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Any alt/punk/goth military mommas?

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I'm hoping to meet some awesome alt military moms. Post pics, ladies :)
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 3:23 PM
Replies (31-40):
anchorgurl
by Silver Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 7:55 AM

 When we were younger we all probably had trends that we fell into.  I was into the Ralph Lauren thing with the riding boots, blazers, turtlenecks.  And I had a serious problem with twin sets and pearls (can you tell I was a good southern girl?).  I have actually lightened up a lot, but I still love boots and wear them with everything from suits, dresses, and jeans.  I wear more funky stuff like Kors...but if you went into my closet there is still a lot of Ralph.  Oh, and I "invest" in my hair as DH says because I'm a little maniacal about looking good.  One tattoo and it's not visible. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 15, 2013 at 9:57 AM
2 moms liked this

 Interesting post!  Here are my thoughts about the whole "alternative" thing. 

I dress with my own style, I have unique hair, and very different jewelry ( all vintage)  than what the average person would wear. However, no matter how I dress with the clothing in my closet, I could walk down the street any day of the week and be considered a "normal" person. 

I think everyone has their own, individual style.  Pretty much everyone on here is an individual, not a carbon copy of the other.  Just because your differences are not only immediately noticeable but also attention grabbing, doesn't mean those of use who are considered "within" social conventions are less of an individual than you are.  Sometimes I feel that people who dress/alter themselves  in such an extreme manner are just grasping for a unique definition of "self".  To be different. . and that's fine.  But there are MANY MANY ways to express individuality.  Your outward appearance is quite honestly the most cosmetic, easily transformable  thing you can do to define your "sense of self". 

On a day to day basis, I would fit in well in a crowd.  Is that what I was going for?  No. .. but I will wear what I like.  This happens to be what I like.  There is also ANOTHER FACTOR, which I will get into later.  .. 

As far as "dressing appropriately" it's not about appropriate attire, it's about an appropriate ( ie accptable to others) overall appearance.  And quite honestly, if you do NOThave this,  you will offend the more conservative folk.  They will avoid play dates with your kids, neighbors will be leery about you supervising their children, they will not socialize with you, they will not give you a chance. They will view you as an immature person. 

I'm sorry, but it is what it is. Now for the second reason why I choose to have an outward appearance that is widely socially acceptable:    If  I felt the need to have rainbow hair and holes all over my head, I would have to weigh that CHOICE with the consequence of my children suffering for my actions.  You may say they won't, but they will. . . in some way, shape, or form. . . simply because there are small minded people out there who will see your appearance and think negative vice positive.  Then you have people like me, who will NOT judge you, but will avoid you because "those" people would then judge ME for hanging out with you.  And again; its about how my kids and family are viewed. 

Even if I felt rainbow hair and goth clothing was who I was, I wouldn't want to sacrifice how my kids were viewed in school, sports, and amongst their peers. 

It's pretty ugly, but it is what it is.  I've seen this happen for less of an "extreme" look than what you are sporting in your pic.  There's no way my kids would suffer for a choice that would benefit no one but me. 

You all can deny this happens, but I think deep down we all know it does.  So what is the right answer?  To be forced into social norms to spare one's child from any bullying, rejection, rude comments, judging; or to be who you truly are?

There's no right answer, only the right answer for YOU based on your values.  I value how my kids are accepted/viewed over everything, so there you have MY answer. .. .

 


 

Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

I'm not talking about dressing inappropriately. I'm talking about dressing with your own style, or having alt/different style/hair/jewelry.


Quoting cocoroo:

Never for me, because i know how and when to dress properly.



Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

Nice to meet you, ladies :)








Quick question: have any of you gotten negative feedback from coworkers or superiors of your husbands regarding your looks/style?

 

 

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 10:05 AM

I have three colors in my hair, and the red bleeds badly, so for the first 10 days it looks red and pink until the red washes off of the blonde. That is about as funky as I can get, I'm trying to climb the professional ladder. If I was a SAHM I'd probably have more tattoos and wear my hair a little more crazy. 

Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:13 AM

i'm more of a yoga pants and t-shirt type girl. However, i do like to get dressed up so I'm pretty girly.

Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:16 AM

oh, i did have pink highlights in high school though. does that count? and i have ear piercings but the others have all come out, and I have 8 tattoos. I listen to country music mostly...and my hair is my natural color at the moment. And none of my tattoos are too big or exciting. Only one really stands out and it's because of the placement.

