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I need an uplift.

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 6:49 AM
  • 14 Replies

I never post here, but I'm in need of an uplift.   Deployment is coming to an end.  Of all the ports, my husband has been full of excuses as to why he hasn't called or skyped.  No phone calls from the ship like he used to, either.  Lots of broken promises to my son and I.  I've been very hurt, but I've brushed the past 8+ months off my shoulder, keeping my eye on homecoming and staying strong.  Well, he just got to Hawaii.  I was so excited because he could use his own cell phone and have a better chance at connecting to wifi for Skype what with him being in the US again. He Managed to blow away all of our money, but he didn't call.  Just short of jumping down his throat, I calmly asked for a truthful explaination via email..... But given the experience of the past 8 months, I will have a hard time believing anything he says.  At the very least, couldn't he have borrowed a phone?  It's been so hard seeing friends talk about how much they've been on the phone with their husbands and fathers of their children.  I'm tore up inside.  I've dedicated 100% to a lifestyle I don't like with my head held high to support the man I love.  My head is low today and I feel like I'm not even worth a five minute phone call.  It hurts me, but most of all I hurt for my son.  I came here in hopes that someone can offer a word of advice that will stick with me through these last few days... Help me heal, and keep me enthusiastic and confident about homecoming.  This is my 4th deployment. He has been normal in emails, but when he hits port, it seems we are only in his life at his convenience.  Thanks for reading 

by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 6:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sleepy_in_va
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:12 AM
Oh sweetie I have no advice. Here is a (((hug))) for you though! Hang in there.
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gogetem
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:16 AM

I could use one of those, too. :) thank you!

Quoting sleepy_in_va: Oh sweetie I have no advice. Here is a (((hug))) for you though! Hang in there.


sun3029
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:21 AM
So sorry to hear that. Its hard not getting to communicate and keep in touch. . Like you said Stay
strong for him and your son and keep your eye on homecoming. Hang in there!! Hugs and prayers coming your way!!

Quoting gogetem:

I never post here, but I'm in need of an uplift.   Deployment is coming to an end.  Of all the ports, my husband has been full of excuses as to why he hasn't called or skyped.  No phone calls from the ship like he used to, either.  Lots of broken promises to my son and I.  I've been very hurt, but I've brushed the past 8+ months off my shoulder, keeping my eye on homecoming and staying strong.  Well, he just got to Hawaii.  I was so excited because he could use his own cell phone and have a better chance at connecting to wifi for Skype what with him being in the US again. He Managed to blow away all of our money, but he didn't call.  Just short of jumping down his throat, I calmly asked for a truthful explaination via email..... But given the experience of the past 8 months, I will have a hard time believing anything he says.  At the very least, couldn't he have borrowed a phone?  It's been so hard seeing friends talk about how much they've been on the phone with their husbands and fathers of their children.  I'm tore up inside.  I've dedicated 100% to a lifestyle I don't like with my head held high to support the man I love.  My head is low today and I feel like I'm not even worth a five minute phone call.  It hurts me, but most of all I hurt for my son.  I came here in hopes that someone can offer a word of advice that will stick with me through these last few days... Help me heal, and keep me enthusiastic and confident about homecoming.  This is my 4th deployment. He has been normal in emails, but when he hits port, it seems we are only in his life at his convenience.  Thanks for reading 

sleepy_in_va
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:25 AM
You are welcome! Stay strong for your son.

Quoting gogetem:

I could use one of those, too. :) thank you!

Quoting sleepy_in_va: Oh sweetie I have no advice. Here is a (((hug))) for you though! Hang in there.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ReadWriteLuv
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this

I'd be more pissed about him blowing the bank account than not calling. THAT deserves an explanation. I've been on both sides of the no-communication coin. There are a dozen reasons that he may not have had the time or means to call. I wouldn't jump on that. The wait for the phone on the ship can be 2 plus hours. If it's between getting some sleep after a 16 hour day, or waiting two hours for the phone, I'd rather he sleep, honestly. And you got e-mails, that is more than the sub wives get. 

gogetem
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:54 AM

I'm definitely upset about that, too.  As for no communication, I could deal with not talking to him... What I'm having a hard time with is that is he fully capable and still chooses not to do so.  I'm a very half glass full kind of person, so this is very out of character for me.  Sparing all the details and keeping that in mind, I'm unfortunately justified and being logical. I wish I wasn't because I could point the finger at myself and I would feel a lot better. 

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I'd be more pissed about him blowing the bank account than not calling. THAT deserves an explanation. I've been on both sides of the no-communication coin. There are a dozen reasons that he may not have had the time or means to call. I wouldn't jump on that. The wait for the phone on the ship can be 2 plus hours. If it's between getting some sleep after a 16 hour day, or waiting two hours for the phone, I'd rather he sleep, honestly. And you got e-mails, that is more than the sub wives get. 


RhondaJ
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 3:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry that happened.  I know how hard long deployments can be.  It makes your mind think of so many things as to why he has not called.  I think everything will be alright when he gets home.  He does have some explaining to do as to why he went through the money like that.  Good luck and I hope he gets home soon and safe.  Here is a hug. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Dec. 4, 2013 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Hugs mama!  My husband is submarine Navy so when he's deployed we get nothing....more or less.  Emails never seem to work, and port calls are rare.  I honestly have no idea what it's like to communicate with your husband when they are gone.  It's like my life goes on but his stops.  It's weird.  I would definitely be upset about the bank account though.  Hugs!

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Dec. 4, 2013 at 7:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Uplifting...uplifting...uplifting...hmmm....

It was a nice and sunny day today!  When the sun is shining everything is great!


(did that help?  I'm not good with this sort of thing, but wish you well)

barrelracer1699
by Chel on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:33 AM

I know when my husband was deployed it was harder on us to actually hear from him. Made us miss him more, and him miss us more. 

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