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Military Families Military Families

From Texas, getting out the Army in N.Carolina and want to stay here...

Posted by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 7:01 AM
  • 38 Replies
I am single mom to three going to grades pre k, 1st, and 3rd and wanting to stay in NC instead of going back to TX with my family. I am terrified of staying in NC, but really don't want to go back to TX! I just starting applying to jobs in the area and hoping to interview and get hired before I get out. Not sure when I am getting out since I am choosing involuntary separation due to Family Care Plan. I am stationed in Fort Bragg right now and have always wanted to end my journey in NC and stay here.
What are your opinions on this?
For example... should I suck it up and go back to TX or attempt my plan (I do have a NC plan) and try to stay here, but send my household goods to TX just in case?
by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 7:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mnkymommy08
by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 7:12 AM
DH wants to go back to NC when he gets out. He is from just outside Rockingham (about 30/45 minutes away from you). I love it there. If you don't mind me asking, do you have money saved to help get you by after you are out? It would make finding a job less stressful. Especially with LO involved. I say if you are happy there then stay. What are the reasons for moving back to TX? Maybe sit down and write out a list of pros and cons of each scenario. DH had someone at Bliss who got out for the same reason and it didn't take very long. Even with them messing up some of her paperwork. She started in December and was out at the beginning of March.
gunsgirl
by Silver Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 8:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I moved to Fl as a single mom with 2 kids, I had no job and only one friend there-

that was 20 years ago,

I was a ble to get a job the first week I was there, moved into my own apt the month after hat and never regretted the decision to move.

I now live in GA with my DH and my family- who all moved here in the last few years, my parents, my son, my daughter and my aunt will be moving next year. We are all originally from MI.

I will add this-- I do think your crazy to get out because of child care issues- because if you have child care issues now you will have child care issues in the civilian community and I can assure you you will have more trouble keeping a job if you do not have good child care, the loss of benfits the loss of the CDC for day time care, will all strongly effect your income earning ability.

GL with what ever you decide. And thank you for your service.

mrsary
by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 8:34 AM
I heard it wont take long with Family Care Plan too. I will do the pros and cons list (Thanks!). Yes I do have about 18 to 24 months of my current salary put away, but accesible for hard times. I joined the army to get away from my family. They arent very nice to me. Lol.
I am hoping to collect whatever govt assistance I can such as CHIP for the kids and housing based on my income UNLESS I get hired before then. I am just so scared, but know I have to face this and stop settling with "comfortable". Being comfortable is what has kept me in so long.

Quoting mnkymommy08: DH wants to go back to NC when he gets out. He is from just outside Rockingham (about 30/45 minutes away from you). I love it there. If you don't mind me asking, do you have money saved to help get you by after you are out? It would make finding a job less stressful. Especially with LO involved. I say if you are happy there then stay. What are the reasons for moving back to TX? Maybe sit down and write out a list of pros and cons of each scenario. DH had someone at Bliss who got out for the same reason and it didn't take very long. Even with them messing up some of her paperwork. She started in December and was out at the beginning of March.
mnkymommy08
by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 9:13 AM
We did the pros and cons list for deciding between going back to NC or back to KY when he retires. Sometimes it helps to write it all down. I wouldn't go back to TX then. That's awesome that you have that money saved. The kids should be able to get the state health care. It's normal tp be scared. It is a big change. If you just settle all the time then you will never be 100% happy. I say go for it. Sounds like you are pretty prepared for staying in NC.

Quoting mrsary: I heard it wont take long with Family Care Plan too. I will do the pros and cons list (Thanks!). Yes I do have about 18 to 24 months of my current salary put away, but accesible for hard times. I joined the army to get away from my family. They arent very nice to me. Lol.
I am hoping to collect whatever govt assistance I can such as CHIP for the kids and housing based on my income UNLESS I get hired before then. I am just so scared, but know I have to face this and stop settling with "comfortable". Being comfortable is what has kept me in so long.

Quoting mnkymommy08: DH wants to go back to NC when he gets out. He is from just outside Rockingham (about 30/45 minutes away from you). I love it there. If you don't mind me asking, do you have money saved to help get you by after you are out? It would make finding a job less stressful. Especially with LO involved. I say if you are happy there then stay. What are the reasons for moving back to TX? Maybe sit down and write out a list of pros and cons of each scenario. DH had someone at Bliss who got out for the same reason and it didn't take very long. Even with them messing up some of her paperwork. She started in December and was out at the beginning of March.
mnkymommy08
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:55 AM
Some people can't afford day care on post though. DH had a soldier who was a single mother with twin boys who, even after claiming financial hardship and having the cost reduced, still couldn't afford daycare, bills, groceries etc. She separated from the Army for the same reason that the OP is and is now working full time as well as being a full time student. She is recieving more help with childcare as a civilian than she did as an active duty service member.

