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Military Families Military Families

recruiting duty is a lot tougher than I thought :(

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:18 AM
  • 12 Replies
Anyone else have their SO on recruiting duty? It sucks. My husband has only been on it for 2 months (Marines) and I'm already so frustrated with it. On top of it, We have a 1 month old son that I feel like I'm raising by myself. I didn't take it seriously when he warned me before he started recruiting that it's said to be really tough on relationships and a lot of families don't make it through recruiting. I thought that there's no way it's THAT bad, i mean, it's not like a deployment! But oh was i wrong. :( It blows. Anyone else been through this? Any advice/tips on getting through these 3 years of recruiting? :/
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sahmw2010
by Beth on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this
No clue on recruiting since got put on drill sgt duty, but i hear its worse then DS, and this sucks too. Treat it like a deployment, hobbies, stay busy. Oh yea, dont plan family events. Plan activities for u and kids, if hubby gets to join, awesome, if not, dont wait for him, or u will never do anything
marinemami07
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Hello

I can totally understand what & how your feeling! My hubby just finished recruiting 2 years ago. It was tough! But if you'd like I can tell you a few things to get through it. Where are you at or he's recruiting from? Hang in there. I would have a lot to say......so just let me know if your ready to hear it all!  Good luck!

dearestrachy
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Thank you! He's recruiting in CT. And I'd love to hear everything and anything you can say! Lol


Quoting marinemami07:

Hello


I can totally understand what & how your feeling! My hubby just finished recruiting 2 years ago. It was tough! But if you'd like I can tell you a few things to get through it. Where are you at or he's recruiting from? Hang in there. I would have a lot to say......so just let me know if your ready to hear it all!  Good luck!


DvlDogWfe
by Stella on Oct. 2, 2013 at 1:19 PM
1 mom liked this
I was there too. Although I can say we did not have kids at that time and I had my own job and friends. Having a newborn I'm sure, is only adding extra stress to the situation. Find some groups to join to meet some people and live your life. Don't stay home waiting for your husband.
Soniam301
by Sonia on Oct. 2, 2013 at 1:19 PM
Been there, done that! I'd rather my husband deploy than ever go through it again.
soulshine708
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 3:36 PM

My husband has been a recruiter in the Army since July. We had our second child in August. The oldest is 3. This is the farthest we've been from family (22 hours). (Just throwing that out there because I'm really close to my parents. My Mom is disabled and before I could travel home once a month to help out my Dad.) At first we were told no work after 5pm unless he has an appointment to meet with someone that works during normal business hours. The first few weeks were great. Home by 6pm every night. The last few weeks have included several long days. When he was regular Army he wasn't getting home until 7 or 8. This is still better than that. My husband love what he's doing. He hasn't had to deal with the "everybody wants to be the boss" issue so far. If he's told to do something, others aren't telling him to do something different. He did have to work Saturday as well and didn't get comp time for it. They have to put in 9 volunteer hours per quarter so Saturday counted toward that. I guess we both like it so far, other than not being able to help out my Dad. I'm ok to just be at home with my girls. If we need to get out of the house, we can always go to the park or the library. The one thing that I've noticed that is really different than before is the lack of off duty interaction among the soldiers. It might not be like that everywhere. I'm ok with this as I don't do well meeting new people. We are looking at this as a positive experience and hope to enjoy the next 3 years. I hope your family can get settled into a routine that works for all of you. Best wishes!

SlapItHigh
by Platinum Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Sorry mama :(.  I have heard a lot of recruiting horror stories. I hope things get better.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:20 PM


Quoting SlapItHigh:

Sorry mama :(.  I have heard a lot of recruiting horror stories. I hope things get better.


JamieC0403
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 7:57 PM

I feel ya.  We're about three months in also with the Marines and with a two year old. It truly does suck.  My husband is still struggling with getting contracts and isn't getting much guidance from his higher ups. He's sort of hoping to get sent back to his old job before his eval period is up, but he's worried that without the successful B billet he won't get promoted again. 

Its a crappy situation all around.  He's stressed and grumpy, I'm stressed and overwhelmed, and the kid is constantly asking for Daddy. We try making time on Sundays when he is off. 

I'm hoping once he starts writting contracts it'll get better. (We had the fun of my SO getting deployed when our son was one month; that part gets easier as the baby gets older and you find a rhythm.)

marinemami07
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:27 AM

Well looks like a lot of ppl have been there & pretty much said what I was going to. Its hard, not gonna lie. My hubby & I separated over it! Still lived in the same house tho, just diff bedrooms. Not to scare you, but we just didn't know how to handle it. Looking back, we are proud we made it through.

I'd say to just be compassionate to your hubby, its very stressful on him. Working long hrs with dumb people, lots of talking, driving, working on Saturday's, it sucks. Do you think he actually likes it? Prolly not like most guys, but just doing it bc it looks good for their career. Mine didn't wanna come home & talk after doing it all day at high schools, so I felt like crap bc he didn't talk, just came home, ate dinner & layed on the couch & fell asleep.

But just try to keep in mind what he's doing for you, us & this country. It sucks, but it does pay off. Keep home just that............home. His nice, cozy, stress free place to fall. He needs that. Not a bunch of confusion when he comes home. We knew many couples who did split up for good over it bc they just couldn't communicate during it. She didn't understand him & vice versa.

Once my hubby & I found our common ground again, & agreed to just be nice to each other & understand this is only temp, it got much better.

Do the regular wifey things he likes, I always made dinner, ate alone half the time, but dinner was always there, in the fridge for him on those really late nites. Its the little things for us that made it better. Not saying it'll work for all couples, but for us, I think we are pretty traditional, (puerto rican) family. I just made my hubby feel like everything at home was normal, when work life was crazy, dumb & sometimes just out of control. I even make brownies, cupcakes or banana bread for his office & would take it in to them often. I think it just lifted the whole place!  Just little things!

Good luck to anyone in it right now! Just surround yourself with good positive ppl & stay busy & make home that nice place to come home to for hubby. I swear it'll make a ton of difference! When he's stressed & didn't write enough contracts, or none at all or he's not selected for recruiter of the month or whatever, just make him feel like at home, he's amazing! Lol (Sometimes we gotta do that for our men!)

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