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Am I overly concerned?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:47 PM
  • 5 Replies
My bf (U.S Army, 17 yrs in, getting honorably medical discharged) had a psychologist appointment today. Well he went in fine but came out a little distant from me. I asked him what was wrong and he said it's just heard opening up. So I understood. But, he quite smoking since January, he only drinks when we have parties. And the past two days he hasn't smoked a lot but he started smoking and today he bought a bottle of crown Royal..... He hasn't really even talked to me today not have me a kiss.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and idk what to think I'm trying not to over react or put to many emotions or even be to concerned. If he said he's okay I should just let him be right? But... Even when I try and have a conversation is like I'm talking to a wall. Ughhh am I just being emotional because I'm pregnant or is there something I can really do to help??!!
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-5):
SneezyAl
by Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 7:39 PM
1 mom liked this
He likely discussed many things that were very difficult. He is also going through a medical discharge after 17 years of service. The transition from military to the civilian world is very difficult. Everything they know and everything they are changes when they leave the service after that many years.

While the drinking isn't the greatest thing it is how he is dealing with things right now. Just let him know that you are there when he needs you. Just love him, that is all you can do.
4Smallduckies
by New Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 8:46 PM
Thank you! Its just heard I'm new to this lol but thank you

Quoting SneezyAl: He likely discussed many things that were very difficult. He is also going through a medical discharge after 17 years of service. The transition from military to the civilian world is very difficult. Everything they know and everything they are changes when they leave the service after that many years.

While the drinking isn't the greatest thing it is how he is dealing with things right now. Just let him know that you are there when he needs you. Just love him, that is all you can do.
SneezyAl
by Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:31 PM
My husband was medically discharged at 14 years and I have been in your shoes. It was difficult during the process and for about 6 months after my husband got out. He had always planned to retire from the military so his medical discharge was a shock. Once he found a job and got into the swing of a new routine life went back to normal.

Quoting 4Smallduckies: Thank you! Its just heard I'm new to this lol but thank you

Quoting SneezyAl: He likely discussed many things that were very difficult. He is also going through a medical discharge after 17 years of service. The transition from military to the civilian world is very difficult. Everything they know and everything they are changes when they leave the service after that many years.

While the drinking isn't the greatest thing it is how he is dealing with things right now. Just let him know that you are there when he needs you. Just love him, that is all you can do.
lbelle15
by Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 12:21 PM
This isn't exactly the same buy because it is also a stressful situation is somewhat. When my husband went to sere they gave the families a packet of how to handle them when they come back. He's been through/is going through something difficult, he's stressed and probably worried about taking care of his family. Give him space but let him know you're there for him. Don't get upset if, when you talk about a problem you're having, he acts distant or doesn't seem to care. For 17 years he's had a reasonably stable job and didn't really have to worry about getting fired, he was told exactly what to do and when to do and when to do it most likely and the civilian world is scary. Judging by the time he spent in he probably never really had a civilian career and probably planned on retiring from the army. Just don't get too upset, he's going through something not many people understand.
.oOMellyOo.
by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 7:33 PM

He may have been forced to confront some very real fears. Transitioning out of the service is hard. The appointment might have brought up some old ghosts as well. I say give it a few days and let him mull it over. If things aren't looking better then I would ask him to speak with the chaplan or other counselor.

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