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My husband is currently stationed at FT. Carson and we recently found out my mom is very sick. Her doctor has asked if I could home when the time comes so that she can receive in home hospice care, there needs to be an adult present but my dad works all day and my sister isn't mentally capable. My dh spoke to his Sgt., whom said that he could take family tragedy leave or whatever and just to talk to him when the time comes but I'm trying to be prepared on this. Can anyone tell me anything about time off for family tragedy? They're saying it will be at least a few months, before she needs it but I'm wondering will he be allowed anytime to help or does it only apply if the worst happens? He can't really take his leave time because we don't know when it will get that bad, I just don't know how it works, how much time he gets, or what qualifies, like will it be a problem that it is my mom, his mil even if they're close? Like I said, I'm just trying to prepare so that we can focus on my mom instead of all the stress of getting home and all, plus It's not immediate or scheduled, were not sure how long we have to think.
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 4:16 PM
Replies (21-22):
by Melissa on Mar. 20, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Well I can say our family member was in hospice care, then had a funeral, and none of those entities had anything to do with the RC. In addition, we did make the initial call and the Red Cross gave me the info I gave the OP. If the OP calls, the info I gave her would be what she would need to get a RC message to her husbands command and get the ball rolling. I know this from first hand experience- not because 'I know someone who did that'. It's extremely frustrating to be questioned on something over and over again. 

Quoting sahmw2010: Im sorry, but when you replied to my add on for the OP saying you did not need any of that, i had assumed that you had started it. And yes i have had military members call and start a message so they can, just rare. And since she said she will be the one taking care of her mother, most likely in the end, she may be the one who will start it since she was the caregiver. I was just trying to give her additional info. I was not saying you were wrong. Just got confused when you said you didnt need that, and it, to me, sounded like you were the ones that called. Since you did not, the. No, you wouldnt need that
Quoting USAFamily:

Seriously?? I'm sorry but I gave you ALL the information we had. YOU cannot call the red cross- your family member does and then they have to call the military installation to get in touch with you and make arrangements. *WE* didn't call anyone. We gave my sister the information she needed to call the Red Cross before my Father in Law died. As the service member there is nothing you can do on your end. It's all done through the contact and the RC and your command. I'm sorry if I wasn't more clear earlier.

Quoting sahmw2010: Did you call ir another family member? Sorry, i meant the person who calls should have that info and the patient or patient's advocate will need ti sign a release form so RC can confirm.
Quoting USAFamily:

No, we didn't do anything. It was 3 in the morning and they got stuff done for us, along with our command and the hospital. The patient may need to sign a release- I'm not sure why we would anyway? 

Quoting sahmw2010: You didnt have to sign a release form for the doctor to send the fax? RC only confirms "yes that doctor works there, yes there is a patient by that name there, and if terminal, expected life expectancy. HOWEVER, since national has taken over all the incomming calls and having to verify, they may have changed it. Now the only thing we can do is deliver the message to the command and then follow up with family
Quoting USAFamily: We didn't need any of that (this was last August) The dr had to fax something to the Red Cross, but that was it. It was very quick. From start to finish it took 5 hours and we had plane tickets home.
Quoting sahmw2010: Also the Rc will need info on hospic or funeral director to confirm what you are calling about. So have names and numbers on those involved. And yes hippa is a bitch so you have to sign a waiver. I was that red crosser took the calls and had to verify
Quoting USAFamily:

We just went through this. If your mom is on her death bed and has a doctor to confirm it, then you need to have a family member call the Red Cross and the Red Cross will contact his First Sgt. There will need to be a doctor on hand to speak with the Red Cross directly to confirm your situation. Then arrangements will be made between the First Sgt and your husband for leave and how to get you all home. It will not be months unless your husband has months to spare. We had 2 weeks. 

Here is the info you need for the Red Cross. 

The American Red Cross Emergency Communications Center is available to help 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Call (877) 272-7337 (toll-free) if you are currently, or if you are calling about:

When calling the Red Cross, be prepared to provide as much of the following information about the service member as is known:

  • Full legal name
  • Rank/rating
  • Branch of service (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard)
  • Social Security number
  • Date of birth
  • Military unit address
  • Information about the deployed unit and home base unit (for deployed service members only)

by Courtney on Mar. 20, 2014 at 3:05 PM
3 moms liked this

I sent a Red Cross message for my husband to be able to come to my grandma's funeral last summer. I needed to know all of the things about my husband (the service member) and they also asked for the information (phone number, name, case worker) for hospice and then also information about the funeral home where her service was going to be at. I made sure I had all of it before I called because I wanted to be prepared. 

When the Red Cross called the funeral home they wouldn't release the information they wanted until they had gotten permission from my aunt (who was next of kin). When I talked to the Red Cross, they were amazing by the way, they kept telling me that the more information I could give them the easier it would be to get things processed. They probably could have found out the contact information if I had just known the names of the places but it would have taken longer.

Good luck!

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