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Military Families Military Families

Did you hear about the graves at Arlington?

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:01 PM
  • 11 Replies

There is a rule at Arlington that you cannot leave mementos at the grave sites.  They have been looking the other way in the section where Iraq and Afghanistan service members have been laid to rest, but this week they went though and removed everything and are now enforcing the rule.

http://photoblog.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/09/20884009-arlington-graves-stripped-of-personal-mementos-in-controversial-cleanup?lite

Do you think the representatives of Arlington National Cemetery was right or wrong?

Me personally, I have always hated the "litter" in graveyards: deteriorating mementos, wilted bouquets, and such.  Same goes for make-shift roadside memorials.  My husband knows my feelings, and teases that if I die in a roadside crash, the first thing he will do is erect a tacky roadside cross for me covered in fading fake flowers and water-logged stuffed animals.   I realize that is just my opinion though, and for many, leaving momentos is a way for them to feel closer to their loved ones, and we all grieve in different ways...but on the other hand, I think that in Arlington, they have their service members buried there knowing the rules...and that many cemeteries have the same rules.

by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:07 PM
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As they should.  They knew full well how the National Cemetery operates.  If they wanted to make it personal, they should have chosen to have them buried elsewhere.


chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:13 PM

I agree. There should not be personal items at National Cemeteries. I thought it was customary to leave coins, not personal items.

Quoting jas_momof2:

As they should.  They knew full well how the National Cemetary operates.  If they wanted to make it personal, they should have chosen to have them buried elsewhere.


.oOMellyOo.
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this

When you go though Arlington you'll notice coins and rocks atop some of the graves. The caretakers usually don't bother them unless they fall off in which case they will retrieve the coins (goes to the fund for the upkeep) and the rocks well they're just rocks. I however have never liked faded flowers, rotting stuffed animals or other stuff adorning a grave. And I agree with you with the roadside memorials, I find them tacky along with the stickers people put on their cars. Why are people "outraged" over them enforcing the rules..... somethings I will never understand.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:34 PM

I can understand that the cemetery needs to keep it neat and clean, heck they get millions of visitors each year. However, I believe loved ones should be able to leave small items or pics stuck to the head stones. It makes them feel better and some how deal with the death.

Last year, we went and I saw a wife laying on her husband grave, reading to him and showing him pictures of their daughter. My heart broke for her. I was standing next to my Soldier, while she was laying on her Soldiers grave. I know if it had been me, I would want to be allowed to leave small items on my husband headstone. But, my husband will never be buried there if anything ever happens to him. He will be placed at his families cemetery, that they own.

mlogsdon
by Mary on Oct. 10, 2013 at 5:02 PM
I understand the reasoning behind it, and some of them did look really bad, but it's a tough situation. To remove every little thing is a bit harsh I think, coins and rocks aren't much. The empty liquor bottles I saw in some pictures were not ok, though. There is no way to keep everyone happy, everyone grieves in their own way.
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 10, 2013 at 7:08 PM

I agree here.

Quoting jas_momof2:

As they should.  They knew full well how the National Cemetery operates.  If they wanted to make it personal, they should have chosen to have them buried elsewhere.


sleepy_in_va
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 7:17 PM


Quoting darbyakeep45:

I agree here.

Quoting jas_momof2:

As they should.  They knew full well how the National Cemetery operates.  If they wanted to make it personal, they should have chosen to have them buried elsewhere.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2013 at 10:33 PM
That made my cry :(
Quoting Anonymous:

I can understand that the cemetery needs to keep it neat and clean, heck they get millions of visitors each year. However, I believe loved ones should be able to leave small items or pics stuck to the head stones. It makes them feel better and some how deal with the death.

Last year, we went and I saw a wife laying on her husband grave, reading to him and showing him pictures of their daughter. My heart broke for her. I was standing next to my Soldier, while she was laying on her Soldiers grave. I know if it had been me, I would want to be allowed to leave small items on my husband headstone. But, my husband will never be buried there if anything ever happens to him. He will be placed at his families cemetery, that they own.

anchorgurl
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 7:24 AM

 I agree as well. 

Quoting sleepy_in_va:



Quoting darbyakeep45:

I agree here.

Quoting jas_momof2:

As they should.  They knew full well how the National Cemetery operates.  If they wanted to make it personal, they should have chosen to have them buried elsewhere.


 

TheWorried1
by Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 4:15 PM

I can see both side of this.  I own a graveyard/cemetery in my decendents home toen. I love 2 decorate at Memorial Day, Their birthdays, Christmas.  Here's the down side.  The maintainence care taker of the place has 2 move all thew "stuff" 2 make the place pretty.  By pretty, I mean well maintained, trimmed & just well taken care of in general. I'd rather have a nice looking cemetery than 1 that looks cluttered, due 2 high winds, or stupid kids, rummaging through and ruining things.  We've had kids knock down Civil War tower monuments, that'd take a crane 2 pick back up. I don't even know HOW 2 fix that problem.confused

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