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Did You Have Help?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 8:49 AM
  • 44 Replies

I was in Texas yesterday taking care of last minute house business. While I was there I met up with my daughter in law (I'm still getting used to saying that) who is in the process of packing. She is leaving Texas next week for Connecticut  now that they have housing.

When they married, as a wedding gift my DH and I told them that we would provide everything they needed for one room in their new home, they choose the kitchen.
My DIL and I had so much fun shopping yesterday going store to store buying everything they need to have a fully stocked kitchen.
When we were checking out at one store,  the cashier asked me if I was replacing my old items with new. I told her that we were stocking my son and dil's kitchen as a wedding gift. The cashier, in a somewhat sarcastic and surprised tone said, "It must be nice to have people do things for you." My DIL nor I responded but it stayed with me the rest of the day.

In my family, this is how we do things. When you are newly married, the family helps out as much as possible.

Did you have any kind of help, financial or otherwise when you first married or have you always provided for yourself?

by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 8:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
libbybell
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:21 AM
That was very sweet of you :) My in laws were very generous with wedding gifts. My mother- in- law also bought my daughter lots of things. My husband has no children. She grabbed up my daughter and introduced herself as grandma. My parents paid for part of the wedding. My sisters helped me plan. Everyone gave out of love.
mnkymommy08
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:24 AM
We did everything on our own. Pretty much the same thing when getting ready for baby too. But we also haven't been stationed particularly close to any family. DH's grandma always sends $75 after baby is born to go into their savings account (each of our children has a savings account. I start it they day after their birthday bit save for it during my pregnancy) but other than that not a whole lot. Although since DS was the first boy for both of our families in a long time (DH was the last boy for his) my mom and MIL went a little nuts with buying clothes.
Molimomma
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Wow. No, we had zero help. Unless you count my FIL helping DH fill the uhaul of my apartment stuff! My mom had given me her couch when I moved out and she moved to VA and she helped me get a few things for my first kitchen then. She had already helped enough with the wedding so I didn't feel the need or expect anything from her. My MIL bought us several sets of towels that were on our wedding registry. That was basically it.

virgoj3
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:34 AM

no - my mother disowned me as soon as she found out I was pregnant (I was an unwed, 23 year old law student).  This was after she gave me a wedding band to wear wheh I was out with her so people would think I was married and she wouldn't have to be embarrassed. 

I think it is wonderful that you are helping your DIL - 20 years later it is difficult for me to help my mother now that she needs it. 

jen7232
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this

No! I wish. We've always provided for ourselves. I think that's very nice of you.

mrsary
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:10 AM
None! I would help my kids like you did though.
Cafe MichelleP
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:11 AM

Thank you.
It is something that my family has just always done. I was on the receiving end of family generosity when I first married all those years ago too.

I love that your MIL fully embraced your daughter as her own granddaughter.

Quoting libbybell: That was very sweet of you :) My in laws were very generous with wedding gifts. My mother- in- law also bought my daughter lots of things. My husband has no children. She grabbed up my daughter and introduced herself as grandma. My parents paid for part of the wedding. My sisters helped me plan. Everyone gave out of love.


Bmat
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:13 AM

We provided for ourselves.

Cafe MichelleP
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:15 AM

I like the idea of starting a savings account for a new baby.

My oldest son was my parents first grandchild and first boy in the family. They went completely nuts over him. They raised 3 girls and finally had their boy in my son..haha. Never was a child more spoiled by grandparents than my oldest son. Since then they have 8 more grandsons and not a single granddaugther and they are perfectly happy to spoil all 9 boys.  :)

Quoting mnkymommy08: We did everything on our own. Pretty much the same thing when getting ready for baby too. But we also haven't been stationed particularly close to any family. DH's grandma always sends $75 after baby is born to go into their savings account (each of our children has a savings account. I start it they day after their birthday bit save for it during my pregnancy) but other than that not a whole lot. Although since DS was the first boy for both of our families in a long time (DH was the last boy for his) my mom and MIL went a little nuts with buying clothes.


Cafe MichelleP
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:22 AM

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I was also a young unmarried mother in college and I cannot imagine  how much more difficult it would have been without the support of my parents.

You are so strong to have done it on your own.  :)

Quoting virgoj3:

no - my mother disowned me as soon as she found out I was pregnant (I was an unwed, 23 year old law student).  This was after she gave me a wedding band to wear wheh I was out with her so people would think I was married and she wouldn't have to be embarrassed. 

I think it is wonderful that you are helping your DIL - 20 years later it is difficult for me to help my mother now that she needs it. 


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