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Navy deployment help?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

I just recently started seeing this guy who is in the navy reserves. It's just the beginning of relationship like (2 months) and he's gettin ready to deploy on a hospital ship. So contact right now is kinda limited plus I know not to give specifics to anyone. So I was wondering anyone here have experience with the hospital ship deployments? I didn't get a chance to ask how long I just know where. I know they can vary in length but was looking for like a estimate. I know about writing and sending packages but how do you keep in contact with sailors? Do they have access to email on the ship? Can they use their cell phones at port (he has an iphone). He keeps apologizing for leaving when we're just starting to build our relationship. I keep telling him its okay it's his job and I support him and will be waiting on him to get back. I'm pretty down about it but I don't want to tell him to worry about me but also I don't want him to think I don't care for not telling him. Please any help, advice, etc?


Thanks! 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 11, 2014 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Siare
by Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 12:43 PM

Don't stress him out when he's deployed. It's already tough and neither of you need any additional stress. Be there for him as much as you can. Send him packages as you can, letters, notes, etc. Anything to keep in contact. If he can Skype, do that.

RKL10
by Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 12:48 PM
My husbands best friend is on a ship and he can email there are times where the ship is secured so he can't respond but I'm not sure how a hospital ship works.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2014 at 7:03 PM

thanks for some info :)

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 11, 2014 at 7:26 PM

My husband is Navy, but submarines.  As far as ships go, you should be able to email him, but I don't know anything about sending mail or phone calls.  Good luck!

TAG9lbs
by Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 8:11 PM

No one can give you specifics even if he wanted too he probably can't. Be thankful he trusted you enough to say where he is going cause he isn't suppose to do that. He might have been told he is only going for 6 months (usually the minimum) but they often extend them. Just tell yourself a year (max i have ever seen one go out) and it will feel 10X better when he returns sooner. The best thing you can do is send a letter once a week telling about your day what you hope for the future how much you enjoy a tree whatever tickles your fancy. 

Keep in mind a letter mailed can only be read by him. E-mails are preveiwed by someone else for security purposes. That means whatever you put in an e-mail and confide in him will potentially be read by 10 other guys.

He most likely will be able to get e-mails everyday, but the majority of relationships i have seen fail is because there is an emergency and the ships outside contact is shut down for 2 days or a month and (i'm not saying you) the female often freaks out when she gets use to getting an e-mail everyday and then there is no immediate response for several days. 

Feel free to include pictures of maybe the beach you shared together in a letter. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:31 AM

That's ridiculous.  Submarine wives get next to no contact at all...no phones, no letters, and we're lucky to get an email or two the entire time they are gone.  We come to expect nothing when they are gone, and if we get anything at all, it's a huge surprise.  That's the way to be in my opinion.  

The relationships you're talking about weren't real to begin with if the spouse/SO is willing to let something out of the guy's control cost them the relationship.

Quoting TAG9lbs:

No one can give you specifics even if he wanted too he probably can't. Be thankful he trusted you enough to say where he is going cause he isn't suppose to do that. He might have been told he is only going for 6 months (usually the minimum) but they often extend them. Just tell yourself a year (max i have ever seen one go out) and it will feel 10X better when he returns sooner. The best thing you can do is send a letter once a week telling about your day what you hope for the future how much you enjoy a tree whatever tickles your fancy. 

Keep in mind a letter mailed can only be read by him. E-mails are preveiwed by someone else for security purposes. That means whatever you put in an e-mail and confide in him will potentially be read by 10 other guys.

He most likely will be able to get e-mails everyday, but the majority of relationships i have seen fail is because there is an emergency and the ships outside contact is shut down for 2 days or a month and (i'm not saying you) the female often freaks out when she gets use to getting an e-mail everyday and then there is no immediate response for several days. 

Feel free to include pictures of maybe the beach you shared together in a letter. 


TAG9lbs
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 11:09 AM

I like your advice I think she should expect nothing for the next 6 months to a year and be thrilled if she gets any contact. Doesn't mean she shouldn't still be encouraged to write letters. 

I could argue it either way maybe the relationships were developed under false expectations to begin with so they wouldn't have lasted anyway or the lack of communication with military relationships in the 1940s and 1980s helped grow a relationship out of curiosity even if it wasn't ment to be. I think the worst part with military relationships is the same person doesn't always come back. Every situation is different.

Since it is a medical ship there is a slim chance it is going to a combat area. There are also a lot of high ranks on there that know how to demand certain privilages and are often given them to communicate with their loved ones. So I think it will help sustain an early relationship to communicate as little as possible and expect limited communication ability. 

I also wouldn't mind argueing the differences of the engineers on a medical ship versus any other military ship due to such privilages but I doubt those should be made so public.

Quoting darbyakeep45:

That's ridiculous.  Submarine wives get next to no contact at all...no phones, no letters, and we're lucky to get an email or two the entire time they are gone.  We come to expect nothing when they are gone, and if we get anything at all, it's a huge surprise.  That's the way to be in my opinion.  

The relationships you're talking about weren't real to begin with if the spouse/SO is willing to let something out of the guy's control cost them the relationship.

Quoting TAG9lbs:

He most likely will be able to get e-mails everyday, but the majority of relationships i have seen fail is because there is an emergency and the ships outside contact is shut down for 2 days or a month and (i'm not saying you) the female often freaks out when she gets use to getting an e-mail everyday and then there is no immediate response for several days.  



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2014 at 8:05 PM

I don't expect anything back every day or anything. I just wanted to know about contacting him to let him know I care about him and if he needed anything I'd be more than happy to send it. I told him I'd be here waiting on him whenever he gets back and we will pick up where things left off and I am going to do it.

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