a little too busy to meet anyone, being pregnant and having a baby. Which brings up the fact that this is the first time as a new mom of a beautiful 2 month old dd.

I'm trying to find a way to make money with an ebf baby, 2 dogs, 3 ferrets, and 115gallon fish tank that requires monthly maintenance. (yes i know ferrets are illegal in CA. that isn't the point.) I have no friends or family here, money is very very tight, (newborn, student loans, moving across the country...) and i am doing my best not to stress and to make dh not feel any guiltier than he already does.

I suppose I don't really have any real questions, just need to vent/ask for any advice. I am sure I'm not the first woman in the world with this dilemma, and I won't be the last.

by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
asaffell
by Ashley on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Where in CA are you? Try finding some local momy groups to just get out of the house.

We always did really well financially when he was gone and were able to reduce a lot of our debts. There are things you can do to make money, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet people either way or you'll lose your mind.

sahmw2010
by Beth on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:20 PM
Im sorry. :( i have found that the first married deployment was harder for me then the 2 we were just dating. On the plus side, the baby will keep you plenty busy so hopefully the time passes fast
violinjewel
by Julia on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:21 PM



Quoting asaffell:

Where in CA are you? Try finding some local momy groups to just get out of the house.

We always did really well financially when he was gone and were able to reduce a lot of our debts. There are things you can do to make money, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet people either way or you'll lose your mind.


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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:24 PM

Hugs and good luck!

MissGore
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:24 PM

we are in Port Hueneme. I've done some gigs on Craigslist, but I'm trying to find something a bit more stable. dd refuses to take a bottle yet, we are still working on that. until then she's my shadow. I do need to look into mommy groups, but i feel like i'm slacking if i go out for fun things when there is so much to do at home.


Quoting asaffell:

Where in CA are you? Try finding some local momy groups to just get out of the house.

We always did really well financially when he was gone and were able to reduce a lot of our debts. There are things you can do to make money, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet people either way or you'll lose your mind.



asaffell
by Ashley on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:27 PM

Definitely not slacking - you can't just sit inside with a newborn all day. TRUST ME. The house stuff will be there later. 

She'll probably take a bottle much better when you're not around. :)

Quoting MissGore:

we are in Port Hueneme. I've done some gigs on Craigslist, but I'm trying to find something a bit more stable. dd refuses to take a bottle yet, we are still working on that. until then she's my shadow. I do need to look into mommy groups, but i feel like i'm slacking if i go out for fun things when there is so much to do at home.


Quoting asaffell:

Where in CA are you? Try finding some local momy groups to just get out of the house.

We always did really well financially when he was gone and were able to reduce a lot of our debts. There are things you can do to make money, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet people either way or you'll lose your mind.





MissGore
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:29 PM


I'm sure it'll fly once he's gone. we just did 3 years with the occasional visit while he was stationed in Japan.

Quoting sahmw2010:

Im sorry. :( i have found that the first married deployment was harder for me then the 2 we were just dating. On the plus side, the baby will keep you plenty busy so hopefully the time passes fast



MissGore
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:31 PM


I hope so, I may just give it a try. dh spent 45 minutes last night trying and she only drank about a quarter ouncem dribbling half of that out anyways. she gets her stubbornness from him, i swear.

Quoting asaffell:

Definitely not slacking - you can't just sit inside with a newborn all day. TRUST ME. The house stuff will be there later. 

She'll probably take a bottle much better when you're not around. :)

Quoting MissGore:

we are in Port Hueneme. I've done some gigs on Craigslist, but I'm trying to find something a bit more stable. dd refuses to take a bottle yet, we are still working on that. until then she's my shadow. I do need to look into mommy groups, but i feel like i'm slacking if i go out for fun things when there is so much to do at home.


Quoting asaffell:

Where in CA are you? Try finding some local momy groups to just get out of the house.

We always did really well financially when he was gone and were able to reduce a lot of our debts. There are things you can do to make money, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet people either way or you'll lose your mind.







mlogsdon
by Mary on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:55 PM
Good luck! most other military spouses have been where you are now at some point, so try to put yourself out there! You might get some funny looks, or crazy people occasionally, but you also just might find a few really awesome people that you just click with. :)
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MissGore
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 3:11 PM


I hope so! it just seemed alot easier to make friends in Japan, and I was only there 3 months at a time. I'm sure the baby is the difference.

Quoting mlogsdon:

Good luck! most other military spouses have been where you are now at some point, so try to put yourself out there! You might get some funny looks, or crazy people occasionally, but you also just might find a few really awesome people that you just click with. :)



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