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I don't want him to re-up

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

We talked about this the last time. This was supposed to be it. Now he wants to re-up again. He loves his job, I know he does but I have been preparing for the life we were supposed to lead when he gets out because we talked about it. Now he has flipped the script so to speak.

It is his career and I support him, I always have and I will this time as well. I am just really disappointed that he so easily cast aside what we had previously agreed to.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 2, 2013 at 2:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
shiningjoy
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 2:43 PM

how many years does he have in now?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 2, 2013 at 2:45 PM

 He has 8 in.

Quoting shiningjoy:

how many years does he have in now?

 

DvlDogWfe
by Stella on Sep. 2, 2013 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe he was not so sure of the plans outside of the military? Depending on how long he has been in, he may  not be ready for civilian life? Me and my husband do have plans for when he retires, but nothing is set in stone as we both want him to stay in for as long as the military will allow him. Like you said, just support him and soon this life will be over and you all will be ready to start a new one.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Sep. 2, 2013 at 4:52 PM

Yep.  This.

Quoting DvlDogWfe:

Maybe he was not so sure of the plans outside of the military? Depending on how long he has been in, he may  not be ready for civilian life? Me and my husband do have plans for when he retires, but nothing is set in stone as we both want him to stay in for as long as the military will allow him. Like you said, just support him and soon this life will be over and you all will be ready to start a new one.


SlapItHigh
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:48 PM
That's rough. Do you guys have good communication on the subject?
NickLukeandEmma
by Courtney on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:12 AM

 A marriage should be about compromise. Did you have a concrete plan for him getting out? A job lined up? Maybe he is also nervous about providing for your family. The only thing you can do is talk to him and share your feelings and concerns. Try to do it logically and not emotionally.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:10 PM

Im sorry I haven't been back on since posting this. 

Yes we had a plan in place. His family has a successful business that he was going to be part of. They have been in business for over 50 years. 

After talking about it, he finally told me that he has always known he would be working for the family but before he does that, he wants to do something that is all his own. No family name or reputation following him around, just him standing on his own hard work and merit. 

I respect that. I just wish he had told me that to begin with.

Quoting NickLukeandEmma:

 A marriage should be about compromise. Did you have a concrete plan for him getting out? A job lined up? Maybe he is also nervous about providing for your family. The only thing you can do is talk to him and share your feelings and concerns. Try to do it logically and not emotionally.


rosesink
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Keep in mind when he leaves the military you both lose your health care and this economy is really hard to find a job in.  Think about how fast the last 8 years have gone!!! Now consider that in another 12 you and he could have forever health care and a retirement check, granted it is not enough to live off of but he will be young enough to start another career after his retirement. 

chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:56 PM
Only the service member gets healthcare for life through the VA. Tricare offers continued coverage, but it is actually pretty expensive compared to other company plans.

Quoting rosesink:

Keep in mind when he leaves the military you both lose your health care and this economy is really hard to find a job in.  Think about how fast the last 8 years have gone!!! Now consider that in another 12 you and he could have forever health care and a retirement check, granted it is not enough to live off of but he will be young enough to start another career after his retirement. 

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:02 PM

Unless he's disabled a certain percentage - then the family can be covered as well, but the percentage was pretty high from what I remember from the class...  60% - 70%?  I don't know...

The dental stays the same.

Also consider the fact when dh joined, the amount of his retirement check has deminished over the years thanks to Congress.  I think it's 55% of base pay now where it used to be a lot more.  I hate to think what they're going to change it to in 12 years.  There's been talk about giving them nothing until they reach 65.

Don't want to be a downer - but things are changing and are not what they used to be.

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Only the service member gets healthcare for life through the VA. Tricare offers continued coverage, but it is actually pretty expensive compared to other company plans.

Quoting rosesink:

Keep in mind when he leaves the military you both lose your health care and this economy is really hard to find a job in.  Think about how fast the last 8 years have gone!!! Now consider that in another 12 you and he could have forever health care and a retirement check, granted it is not enough to live off of but he will be young enough to start another career after his retirement. 



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