Quoting gunsgirl:

I moved to Fl as a single mom with 2 kids, I had no job and only one friend there-


that was 20 years ago,


I was a ble to get a job the first week I was there, moved into my own apt the month after hat and never regretted the decision to move.


I now live in GA with my DH and my family- who all moved here in the last few years, my parents, my son, my daughter and my aunt will be moving next year. We are all originally from MI.


I will add this-- I do think your crazy to get out because of child care issues- because if you have child care issues now you will have child care issues in the civilian community and I can assure you you will have more trouble keeping a job if you do not have good child care, the loss of benfits the loss of the CDC for day time care, will all strongly effect your income earning ability.


GL with what ever you decide. And thank you for your service.

ERMDK
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:49 AM
Dh was stationed at Ft. Bragg for 8 years. First I hated it, then I enjoyed it a lot, then it was just okay. Most of that was from jobs and friends coming and going. Now, we have been in Texas for 2 months. I'm not liking it much so far, but it has been 100+ degrees for about 50 out of those 60 days, so that could be why (one of the reasons I was so miserable when I first got to NC, in the heatwave of '02). Anyway, I'm not a single mom but I do have 4 kids, and if Dh got out right now and I had to choose between TX and NC, I (and dh) would choose NC. Maybe not Fayetteville, unless he got a great job there, but closer to Raleigh or Charlotte might be... nice.
mrsary
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 4:31 AM
How did I miss this comment? Lol. I cant afford the "extra hours" childcare. CDC and SAS is awesome financially!

Quoting mnkymommy08: Some people can't afford day care on post though. DH had a soldier who was a single mother with twin boys who, even after claiming financial hardship and having the cost reduced, still couldn't afford daycare, bills, groceries etc. She separated from the Army for the same reason that the OP is and is now working full time as well as being a full time student. She is recieving more help with childcare as a civilian than she did as an active duty service member.

Quoting gunsgirl:

I moved to Fl as a single mom with 2 kids, I had no job and only one friend there-


that was 20 years ago,


I was a ble to get a job the first week I was there, moved into my own apt the month after hat and never regretted the decision to move.


I now live in GA with my DH and my family- who all moved here in the last few years, my parents, my son, my daughter and my aunt will be moving next year. We are all originally from MI.


I will add this-- I do think your crazy to get out because of child care issues- because if you have child care issues now you will have child care issues in the civilian community and I can assure you you will have more trouble keeping a job if you do not have good child care, the loss of benfits the loss of the CDC for day time care, will all strongly effect your income earning ability.


GL with what ever you decide. And thank you for your service.

mrsary
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 4:34 AM
CYSS has been a Godsend for my family. I actually stayed in long enough for my youngest to not need daycare anymore. That was my goal! I can't afford the other childcare prices. We deploy alot and get random activation phone calls (something called GRF). It is waaayyyy too much and it is very hard for me to get a phone call at 1am to come in at 2am without a childcare provider living with me!!

Quoting gunsgirl:

I moved to Fl as a single mom with 2 kids, I had no job and only one friend there-


that was 20 years ago,


I was a ble to get a job the first week I was there, moved into my own apt the month after hat and never regretted the decision to move.


I now live in GA with my DH and my family- who all moved here in the last few years, my parents, my son, my daughter and my aunt will be moving next year. We are all originally from MI.


I will add this-- I do think your crazy to get out because of child care issues- because if you have child care issues now you will have child care issues in the civilian community and I can assure you you will have more trouble keeping a job if you do not have good child care, the loss of benfits the loss of the CDC for day time care, will all strongly effect your income earning ability.


GL with what ever you decide. And thank you for your service.

mrsary
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 4:36 AM
I love NC!! Where at in TX? I came to Bragg from Hood and am still in shock. Two different Army worlds. Lol.

Quoting ERMDK: Dh was stationed at Ft. Bragg for 8 years. First I hated it, then I enjoyed it a lot, then it was just okay. Most of that was from jobs and friends coming and going. Now, we have been in Texas for 2 months. I'm not liking it much so far, but it has been 100+ degrees for about 50 out of those 60 days, so that could be why (one of the reasons I was so miserable when I first got to NC, in the heatwave of '02). Anyway, I'm not a single mom but I do have 4 kids, and if Dh got out right now and I had to choose between TX and NC, I (and dh) would choose NC. Maybe not Fayetteville, unless he got a great job there, but closer to Raleigh or Charlotte might be... nice.
gunsgirl
by Silver Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:14 AM
2 moms liked this

I understand that child care issues- but I cannot understand the inability to pay for other child care.

you should qualify for FSSA - child care assistance, you should qualify for WIC, you sould be getting child support from thier dad, you can go back to court and require your ex to pay for part of the child care costs. there are Family care providers that are open 24/7 - there may even be local centers that are open 24.7.

there are networks of families - other single parents in other units that would be willing to swap care.

I guess what I am saying is there are alternate choices. and the grass is not always greener on the other side.

DH is a retiree with 23 years AD service- and he has been looking for a job for 6 months. it is a very tough job market. 

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