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Military Families Military Families

first time military wife

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 4:27 AM
  • 14 Replies
My husband is set to leave and I have a hard time excepting his leave and his absence in his child's life. We are close and I can't picture myself with out him for months. Any advice?.
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 4:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
504bbymami
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 4:42 AM
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Accepting *
Which branch?
Leaving for basic training? Oh honey, that part is cake.

My dh is getting ready to leave for a year. We have an almost 5 year old, a 2 year old and are in the process of adopting our 6 month old niece.

It's tough but it's the life we chose. It's one downfall but there are many other benefits to the life. This is just something you're going to have to get used to, pull up your big girl panties and get through it. Before my dh joined the military, we had lived together since we were 17. Never spent a day away from each other. He was a permanent fixture in my life since I was 12. It was hard. My oldest son was just an infant. Only a couple months old when my dh left. I had never lived alone before that, never had to be completely independant. It was beyond hard but I got through. It goes by fast.
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barrelracer1699
by Chel on Apr. 23, 2014 at 4:55 AM
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You just have to keep yourself busy, and learn to be independent. Know that you will not be able to talk to them all the time, and sometimes he may not be on when he said he would be. Don't live next to the computer or phone just waiting for the call. If you do that it will drag on forever and you will stay depressed. You need to stay strong for your little one.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 23, 2014 at 5:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Welcome!  I would edit your post and take out the date you included...never a good idea to post ANY dates on the internet.  

UCFknight
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:19 AM

Welcome! The time he spends in basic and training will actually be your shortest time apart. It's sort of a test run for what you both will be dealing with once he goes to the fleet/battalion/etc. Like the others have said, don't let your life stop. Stay busy, get things prepared for your first move once he graduates school, spend time with family/friends now as you most likely will not be stationed nearby. Those who have a positive outlook with this career do well. As long as you know, you must become very independent. Even though you're married, your spouse will be gone often, and will miss many holidays and celebrations. Oh, and most bases offer a new spouses class. I highly encourage you to take it. It will give you lots of good information. Good luck, and welcome!

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:25 AM
3 moms liked this

Find a hobby. Spend lots of time with friends.

And don't ever say things like, "I'm having a hard to accepting your absence from your child's life." This man is still your husband, and he's still your child's father, but he's taking steps toward a better life for both of you. You need to step up and be strong. It sucks sometimes, but you can't get all emotional and distraught about it. 

anchorgurl
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:31 AM

 There's not a whole lot for me to add at this point-it looks like all the basics have been covered.  He's doing what he needs to so that he can take care of his family, so try to focus on that rather than "he's being absent from his child's life."  He's not being absent (meaning not a part of his/her life), he's working and not in the same space as you geographically.  All of you can still connect no matter where he is or how long he is gone.  It takes effort, but it can be done. 

 

mom2jessnky
by Dedi on Apr. 23, 2014 at 8:55 AM

This.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Find a hobby. Spend lots of time with friends.

And don't ever say things like, "I'm having a hard to accepting your absence from your child's life." This man is still your husband, and he's still your child's father, but he's taking steps toward a better life for both of you. You need to step up and be strong. It sucks sometimes, but you can't get all emotional and distraught about it. 


jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Apr. 23, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Two feet - stand on them.

cocoroo
by Coco on Apr. 23, 2014 at 11:50 AM

Learn to be your own person.  I was 5 months pregnant, had a 2 1/2 yo, and a 6 yo when my dh went to basic training.  It was hard, but I did it.  I was 700 miles from family, had no help, and few friends because we had just moved 5 months prior.  I just stayed busy and figured it out.

outtamymynd
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 11:53 AM
Looks like everyone coved it. I know it's rough in the beginning but you will "get used to it". This part is easy, you ain't seen nothin yet.
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