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Military Families Military Families

Only place I feel comfortable talking about this

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I've posted anon twice about issues with my husband, the last one was titled thank you for your support. I feel comfortable not being anon only in this group. This has been a tough month with me having my two boys alone. Not just emotionally but financially. Just when I was about to start canceling luxuries I got an LES from DFAS and called to find out why, I'm going to receive funds for my boys for the next 3 years, and even though we will still have to cut back (even with me working) it takes a huge weight off my shoulders. My oldest is having a tough time with discipline does anyone have any tips to help with behavior in 3 year olds when he will possibly never see daddy again? Or even any budgeting tips or advice I'll take advice


by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:54 PM
Replies (11-20):
3xangel
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 5:21 AM
I'm glad things are looking up for you! Just be consistent with whatever discipline you decide to do. Maybe even look into counseling for him. Good luck to you and your little ones.
mrsary
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 5:32 AM
What happened? You still in Fayetteville?
lauren131
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 5:43 AM
Lots of people are advising cash idk about you but when i have cash in my walet im like yey! Cash spening money! Sence your on the military group i guess you have navy fed and get paied twice a month the beginning and middle of the month? Or maybe thats just the Navy? I really only know about the navy but what i did while my hubby was deployed that really worked for me was every paycheck i would take how much was in the bank subtract what bills where going to come out of that pay check what was left over i would cut into thirds and say ok i have 150 (two thirds) for food this month and 50(one third) for work clothes and my very tiney pay check would go toward tythe and savings
.oOMellyOo.
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this

FYI you can use Store and Manufacturer coupons at the same time :) and many stores will double coupons up to a dollar, just check your local grocery store's website for this information. 

As for a budget, the first month track your spending. Write down every cent you spend. See where it goes. When you do this you can see where you are being frivolous and where you can save. It also will show you what are necessities and what things you can live with out until the financial situation changes.

And if  I may, please speak with a counselor. Both you and your children deserve to be in a good safe place physically, and emotionally. You do not need a referral from Tricare. They might know of some grants, or organizations to help you and your family though this tough time. They have great groups to empower you. Check in to some local Martial Arts Schools, sometimes they offer "scholarships" to students who are financially strapped. (many athletic organizations do this ) This way your kids can still enjoy being a kid and you can learn some great self defense for yourself! I am a huge advocate of everyone knowing how to defend them self. It instills a certain confidence and pride. :) We have a family at our TKD where the children were abused, they are now in foster care and they are growing and thriving. Only the instructors were made aware of the home situation, so that we took and extra gentle approach with them. We motivate with out pushing, and encourage never discourage.

We are all rooting for you!

Quoting jtsmommie0104: Thank you so much :)
Quoting .oOMellyOo.:

If you coupon you can save lots on food and everyday items :) Match store coupons with manufacture coupons and use them when the items are on sale :) I can save on average between 45-60% on my food bill. And I LOVE consignment shops and I'm a Goodwill goer too! I bought the kids a Disney Infinity for $10 at GW. As a matter of fact I buy tarnished silver from GW all the time, I polish it an sell it on ebay/craigslist.

**I wish you the very best. You and your children deserve it.**


SlapItHigh
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 8:35 AM
Congrats!

Quoting jtsmommie0104:

And I also got great news that I get a bonus from my job, we will be able to be on our own soon thank god 

SlapItHigh
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 8:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Good point. It really depends on your personality but it's something to consider before deciding on the cash recommendation.

Quoting lauren131: Lots of people are advising cash idk about you but when i have cash in my walet im like yey! Cash spening money! Sence your on the military group i guess you have navy fed and get paied twice a month the beginning and middle of the month? Or maybe thats just the Navy? I really only know about the navy but what i did while my hubby was deployed that really worked for me was every paycheck i would take how much was in the bank subtract what bills where going to come out of that pay check what was left over i would cut into thirds and say ok i have 150 (two thirds) for food this month and 50(one third) for work clothes and my very tiney pay check would go toward tythe and savings
jtsmommie0104
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Yes. My husband he was going to pull a knife on me and the kids

Quoting mrsary: What happened? You still in Fayetteville?
jtsmommie0104
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:55 AM
I'm planning a trip to Harris teeter this weekend because they are tripling coupons. I'm in a women's group but I need a group or someone for my son

Quoting .oOMellyOo.:

FYI you can use Store and Manufacturer coupons at the same time :) and many stores will double coupons up to a dollar, just check your local grocery store's website for this information. 

As for a budget, the first month track your spending. Write down every cent you spend. See where it goes. When you do this you can see where you are being frivolous and where you can save. It also will show you what are necessities and what things you can live with out until the financial situation changes.

And if  I may, please speak with a counselor. Both you and your children deserve to be in a good safe place physically, and emotionally. You do not need a referral from Tricare. They might know of some grants, or organizations to help you and your family though this tough time. They have great groups to empower you. Check in to some local Martial Arts Schools, sometimes they offer "scholarships" to students who are financially strapped. (many athletic organizations do this ) This way your kids can still enjoy being a kid and you can learn some great self defense for yourself! I am a huge advocate of everyone knowing how to defend them self. It instills a certain confidence and pride. :) We have a family at our TKD where the children were abused, they are now in foster care and they are growing and thriving. Only the instructors were made aware of the home situation, so that we took and extra gentle approach with them. We motivate with out pushing, and encourage never discourage.

We are all rooting for you!

Quoting jtsmommie0104: Thank you so much :)

Quoting .oOMellyOo.:

If you coupon you can save lots on food and everyday items :) Match store coupons with manufacture coupons and use them when the items are on sale :) I can save on average between 45-60% on my food bill. And I LOVE consignment shops and I'm a Goodwill goer too! I bought the kids a Disney Infinity for $10 at GW. As a matter of fact I buy tarnished silver from GW all the time, I polish it an sell it on ebay/craigslist.

**I wish you the very best. You and your children deserve it.**

.oOMellyOo.
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 11:20 AM

My suggestion is to go visit a few dojos/dojangs. SEE how the work with kids, that's the most important thing. Then talk to them about your situation. No Sensi/ Sa Bum Nim/ Master worth their salt would turn you or your children away. A martial artiest code is to protect those who can not protect themselves. I would have been happy to have your family on scholarship at my dojang when I was owner/instructor. 

Visit the Tricare website, and look for a therapist for your son. You plug in your location and it gives you a list of providers. All you have to do is call the provider directly and make an appointment. You can also use Military One Source, they are fantastic and they will call and set up the appointment with a provider for you while you're on the phone. the number is  800-342-9647 a live person answers every call 24 hours a day.

Quoting jtsmommie0104: I'm planning a trip to Harris teeter this weekend because they are tripling coupons. I'm in a women's group but I need a group or someone for my son
Quoting .oOMellyOo.:


Quoting jtsmommie0104: 
Quoting .oOMellyOo.:


jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Mar. 27, 2014 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Awesome suggestions.  I have nothing to add, but I did want to wish you good luck and I hope everything works out and continues to do so for you!

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