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Military Families Military Families

what would you do?

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:19 PM
  • 41 Replies
My husband is coming home the day (morning) after my brothers wedding. Its a 5 hour drove one way so I decided not to go to the wedding. My brother seems sad about it, but understanding. Our mom on the other hand is blowing this way up. At every turn she is trying to guilt trip me into going. Which would be putting not only myself but my kids under stress of driving down there, doing the wedding and pictures and stuff then driving 5 hours back here the same night to make sure we are here and ready for dh to come home. I would go a day earlier but its in an area where our families only option is to stay in a hotel and I just can't afford that with all the other extras we have for this next pay period. My mom has gone from guilt tripping to being just a bitch about it.

Am I right here about not going or am I being selfish?
by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
violinjewel
by Julia on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:21 PM
I say you're right. You have to do what's right for your family.
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jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:29 PM

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?

SierraLynn
by Just Me on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:36 PM
Because the wedding location is 3 hours away from my parents house. And my brother and his fiance live in a tiny house.

Quoting jas_momof2:

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:39 PM

So, could you stay with them 3 hours away, travel to the wedding together and go home from there? 

Quoting SierraLynn:

Because the wedding location is 3 hours away from my parents house. And my brother and his fiance live in a tiny house.

Quoting jas_momof2:

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?



SierraLynn
by Just Me on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:45 PM
They will be in the town where the wedding is 2 days prior. They are helping setting everything up. I've already gone through all this.
I told my brother that my husband would be home at this timeframe within a week or two back in March. Then they hadn't set the wedding date yet they had jist changed their plans for the wedding for a 2nd time then. I told him when he told me his for sure date that it would be hit or miss. And now that we habe a date for dh, its a miss... he seems okay with it. Said he'd have our dad hold his phone with us on Skype. Its our mom who is freaking out about it. She hates my husband and thinks he is doing this on purpose.


Quoting jas_momof2:

So, could you stay with them 3 hours away, travel to the wedding together and go home from there? 

Quoting SierraLynn:

Because the wedding location is 3 hours away from my parents house. And my brother and his fiance live in a tiny house.



Quoting jas_momof2:

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?


jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:52 PM

I would still go.  Not for your mom though, but for your brother.  But that's me.  Tell mom you can't afford a hotel.  End of story.  Unless she wants to pay for a hotel room for you.  Would you go then?

Quoting SierraLynn:

They will be in the town where the wedding is 2 days prior. They are helping setting everything up. I've already gone through all this.
I told my brother that my husband would be home at this timeframe within a week or two back in March. Then they hadn't set the wedding date yet they had jist changed their plans for the wedding for a 2nd time then. I told him when he told me his for sure date that it would be hit or miss. And now that we habe a date for dh, its a miss... he seems okay with it. Said he'd have our dad hold his phone with us on Skype. Its our mom who is freaking out about it. She hates my husband and thinks he is doing this on purpose.


Quoting jas_momof2:

So, could you stay with them 3 hours away, travel to the wedding together and go home from there? 

Quoting SierraLynn:

Because the wedding location is 3 hours away from my parents house. And my brother and his fiance live in a tiny house.



Quoting jas_momof2:

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?




SierraLynn
by Just Me on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:58 PM
If someone could pay for a hotel room, maybe. My parents can't though, they are recovering from bankruptcy.
Its just a crappy situation all around. .


Quoting jas_momof2:

I would still go.  Not for your mom though, but for your brother.  But that's me.  Tell mom you can't afford a hotel.  End of story.  Unless she wants to pay for a hotel room for you.  Would you go then?

Quoting SierraLynn:

They will be in the town where the wedding is 2 days prior. They are helping setting everything up. I've already gone through all this.

I told my brother that my husband would be home at this timeframe within a week or two back in March. Then they hadn't set the wedding date yet they had jist changed their plans for the wedding for a 2nd time then. I told him when he told me his for sure date that it would be hit or miss. And now that we habe a date for dh, its a miss... he seems okay with it. Said he'd have our dad hold his phone with us on Skype. Its our mom who is freaking out about it. She hates my husband and thinks he is doing this on purpose.




Quoting jas_momof2:

So, could you stay with them 3 hours away, travel to the wedding together and go home from there? 

Quoting SierraLynn:

Because the wedding location is 3 hours away from my parents house. And my brother and his fiance live in a tiny house.





Quoting jas_momof2:

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?



jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Sep. 28, 2013 at 5:02 PM

That's a bummer.  Sounds like you have it covered though with Skype...  Just reiterate the money issue and leave it at that.  Mom's are going to gripe especially if she feels like what you said. 

Quoting SierraLynn:

If someone could pay for a hotel room, maybe. My parents can't though, they are recovering from bankruptcy.
Its just a crappy situation all around. .


Quoting jas_momof2:

I would still go.  Not for your mom though, but for your brother.  But that's me.  Tell mom you can't afford a hotel.  End of story.  Unless she wants to pay for a hotel room for you.  Would you go then?

Quoting SierraLynn:

They will be in the town where the wedding is 2 days prior. They are helping setting everything up. I've already gone through all this.

I told my brother that my husband would be home at this timeframe within a week or two back in March. Then they hadn't set the wedding date yet they had jist changed their plans for the wedding for a 2nd time then. I told him when he told me his for sure date that it would be hit or miss. And now that we habe a date for dh, its a miss... he seems okay with it. Said he'd have our dad hold his phone with us on Skype. Its our mom who is freaking out about it. She hates my husband and thinks he is doing this on purpose.




Quoting jas_momof2:

So, could you stay with them 3 hours away, travel to the wedding together and go home from there? 

Quoting SierraLynn:

Because the wedding location is 3 hours away from my parents house. And my brother and his fiance live in a tiny house.





Quoting jas_momof2:

I would go.  That's my brother (if I had a brother) and that's his special wedding day.  Could you go a day early and stay with your mom overnight?  Why is a hotel your only option?





chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Sep. 28, 2013 at 5:03 PM
I had to make a similar decision, except it was a funeral. I decided that it wasn't the end of the world for DH to get back from deployment and settle into being home a few days without me. I was in Wisconsin when he got back to Ft Hood. I missed his homecoming, but ... not really, know what I mean? We still had a happy reunion when I got back. Not a big deal.
SierraLynn
by Just Me on Sep. 28, 2013 at 5:08 PM
one of the extra expenses for October os to get DH a battery for his truck and to get it registerd for CO. So if I go and spend that on a hotel he won't even have his truck till November.

I should add that dh's homecoming is not the only reason I've decided not to go. It would be a financial strain on us.


Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

I had to make a similar decision, except it was a funeral. I decided that it wasn't the end of the world for DH to get back from deployment and settle into being home a few days without me. I was in Wisconsin when he got back to Ft Hood. I missed his homecoming, but ... not really, know what I mean? We still had a happy reunion when I got back. Not a big deal.
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