TheWorried1
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:53 AM

This means all my family. I like alternative. I really like that new song "Royals" by ? the Lourdes? not sure of band name. U can call me Queen Bee. Yeah. That one.

BubbyAndShmee
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 12:54 PM
That was approximately the most sanctimonious drivel I've read in years. At least anon was straight up about it. The insinuation that I don't care about my child/ren's well-being is frankly silly. You plainly state within your argument that you value acceptance over substance, which is laughable. Personally, I plan to tech my child/ren that happiness is far more important than conformity. If something puts a smile on their face, it's worth doing.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Interesting post!  Here are my thoughts about the whole "alternative" thing. 


I dress with my own style, I have unique hair, and very different jewelry ( all vintage)  than what the average person would wear. However, no matter how I dress with the clothing in my closet, I could walk down the street any day of the week and be considered a "normal" person. 


I think everyone has their own, individual style.  Pretty much everyone on here is an individual, not a carbon copy of the other.  Just because your differences are not only immediately noticeable but also attention grabbing, doesn't mean those of use who are considered "within" social conventions are less of an individual than you are.  Sometimes I feel that people who dress/alter themselves  in such an extreme manner are just grasping for a unique definition of "self".  To be different. . and that's fine.  But there are MANY MANY ways to express individuality.  Your outward appearance is quite honestly the most cosmetic, easily transformable  thing you can do to define your "sense of self". 


On a day to day basis, I would fit in well in a crowd.  Is that what I was going for?  No. .. but I will wear what I like.  This happens to be what I like.  There is also ANOTHER FACTOR, which I will get into later.  .. 


As far as "dressing appropriately" it's not about appropriate attire, it's about an appropriate ( ie accptable to others) overall appearance.  And quite honestly, if you do NOThave this,  you will offend the more conservative folk.  They will avoid play dates with your kids, neighbors will be leery about you supervising their children, they will not socialize with you, they will not give you a chance. They will view you as an immature person. 


I'm sorry, but it is what it is. Now for the second reason why I choose to have an outward appearance that is widely socially acceptable:    If  I felt the need to have rainbow hair and holes all over my head, I would have to weigh that CHOICE with the consequence of my children suffering for my actions.  You may say they won't, but they will. . . in some way, shape, or form. . . simply because there are small minded people out there who will see your appearance and think negative vice positive.  Then you have people like me, who will NOT judge you, but will avoid you because "those" people would then judge ME for hanging out with you.  And again; its about how my kids and family are viewed. 


Even if I felt rainbow hair and goth clothing was who I was, I wouldn't want to sacrifice how my kids were viewed in school, sports, and amongst their peers. 


It's pretty ugly, but it is what it is.  I've seen this happen for less of an "extreme" look than what you are sporting in your pic.  There's no way my kids would suffer for a choice that would benefit no one but me. 


You all can deny this happens, but I think deep down we all know it does.  So what is the right answer?  To be forced into social norms to spare one's child from any bullying, rejection, rude comments, judging; or to be who you truly are?


There's no right answer, only the right answer for YOU based on your values.  I value how my kids are accepted/viewed over everything, so there you have MY answer. .. .


 



 


Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

I'm not talking about dressing inappropriately. I'm talking about dressing with your own style, or having alt/different style/hair/jewelry.



Quoting cocoroo:

Never for me, because i know how and when to dress properly.




Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

Nice to meet you, ladies :)








Quick question: have any of you gotten negative feedback from coworkers or superiors of your husbands regarding your looks/style?


 


 


jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 1:21 PM

There's a difference between being yourself and being an in your face annoyance.  I give you 10 years before you start to see the difference.

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 1:51 PM

I'm not?  I think you meant to quote the op?

Quoting Anonymous:

Don't get all defensive. You cannot deny what I said is true. As far as telling your kids to do what makes them happy.... Go for it. But I'd personally draw the line with something that would negatively impact a loved one, though. Does it not seem that doing what makes YOU happy is a little egotistical? Especially considering the potential effects in regards to your kids.

In a perfect world, the opinions of others would not factor into a child's self image. We all know what reality is.

If I offended you, I apologize. I was merely pointing out reasons why I choose to keep a "normal" appearance.




