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Military Families Military Families

I rather serve my country then stay home with kids.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 56 Replies
1 mom liked this
Like seriously,
It's been driving me insane being a stay at home mom and my dh makes me feel like crap like I have it easy. I've been feeling like shit and my house is a total mess when before we had our son I used to be a neat freak and have everything spotless.

I really hate it. I've been talking to recruiters since I was 14 and had my mind set on enlisting until I found out I was pregnant the week I was suppose to take my asvab. I feel like my life ended there. But I did good after a while of being depressed I got my shit together, got my ged, ID, got a job and everything all in 2 weeks time.

That was a year ago. Now I've done nothing. Stayed at home and took care of our son and it's driving me insane! I'm 21 and have until my 22nd birthday to enroll in school for free since I was in foster care or my benefits are gone. He wants me to go to school online (FUCK THAT) I can't stay at home 24/7 I need to get OUT.

He tries to make it seem like I'm trying to abandon him when I do leave on weekends if he doesn't want to go anywhere. I just go drive to see my family because I can't stay home all day everyday and stay sane. He doesn't want to see them anyway he hates my family and its not fair he expects me to stay home all day everyday and then makes me feel bad because I don't want to.

Since I already registered for school I'm planning on going in fall. Maybe asking my family to watch our son and then get degree and either getting a job or start talking to recruiters again. I've wanted to serve for as long as I remember. My mom wants me to do the navy but since dh is army I was thinking of doing that or airforce since they have some join bases with army/airforce.

It's hard staying home and props to anyone who enjoys it because it's not for me. I need to socialize. I need to be on my feet and I need to get out. I can't drive myself insane doing nothing all day. I need to be around people. I rather get bitched at all day then stay home.

I don't even feel like doing anything until dh gets home and then when I try to get shit done he wants me to watch baby. Because he's been at work all day and is tired. I wish I had that excuse. If only I had a job so I don't have to Clean or take care of a baby all day.

He tells me it's not hard watching tv and playing all day and eating and taking naps when I please. REALLY? I just cant.... it really pissed me off when he says shit like that.

Or when I'm trying to cook and he wants me to hold baby. Okay but of he cooks I also have to hold baby. So, every excuse. You can't cook and watch baby but when I cook 90% of the time I have to? Gtfo I'm just done. I cant. He thinks me getting a job is me trying to leave him

Me getting a job is me trying to help support our family as well as me keeping my sanity. If he wants to stay home after I get a job he can, but I've already decided I'm just sick of the bullshit and excuses.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 6, 2014 at 11:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SlapItHigh
by Gold Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry that you are having a rough time.  Sounds like you are starting school in the fall while and finding childcare for your son.  If you can't wait, find child care sooner and get a job now.  Or you could make the best of it until school starts. Why do you have to stay home and off your feet all day just because you have a son?  There are so many things you could be doing with him that would allow you to get out and socialize.  Don't do nothing all day! 


Dolcepsle
by Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:00 AM
I couldn't read it all. Too long but ENLIST. If you truly want to, just do it. Talk it over obviously. You will eventually age out. Enlist now if it's a dream. Some people aren't suited for staying at home. My husband is military. It provides a steady income and insurance. You can get the GI bill and pass it to your son. The military will pay for your schooling while you are enlisted. There are many benefits.
SitaStJames
by Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:30 AM

If you do decide to go into the military or school that you have back up plans if your husband ever deploys so that way you can still focus on your schooling or your career if you go in the military especially if both you and your husband deploy around the same time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:37 AM

SAHM is hard, I hate it. I have not been able to find employment at this station.

I know you want to enlist, I always have too and DH decided he would be the one to impress my father *rolls eyes*. However, do you think it is fair to the child with the hours and the risks that you both be military unless you have no other options?

sahmw2010
by Beth on Jun. 7, 2014 at 8:33 AM
4 moms liked this
Why fo you hve to stay home all day? Take the baby out to the park, join playgroups, get out to the zoo. Half the things we do are without my dh. But mainly it is because of his hours. Now this summer I wont be able to do much during the Internship, but before i would take the kids to the park, pool, nature walks, zoo, aquarium. Even the childrens museum had things for my 1 year old to do. Why do you have to stay home?
ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 9:21 AM

If your husband is active duty Army, this gets complicated. He'll have to sign off on a child care action plan.  He has to be willing to be the primary care giver while you go to basic, and school. You have to be deployable, he has to remain deployable. You may have to get your family to sign saying that they will take temporary custody of your son if you/he have to deploy. And there is absolutely no guarentee that you would be stationed at the same base. When I was still enlisted I told them I would stay in the Navy if they would station me with my husband. They absolutely refused and told me I could go to the ship, or go home. I gave them the bird, and went home. Still a little bitter about that. 

And btw, it's not just joint Army/Air Force bases. There are joint bases, or bases that have contigents of other branches, everywhere. We're Navy on and Air Force base. Every branch is here. 

JerseyAirGurl
by Ada on Jun. 7, 2014 at 12:28 PM
5 moms liked this
Call me crazy but being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you are confined to your home only... you can leave and socialize while taking your child with you.
jupiter5
by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 12:38 PM
It sounds like he just never wants to hold the baby.
cocoroo
by Coco on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:17 PM

What?  I've been doing it wrong all these years, lol.

Quoting JerseyAirGurl: Call me crazy but being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you are confined to your home only... you can leave and socialize while taking your child with you.


adrianna1043
by Adrianna on Jun. 7, 2014 at 2:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel like I'm out and about too much. Lol It would be nice to sit at home for even a day.

Quoting cocoroo:

What?  I've been doing it wrong all these years, lol.

Quoting JerseyAirGurl: Call me crazy but being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you are confined to your home only... you can leave and socialize while taking your child with you.

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