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Military Families Military Families

Feelings

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:15 AM
  • 116 Replies

Ok so this is my husbands 10th deployment and it never gets any easier. Although it IS better that the kids are older and sleeping through the night. Anyway, am I the only wife that feels that her husband has LESS feelings, not able to be like gushy or sensitive perhaps to you or your feelings?? Does he group you in with your children?? Example: when he skypes/calls does he say "how are the kids? how is everything??" Not "how are YOU?? Are YOU doing okay?? I miss YOU and I love YOU??" I feel so far away from him and it's just just in geographical distance either. I've tried to consider that maybe it's A: he's tired when he gets off and gets a chance to skype me so he just wants a quick check-in and then he's done; B: there are 4 other men in the room and of course they can hear every word from HIM, not from me because he wears a headset but maybe he doesn't wanna air his FEELINGS; C: he has put up a wall and siking himself out so that he doesn't HAVE to WANNA feel what he misses... i don't know but it has caused alot of pain and insecurities within me so much that I have NEVER been depressed but I think I MAY begin to feel so. And of course I try to talk to him about this and he just doesn't wann go there. Again maybe because of the reasons above, he's just got tunnel vision "finish the mission and we'll talk when I get home". I can't put this ELEPHANT on a shelf and just WAIT to hear how he feels about me. Im a CANCER and need love, attention, reassurance, affirmation and a little support when i'm having a bad day would be great too. Is that too much to ask for?? I know that I signed up for this MILITARY WIFE stuff 12 years ago but geez Louise, it's definitely breaking me down. Think about it, this is his 10th tour and we;ve been together for 12years and 2 children...I've raiseed 2 babies all alone. I know I shouldn't complain but I find myself a little overwhelmed and exhausted which makes me even more EMOTIONAL.

Any advise or comments...

by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:18 AM

He sounds like a typical man to me.  Has he always been like this?

Raggedyann_01
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:25 AM

Well he's much better and HANDSY when he's home BUT iv'e only seen the man cry MAYBE 2-3 times MAYBE so he is a pretty tough guy. AND he gets upset when I cry, likes he doesn't know what to do about it or something. But because he can't SHOW me love by touch or feel, I don't SEE any of his LOVE for me. Ya know?? It's all about the kids. Like i'm chopped liver or something.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:41 AM
Women are from Venus and men are from Mars...typical.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:10 AM
How does he seem when he’s home?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:13 AM
10th deployment in 12 yrs! WTH!
4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Not that unusual.


Quoting Anonymous:

10th deployment in 12 yrs! WTH!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Happy I am a woman then. In 12 yrs I've only been deployed 4 times due to sitting out a few for pregnancies.


Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Not that unusual.




Quoting Anonymous:

10th deployment in 12 yrs! WTH!


4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:43 AM
6 moms liked this
Guess you're glad you can be anonymous, too.


Quoting Anonymous:

Happy I am a woman then. In 12 yrs I've only been deployed 4 times due to sitting out a few for pregnancies.




Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Not that unusual.






Quoting Anonymous:

10th deployment in 12 yrs! WTH!



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Raggedyann_01
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:56 AM

yeah, tell me about it...ugh. But i'm supportive, im supportive, im supportive...

cocoroo
by Coco on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:58 AM
4 moms liked this

I wish my dh could have sat out a few for pregnancies, but he can't because he is a man and he does his job.

Quoting Anonymous:

Happy I am a woman then. In 12 yrs I've only been deployed 4 times due to sitting out a few for pregnancies.


Quoting 4ever-SJ:

Not that unusual.




Quoting Anonymous:

10th deployment in 12 yrs! WTH!



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