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Just For Fun: 30 Telltale Signs You're a Military Wife

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 1:46 PM
  • 11 Replies

30 Telltale Signs You're a Military Wife

by Jeanne Sager

military homecomingBeing a military wife may not be a "job," but the women behind all those men in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard live a life like no other. They're brave. They're strong. And they can pack a house up like nobody's business!

So what makes a military wife? Other than the fact that she's got a husband in uniform? We asked women who are married to servicemen to share some of their favorite signs that they are SUCH a military wife, and some are pretty hilarious!

Here's what they said ...

1. You call your husband by his last name.

2. You don't know your husband's friends' first names!

3. You have packing your house up down to a science.

4. When you're asked to spell your name, and you say, "Charlie, Alpha ..."

5. You call his underwear BVDs.

6. Your home phone has one area code, and your cellphone has another.

7. You salute instead of putting your hand on your heart when you hear the National Anthem.

8. You don't even blink when you hear a helicopter ... or gunfire.

9. You can rattle off his Social Security number but have to think about your own.

10. The under-side of your furniture is covered in TMO stickers.

11. You write everything in pencil because it's probably going to change (especially his return date).

12. You plan vacations around deployments (and it's always to go back home to visit family anyway).

13. You've been to three different colleges trying to finally finish that bachelor's degree.

14. You stand before every movie.

15. You carry your cellphone EVERYWHERE just in case he calls (yes, you've even put it in a plastic bag and taken it into the shower).

16. You tell time in "hundred hours."

17. You want to take the hats off the men at a stadium during the National Anthem.

18. You can tell if a Marine is out of regulation.

19. Your address book is completely in pencil.

20. Your closet has more camo than any other color.

21. You're itching to move after 2 1/2 years.

22. You're on a first name basis with everyone from the post office.

23. You hear your husband went for a "hump" and aren't worried about him cheating.

24. You wish the commissary would open on Mondays.

25. You've known your BEST friend for three months, and she'd show up in the delivery room if you asked.

26. You keep track of the time by "Reveille," "Retreat," and "Taps."

27. You've told the dog to "stand down."

28. You know how to get black boot polish out of carpet.

29. You have to escort your friends to your house.

30. You almost never celebrate a holiday or birthday on the actual day.

All right, add yours!

How do you know you're SUCH a military wife?

by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 1:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cafe MichelleP
by Head Admin on Mar. 28, 2014 at 1:52 PM

I am guilty of a few of these.

I have not taken my cell phone into the shower with me, but I did keep it on the vanity next to the shower.

After only 24 hours of living in Grafenwohr, Germany, the rattle of the windows from live fire training exercises and the random booms that shook the house never bothered me again.

I was on a first name basis with my mailman, David and Clint, who worked the counter inside the post office. He made sure there was always Priority mail boxes and customs forms for me. :)

All of my bestfriends were made in the military.

And the time is always on 'hundred hours' in our house.

Going to 10 elementary schools and 3 high schools really isnt that big of a deal...haha


cocoroo
by Coco on Mar. 28, 2014 at 1:53 PM

The only thing that is true for me is that I'm itching to move after 2 1/2 years, but I have always been that way.  It has nothing to do with the military.  And, I make it a point to ask my dh's friends their first names.  This list sounds like it was made by a military spouse that has no life outside of the military.

mom2jessnky
by Dedi on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:06 PM
1 mom liked this

TIL I'm not a military wife... interesting.

Reina13
by Reina on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:26 PM

I have always  had wanderlust so I was always ready to move to our next duty station.

outtamymynd
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:29 PM
I can only relate to a couple of those. The ring makes me a military wife ;)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cocoroo
by Coco on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:37 PM

I had to look up what TIL meant.

Quoting mom2jessnky:

TIL I'm not a military wife... interesting.


crazedmama06
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:42 PM


Quoting Cafe MichelleP:


30 Telltale Signs You're a Military Wife

by Jeanne Sager

military homecomingBeing a military wife may not be a "job," but the women behind all those men in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard live a life like no other. They're brave. They're strong. And they can pack a house up like nobody's business!

So what makes a military wife? Other than the fact that she's got a husband in uniform? We asked women who are married to servicemen to share some of their favorite signs that they are SUCH a military wife, and some are pretty hilarious!

Here's what they said ...

