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I just wanna slap her sometimes.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
I have a best friend, she's awesome but her and her husband have a questionable marriage. I feel like every time we talk she's got some kind of a bitxh about her husband, oh he didn't do this today, he fell asleep when he got home from work today, he only texted me from work twice today and blah blah blah, stupid petty things for the most part. For one it's the most irritating thing in the world listening to her constantly complain, if you're that unhappy tell him to shape his shit up and do something about it. Don't drag the kids with you on the weekends, tell him he's watching the kids and just go. But two, when my husband left for six months it actually started to upset me. I know it's trivial, but all you do is complain about your husband and tell him to leave you alone cuz your mad or whatnot, and here I would give anything for five minutes with my husband, you complain about him not calling you enough while he's at work, I've vigilantly got my phone on me and on loud at all times at the small chance he'll get to call me once in a blue moon. I want to tell her to just shut-up but I don't want to sound as bitxhy as I feel. How do you deal with complaining friends who just don't get it?

**Update**
So when she called today, about our kids play date later and to tell me her husband will be home late again, I told her that i have a lot of stress right now and would appreciate if she could be more positive. She told
me that I'm being selfish and the world doesn't revolve around me. That just because my husband is away doesn't mean that her life is suddenly perfect. I thought I was being polite, but f@$k that. I hung up and really am not in the mood. I'm supposed to go over there for a kids play date tonight but I'm over it. I bend over backwards for her, to watch her kids, help her out financially and act as her venting booth constantly, but I'm the selfish one. Totally makes sense.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:17 PM
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Replies (1-9):
mnkymommy08
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:26 PM
Maybe you could just try talking to her about it? If she really is a friend she will understand and try not to do it as much.
twinkersmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:32 PM

You just have to keep being the strong tough woman you are. She may never get it. I see it like this. You wouldn't be in that position if God knew you couldn't do it. Obviously she couldn't do it. Maybe she has some jealousy towards you because you ARE strong? You may have to say something like "well I can't really feel sorry for you today.... hubs is...." Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I get what you are going through. My sil can't do a damn thing without anyone and does not appreciate anything that is done for her. Take a break from her now and then. Or if it is really bothering you, you may have to just cut ties with her. You are tough and can take her whininess but you shouldn't have to. If she's a friend, she needs to let you vent sometimes. I hope that helps. Good luck.

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:44 PM

She's looking to you to vent her frustrations - much like what you're doing here...  If you can't handle it, tell her.

marinemami07
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:59 PM
Yea just tell her & put some distance between you two for a little bit. She'll get it. I had that same issue with a woman I knew & I told my hubby about. He said she prolly needed a women to vent to, but everything she said I had nothing to say! Well positive anyway! I listened till I couldn't take it anymore, then just stopped talking to her.
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:29 PM

Yep.  These ladies have the right advice.  She's just venting to a friend.  If it really bothers you, then tell her.  She can't read your mind.

mom2jessnky
by Dedi on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:37 PM

I don't typically associate with people who are negative all the time. If she's complaining here and there, she just needs someone to vent to. If it's ALL THE TIME, I'd start distancing myself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:51 PM
I understand venting, but this is literally everyday usually more than once. Between her husband and her kids, there's always an issue. I try to help whenever I can, but it's as though she never appreciates anything good that goes on for her.

Quoting jas_momof2:

She's looking to you to vent her frustrations - much like what you're doing here...  If you can't handle it, tell her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:52 PM
I tried talking to her and she blew it way out of proportion. I feel like distancing ourselves is the only choice left, I just don't want it to hurt dd.

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I don't typically associate with people who are negative all the time. If she's complaining here and there, she just needs someone to vent to. If it's ALL THE TIME, I'd start distancing myself.

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Mar. 26, 2014 at 6:10 PM

Then you can either tell her to lay off or you start to not hang out with her so much...  Some people can't see the trees through the forest.  Or was that the other way around?

Quoting Anonymous: I understand venting, but this is literally everyday usually more than once. Between her husband and her kids, there's always an issue. I try to help whenever I can, but it's as though she never appreciates anything good that goes on for her.
Quoting jas_momof2:

She's looking to you to vent her frustrations - much like what you're doing here...  If you can't handle it, tell her.



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