If a dependent spouse decided to seek counseling off base because she feels her husband who is active duty is being verbally abusive , is the counselor required to report that to the base commander or whoever it is they are supposed to report it to. I'd rather the military not know about it. I'm not trying to ruin my husbands job or reputation. I just need help with this situation. Also if I decided to divorce will it be in my best interest to state verbal abuse as a reason for divorce or can I just leave it as irreconcilable differences. I'm going to need financial help for sure. Thanks for any advice.