Quoting jas_momof2:

There's a difference between being yourself and being an in your face annoyance.  I give you 10 years before you start to see the difference.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 15, 2013 at 1:52 PM

 Don't get all defensive. You cannot deny what I said is true. As far as telling your kids to do what makes them happy.... Go for it. But I'd personally draw the line with something that would negatively impact a loved one, though. Does it not seem that doing what makes YOU happy is a little egotistical? Especially considering the potential effects in regards to your kids.

In a perfect world, the opinions of others would not factor into a child's self image. We all know what reality is.

If I offended you, I apologize. I was merely pointing out reasons why I choose to keep a "normal" appearance. 

I honestly fail to see the great importance on having such an extreme appearance?  That's COSMETIC, it's not defining who you are as an individual.  It is merely mangling your exterior.  YOu're the same person inside despite whether you look like a soccer mom or an over-grown rainbow brite doll. The only difference is the soccer mom's kids don't get picked on because of what she looks like. 

 

Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

That was approximately the most sanctimonious drivel I've read in years. At least anon was straight up about it. The insinuation that I don't care about my child/ren's well-being is frankly silly. You plainly state within your argument that you value acceptance over substance, which is laughable. Personally, I plan to tech my child/ren that happiness is far more important than conformity. If something puts a smile on their face, it's worth doing.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Interesting post!  Here are my thoughts about the whole "alternative" thing. 


I dress with my own style, I have unique hair, and very different jewelry ( all vintage)  than what the average person would wear. However, no matter how I dress with the clothing in my closet, I could walk down the street any day of the week and be considered a "normal" person. 


I think everyone has their own, individual style.  Pretty much everyone on here is an individual, not a carbon copy of the other.  Just because your differences are not only immediately noticeable but also attention grabbing, doesn't mean those of use who are considered "within" social conventions are less of an individual than you are.  Sometimes I feel that people who dress/alter themselves  in such an extreme manner are just grasping for a unique definition of "self".  To be different. . and that's fine.  But there are MANY MANY ways to express individuality.  Your outward appearance is quite honestly the most cosmetic, easily transformable  thing you can do to define your "sense of self". 


On a day to day basis, I would fit in well in a crowd.  Is that what I was going for?  No. .. but I will wear what I like.  This happens to be what I like.  There is also ANOTHER FACTOR, which I will get into later.  .. 


As far as "dressing appropriately" it's not about appropriate attire, it's about an appropriate ( ie accptable to others) overall appearance.  And quite honestly, if you do NOThave this,  you will offend the more conservative folk.  They will avoid play dates with your kids, neighbors will be leery about you supervising their children, they will not socialize with you, they will not give you a chance. They will view you as an immature person. 


I'm sorry, but it is what it is. Now for the second reason why I choose to have an outward appearance that is widely socially acceptable:    If  I felt the need to have rainbow hair and holes all over my head, I would have to weigh that CHOICE with the consequence of my children suffering for my actions.  You may say they won't, but they will. . . in some way, shape, or form. . . simply because there are small minded people out there who will see your appearance and think negative vice positive.  Then you have people like me, who will NOT judge you, but will avoid you because "those" people would then judge ME for hanging out with you.  And again; its about how my kids and family are viewed. 


Even if I felt rainbow hair and goth clothing was who I was, I wouldn't want to sacrifice how my kids were viewed in school, sports, and amongst their peers. 


It's pretty ugly, but it is what it is.  I've seen this happen for less of an "extreme" look than what you are sporting in your pic.  There's no way my kids would suffer for a choice that would benefit no one but me. 


You all can deny this happens, but I think deep down we all know it does.  So what is the right answer?  To be forced into social norms to spare one's child from any bullying, rejection, rude comments, judging; or to be who you truly are?


There's no right answer, only the right answer for YOU based on your values.  I value how my kids are accepted/viewed over everything, so there you have MY answer. .. .


 



 


Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

I'm not talking about dressing inappropriately. I'm talking about dressing with your own style, or having alt/different style/hair/jewelry.



Quoting cocoroo:

Never for me, because i know how and when to dress properly.




Quoting BubbyAndShmee:

Nice to meet you, ladies :)








Quick question: have any of you gotten negative feedback from coworkers or superiors of your husbands regarding your looks/style?


 


 


 

 

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