1. You call your husband by his last name. - Yup but only to get his attention.

2. You don't know your husband's friends' first names! - I don't know if they are first names or not. lol.

3. You have packing your house up down to a science. Yes

4. When you're asked to spell your name, and you say, "Charlie, Alpha ..."

5. You call his underwear BVDs. - thank god no. they are boxers

6. Your home phone has one area code, and your cellphone has another. - never had a home phone. Just cells.

7. You salute instead of putting your hand on your heart when you hear the National Anthem. - I am not in uniform so...no. Hand on heart.

8. You don't even blink when you hear a helicopter ... or gunfire. - This sound puts me to sleep

9. You can rattle off his Social Security number but have to think about your own. - half the time I put half his half mine for mine

10. The under-side of your furniture is covered in TMO stickers. - yes. Its a game in our house now

11. You write everything in pencil because it's probably going to change (especially his return date). No but my calendar has a lot of scratch outs.

12. You plan vacations around deployments (and it's always to go back home to visit family anyway). - yes but never going home. usually to the water park or zoo.

13. You've been to three different colleges trying to finally finish that bachelor's degree. - reason why I don't go to school

14. You stand before every movie. - why???? no i don't.

15. You carry your cellphone EVERYWHERE just in case he calls (yes, you've even put it in a plastic bag and taken it into the shower). - not in the shower but yes it's every where and I panic when I can't find it.

16. You tell time in "hundred hours." I was raised this way

17. You want to take the hats off the men at a stadium during the National Anthem. Yes. And inside buildings.

18. You can tell if a Marine is out of regulation. honestly no. because I just don't care

19. Your address book is completely in pencil. That's the way I was raised to do it.

20. Your closet has more camo than any other color. nope. I have lots of clothing as does my husband

21. You're itching to move after 2 1/2 years. Kinda kinda not.

22. You're on a first name basis with everyone from the post office. - Yes. And they love me.

23. You hear your husband went for a "hump" and aren't worried about him cheating. I have no idea what that means.

24. You wish the commissary would open on Mondays. Don't shop there, hate shopping there so...no

25. You've known your BEST friend for three months, and she'd show up in the delivery room if you asked. Slightly true. When we met they became my best friends. I have very few true friends and consider them all my best friends.

26. You keep track of the time by "Reveille," "Retreat," and "Taps." No. I do that by looking at my watch

27. You've told the dog to "stand down." - No. but I tell her to shut the f up. 

28. You know how to get black boot polish out of carpet. TRUE! and beds, and car carpets and chairs.

29. You have to escort your friends to your house. Nope. Why I don't live on base

30. You almost never celebrate a holiday or birthday on the actual day. No matter what we celebrate on the day. Just sometimes twice.

All right, add yours! 

How do you know you're SUCH a military wife?


mom2jessnky
by Dedi on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Sorry.lol. Today I learned for anyone else wondering.

Quoting cocoroo:

I had to look up what TIL meant.

Quoting mom2jessnky:

TIL I'm not a military wife... interesting.

JMmama
by Kara on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't understand #7. Unless the spouse is also active duty, why would they salute?

Most of these don't apply to me but #26 is totally me now that we are living on base. And we get the added "bonus" of hearing the AF fight song at noon.
TippyD
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:53 PM


2. You don't know your husband's friends' first names!

3. You have packing your house up down to a science.

4. When you're asked to spell your name, and you say, "Charlie, Alpha ..."

6. Your home phone has one area code, and your cellphone has another.

8. You don't even blink when you hear a helicopter ... or gunfire.*um.. WHAT?!?!?!? I hope anyone would still blink/jump just saying...

9. You can rattle off his Social Security number but have to think about your own.


10. The under-side of your furniture is covered in TMO stickers.

13. You've been to three different colleges trying to finally finish that bachelor's degree.

15. You carry your cellphone EVERYWHERE just in case he calls (yes, you've even put it in a plastic bag and taken it into the shower). not in the showr, but it goes everywhere so I can tell when I get an email:)

17. You want to take the hats off the men at a stadium during the National Anthem.

21. You're itching to move after 2 1/2 years.*YES!!!!  it hasnt been 2 years yet and I am ready to move..lol

30. You almost never celebrate a holiday or birthday on the actual day. *some years*


these were the ones that were true for us.. minus #8.. not true.. i stilljump. lol

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