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Military Families Military Families

Deployment

Posted by on May. 11, 2014 at 6:02 PM
  • 11 Replies
Hello I need advice please my husband is currently deployed. We haven't been apart for this long since his school training. I'm getting depressed and I'm always crying i hate being alone 😔
He has been able to call but only a few times. I feel like it's getting harder with each day that goes by. 😔
by on May. 11, 2014 at 6:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmclife58
by Nikki on May. 11, 2014 at 7:09 PM
3 moms liked this

You need to get a life. I mean that in the nicest way. Sitting around crying is unhealthy and will only make things harder.

anchorgurl
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2014 at 7:11 PM

 What Nikki said.  You need to have your own life and not rely on another person to make you happy. 

Soniam301
by Sonia on May. 11, 2014 at 7:42 PM


Quoting usmclife58:

You need to get a life. I mean that in the nicest way. Sitting around crying is unhealthy and will only make things harder.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 11, 2014 at 8:41 PM

I agree with Nikki.  Do you have children?  Job?  Volunteer?  Hobbies?  Keep yourself busy.  

sweetsouthrnMom
by Member on May. 11, 2014 at 8:49 PM

Crying will unfortunately make it only harder on yourself, and on your Husband. It is just as hard for him to be away from you, but he has a job to do, and crying about it and if he knows how distraught you are, it will only distract him and make it harder for him.

The very best thing to do is establish a life. Find ways to volunteer perhaps, whether that is within an outreach Military program so you can feel useful and connected in a round about way, or at a shelter ( dog or person ), any cause you find you enjoy. Perhaps find work, if you do not already. Take a class, learn sign language or Spanish, perhaps something more "exotic." Connect with friends and family...but you need to fill your life with things that give you joy and a purpose. Sitting around all day watching re runs of Army Wives while eating a tub of Cookie Dough and crying will only make you feel worse Dear. Trust me. I have been there. I believe many of us have once upon a time.

The best feeling in the world is after you accomplish something. When your Husband comes home...it would feel great to be able to tell him everything YOU have accomplished as well. Instead of complaining the entire time. It is hard, but it will slowly get a form of "easier."

Whenever you miss him, or if you can, begin writing him letters, cards, sending him care packages ...that will help make you feel that you are benefitting him and doing something to help him as well, along with yourself.

cocoroo
by Coco on May. 11, 2014 at 8:52 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to learn to be alone. Get busy and stay busy.  Learn to stand on your own two feet.

Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2014 at 10:31 PM
Agreed. Get a life. Go have fun and make something out of your time apart. This may be hard on both of you but not everything about being deployed is bad. He's there with his buddies and there is always time for fun. Go do the same.
armywife15r
by New Member on May. 12, 2014 at 7:52 AM

The hardest thing to do when you are depressed is to get up and out but that is what you need to do. I understand what you are going through please believe me. If you don't even recognize your self or your home anymore you need to get help. If you are feeling very lost there is no shame in going andtalking to your doctor or a professional. I agree that you need to find something to keep you busy and keep your mind off of the separation. Another thing that keeps my head straight is that at any time I remember that my husband might need me to be stronger than i have ever had to be before. With that in mind I make sure that everything is kept up and I am healthy and able in case a bad situation were to ever come up. When your husband does call don't pretend everything is peachy keen but don't over burden him either. If he thinks you don't need him he could feel resentful but if he feels that you need him tooo much he might try to pull away. I am NOT sugesting that is what your husband would do but it IS what my husband did.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 12, 2014 at 8:01 AM

Welcome to the Military. Where you will spend most of your time away from your spouse.You need to get busy and stay busy. Staying home and cry about it does not help you nor your husband.

This is what I do. The first day he leaves, I set and have a good long cry! I set and watch the clock and wonder where he is at....The next day, I tell myself no more crying and feeling sorry for myself. I get up and get busy. We have 2 children that I HAVE to care for a be strong for. So, I get busy being mom and dad. Sure, I have my moments where I cry alone and feel like it will never end. But than I tell myself he has is MUCH harder than I do. The trick is to stay positive and busy!

violinjewel
by Julia on May. 12, 2014 at 1:25 PM
I agree with the others, you need to get out and do stuff, not just sit at home and cry. If you truly are that depressed, it may be time to seek medical help, but it doesn't sound like you're at that point yet.
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