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Husband deployed in Korea wants a divorce.

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2017 at 11:11 PM
  • 12 Replies

 My husband left in May for a year deploymet to Korea.  Everything was ok at first, so I thought. 

 He started to call less, and become very distant. Obviously when he started acting like this I began questioning him. One day he tells me he dosen't know if he wants to be with me anymore. He told me the feelings he had for me went away and that he is no longer in love with me. 

My heart dropped. It was out of nowhere. How could this be. we litterally had our second baby just a month before we left and never did he mention how unhappy or out of love he was.


He treats me like he hates me, dosent want to talk to me and is constantly reminding me that he wants a divorce, that we are not together.  somedays he loves me though. Just not enough to be with me for the rest of his life. 

I am to the point where I feel stupid trying to make us work. He continues to shut me down. 

Any advice ladies, I don't know what to do. 

by on Oct. 8, 2017 at 11:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 9, 2017 at 12:56 AM
Give him the divorce. He's got a side chick over there.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2017 at 12:59 AM
Military breaks apart families all the time. How are you surprised?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2017 at 2:01 AM

That sounds really difficult. 

Give him space for now and see what happens.

Do you love him? 

ales16
by New Member on Oct. 9, 2017 at 6:44 AM
That’s what what I thought he has somebody else. Who knows?
I’m surprised because I thought we were a litttle stronger than that !
& yeah at this point I don’t even reach out to him. He calls to talk to our son and that’s it or for me to do him favors.

He supposed to come home in November for a week . Not looking fwd to it
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 9, 2017 at 11:25 PM

I am so sorry about what you are going through! Soldiers undergo a lot of stress during deployment. On the other hand, what you are going through is also not easy! I will suggest that you hang in there and decide on how things work out after he gets back. Perhaps, you could consider seeing a counselor who can help you talk through the issues you are facing? Praying for you!

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Oct. 16, 2017 at 10:25 PM
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. It happened/s to a lot of us. My husband tried to divorce me every, single, time he had to be away for a month or more. It's a weird male emo thing. He'll come to his senses. It's deployment hysteria.

And no, this does not mean your husband has a side chick.
Sicasica17
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Great advice.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Military breaks apart families all the time. How are you surprised?
Thought
by on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:02 PM

First, I have to tell you how sorry I am for your pain.  It is already really hard having a new baby and another child without the support of your husband's presence.  Of course, you carry much pain and confusion as you share that you had no idea he was struggling or carried doubts about the relationship. Perhaps he didn't before he left.  There is a chance that his deployment has been traumatizing and he is struggling with issues that even he does not understand. He may be acting out of fear, trauma, insecurity, self-doubt. While you are anxious about him coming home in November, this may be a good time to understand better what is going on.  Perhaps you can suggest that no decision be made yet to end the marriage.....that when he comes home in the Spring, you both sit down with a professional counselor and start to talk through feelings and the struggles that are putting stress on the marriage.  He may feel differently when he sees all of you again, when he holds his children, when he gets to experience the life he had that is so so elusive to him right now.  I join the other poster in offering prayers to you and your family.  If you belong to a church, you might want to reach out to your pastor or others for prayer support.  It is always worth fighting for your marriage and for your children. Stay strong.  While it is so hard to not look into the future, try to take fifteen minutes at a time and not get stuck in the future.  You only have now and you don't know what tomorrow will bring. I wish you strength and hope.

Mizuagi
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 3:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Where in Korea is he? If you don't want to answer on here, you can message me if you'd like. My husband is currently there right now.. he left in Feb and comes back around April next year. It's hard being away and I've heard of men who pull away from their wives while away.. it somehow makes sense in their minds.. but as soon as they see their wives, they instantly regret it all. 

Since my husband left, he is texting, calling and FaceTiming me every chance he gets, so for the girl who said military breaks families apart all the time, that's not true. When I was in Colorado, I used to clean homes and most of my clients were in the military, now retired, and had been together for many years. My favorite couple were in their 80's and she would tell me of her husband being away and she wouldn't hear from him months at a time, but this man has clearly always been very much in love with his wife. Very cute couple. 

Hottmomma607
by Group Admin on Oct. 23, 2017 at 11:50 PM
((HUGS))
So sorry you are going through this.


Quoting ales16:

 My husband left in May for a year deploymet to Korea.  Everything was ok at first, so I thought. 

 He started to call less, and become very distant. Obviously when he started acting like this I began questioning him. One day he tells me he dosen't know if he wants to be with me anymore. He told me the feelings he had for me went away and that he is no longer in love with me. 

My heart dropped. It was out of nowhere. How could this be. we litterally had our second baby just a month before we left and never did he mention how unhappy or out of love he was.

He treats me like he hates me, dosent want to talk to me and is constantly reminding me that he wants a divorce, that we are not together.  somedays he loves me though. Just not enough to be with me for the rest of his life. 

I am to the point where I feel stupid trying to make us work. He continues to shut me down. 

Any advice ladies, I don't know what to do. 

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