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Military Families Military Families

I'm new to this..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Hello ladies, My fiance has decided that he wants to join the military & I was just wondering if you could let me know what I'm in for. First off, benifits. What kind of benifits do the familes get & are the benifits the same for every branch? Which branch is more "Family friendly" if there even is one. I have a son from a previous relationship, How would that work? Any advice or Anything yall could tell me would be helpful. Thank you(:

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 1, 2013 at 8:42 PM
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jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Dec. 1, 2013 at 9:11 PM
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Check out some of the sticky posts at the top of this group.  There's a lot of information in there that can help.  Also, if you do a search within this group, there are several posts that talk about children from previous relationships and how the military MAY play a part in you having to stay behind.

I wouldn't say any one branch is more family friendly than another.  Life is based on the mission - not the family.

chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Dec. 1, 2013 at 9:28 PM
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I'm not sure if any branch is family friendly. Military service doesn't really have anything to do with the family. Mission first.

You will need a solid custody agreement with the father of your child. You will also need his permission to move the child. If you already have a custody agreement, you will likely need to modify it to reflect a new visitation schedule. Ideally, this will go smoothly with the father, but if not, prepare for what course of action you want to take. Do you want to take it to court or would you rather stay behind and live separately from your husband? Both options can be financially difficult.

In any case, let us know if you have specific questions!
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Dec. 2, 2013 at 5:06 AM

Welcome!  These ladies have some great advice...good luck!

sleepy_in_va
by Silver Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Welcome to the group! I agree that the ladies in here gave some great advice. And I definetly agree about no one branch being more family friendly than another branch.

There is a saying in the Marine Corps that says "if a Marine was ment to have a family, he would have been issued one" Dh was active duty Marine for 4 years, we still had plenty of family time but we still also were away from eachother a lot. But that is to be expected in any branch.
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gunsgirl
by Silver Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:38 AM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Hello ladies, My fiance has decided that he wants to join the military & I was just wondering if you could let me know what I'm in for. First off, benifits. What kind of benifits do the familes get & are the benifits the same for every branch? Which branch is more "Family friendly" if there even is one. I have a son from a previous relationship, How would that work? Any advice or Anything yall could tell me would be helpful. Thank you(:

the benefits are the same for all branches:

they are medical that has no premiums and very little out of pocket costs

dental that is for a fee based on family size

access to base activities, commissary, exchange, legal, gym, pools ect

there are no branches that are completely family friendly; IMO all of them have the ideal that if they wanted you to have a family they would have issued the member one in BCT.

there are command leaders that can be more family friendly, but the needs of the service will always come before family; this means they can and will miss birthdays, Holidays, anniversaries, births, deaths, funerals.

they can call the member off from leave, regardless of where the member is on leave. they change schedules last minute, change deployment dates, return dates, duty rotation dates all with very little or no notice

 

as for your child: the courts do not care that he is military, if your court ordered custody agreement does not state you can leave the state without going back to court, you are going to have to fight the dad to leave, if he is paying child support and has set visitation that he uses consistantly - the judge can deny you the ability to move with your new husband.
get a good lawyer--it may become very expensive to fight him.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 2, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Thank you ladies, so much! I'm really nervous about all of this but my son has a lot of very expensive health problems so it's nice to know that he'll be taken care of.
jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Dec. 2, 2013 at 12:27 PM

Is your fiance the father?  If not, there are stipulations and Tricare might not cover him...

Quoting Anonymous: Thank you ladies, so much! I'm really nervous about all of this but my son has a lot of very expensive health problems so it's nice to know that he'll be taken care of.



chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Dec. 2, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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Well, hopefully the benefits aren't the reason he is joining because benefits can change. Your child's expensive health care issues may or may not be covered. It really depends on other factors. 

Quoting Anonymous: Thank you ladies, so much! I'm really nervous about all of this but my son has a lot of very expensive health problems so it's nice to know that he'll be taken care of.


gunsgirl
by Silver Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 12:46 PM
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step children as long as they reside in the military members home more than 6 months a year will fully qualify for medical and dental benefits without limits.

however: having a special needs child will keep you from moving overseas with your DH ( after marriage) and can making moving to some bases difficult as not all bases in all branches are located near major medical centers.

for AF the child will be what is called "Q coded; meaning no overseas  or OCONUS location.

for the navy and Marines Special needs are done by catagory 1 - 5 5 being the highest, ( most special needs)

for the CG you are either SN or not and each case and where they move is done on a case by case basis.

but when on SN it is virtually impossible to just "pick" where you want to go because they will move you to where they think you will get the best care, even if it means driving more than an hour to get there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 2, 2013 at 1:32 PM
My son has asthma and permanent lung damage from when he was younger. He just requires a lot of treatments. He gets sick easier than other kids. That's about it.
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