just wanted to introduce myself. i am a 43 y/o mother of 2 bio kids (27 and 4 & 1/2) and a 15 y/o sd that lives with us.
i love to workout but my life has changed so much since i've had my youngest and married my dh. we've been through custody battles, harrassment from bm and i have alot of health problems. i've been ill most of my life but got type 1 diabetes when i was 15 and had my first dd when i was 16. i've been insulin dependent since 16 also.
i was never one of the skinny girls but my weight was not that big of an issue. it wasn't like i was told 'you have a pretty face, but' or anything like that. it's just that the women in my family have always had to watch their weight.
i've also suffered from depression since i was a teen, been suicidal, hospitalized, medicated. in 2000 i had a breakdown and left my 1st dh because he was abusive and we had been together for 12 years. he was more mentally abusive than anything else and it really screwed me up.
before i met my dh now i was doing alot better, my sugars were better and i played volleyball 3 times a week all year round. i weight trained and was alot happier.
5 & 1/2 years ago i got with my dh and got pregnant quickly because of my age (38) and health but ended up having a horrible pregnancy anyway and pre-e which led to an emergency C-section at 28 weeks. i was 182 at the time and happy with that since i am 5'8 and didn't need to be stick thin at 39. i was 182 after i had my dd but her being in the hospital for 10 weeks made my depression worse and that's when i started gaining weight. that and the fact that bm started her shit and the whole blended family thing. it's been alot on me mentally which then affects me physically.
i now also have asthma, i'm on thyroid & BP meds, and of course the insulin and meds for depression. i have bad mood swings and have also had 3 hand surgeries and have a 'frozen shoulder' from my diabetes. i also have alot of anxiety and i don't like to leave my house unless it's absolutely necessary. i told my friend i'm afraid i will turn into one of those ppl that can't leave their houses. i bet linda didn't know what she was getting into when she asked me to join this group. lol
my problem is i can't get out of this depression and get myself moving. i'm ashamed to say that we have a gym in our basement and i have not been using it. and i told linda i get discouraged because when i feel up to working out my sugar will be either too high or too low and when my sugar is perfect i don't have the energy to do anything.
i think i need a really good push and my dh is afraid to give it to me! he works out and we should be working out together but he's a day person and i'm a night person. oh yea, that's another part of my problem. i used to workout at 3am before i met him and that worked for me because that's the schedule i'm on. but with a 4 y/o i can't be up all hours of the night.
i need bigtime help with my eating. i drink 2 cups of coffee when i get up and usually don't eat any food until 2 or so. me and my 4 y/o eat vegetables and fruits but my dh and sd will not. and since i'm up til 12 or 1am i eat chips and stuff which makes my sugar go up, then i need more insulin and insulin holds onto fat.
boy, this got really long. i'm so sorry. i just feel like crap and would like help. oh, did i say i weigh 215 now and have been this weight for at least a year or so now. it's the most i've weighed in my life. i would be happy to get back down to 182 like i was when i met my dh. and i'm so out of shape it really pisses me off.
thanks for listening. if you wanna kick me out of the group i would totally understand. you guys are all so motivated you don't need someone bringing you down.
~blue
Is "blue" the name you go by, or do you sign that way because you are in a depressed state?
Either way, I just want you to know that I am GLAD you are here. This is where you need to be to get encouragement and motivation as well as be inspired by others who were in the place that you are right now. And, don't worry... we will give you a good push or kick in the tail. 
But, we will always be supportive and try to help as much as we can. Though ou must realize that we can only give you encouragement as well as advice on meals and exercise. YOU are the one who has to follow through to get out of your rut. 
I have not started my class on working with diabetics yet, but I know Linda has a daughter with type 1 diabetes. She may be of great assistance here. I am working on some meal plans right now (as I discussed in my email to you), and I will get one worked on for you as well. Please email me and tell me what types of food you are eating now... how often you are eating... anything that you do with food. This will give me an idea of where to begin with you.
I know that once you are on a regular schedule of eating good, clean foods, you will begin to feel better mentally and physically both. In most instances, food is related to our emotions. If we are not getting the right nutrients into our systems, our brain isn't being fed what it needs to be or stay in that "happy" state. I would love to help get you there. I just hope that you will make the effort to get there too... not just for yourself... but for you husband... and your sweet little girl.
Abby
thank you abby. i am going to pm you.
and the name is
~blue
(my aunt thought the same thing when i signed her card ~blue by accident, she thought there was something wrong).
You are so welcome here! You are not bringing anyone down at all. This sight is to help people. And I am so happy you are here.
Your story is amazing! You have had some challenges and still do. I know the world of Diabetes and I ABSOLUTLEY commend you for wanting to get fit and feel good. We will be here to help you on your way and get you to your health and fitness goals. I admire you for being so open about your life and what you have gone through. And I think it is great your DH works out!
I so look forward to working with you and getting to know you better. Just keep on blogging here and we will be behind you 100%!
Welcome, we are glad you joined.
As you can see this is the group for you. Linda, Abby and so many other girls are so helpful and loving people. I wish you luck and I'm looking forward to getting to know you also.
Hope
I sympathize with some of the things you're going through. Most of my family is diabetic or has some other health problem that is related to weight, etc. I decided about a week ago that I am done with all of this extra weight and I am going to get healthy. We can do it together! Good luck and you can PM me any time, too!
Welcome!! I see that Abby is going to help you and that is AWESOME !! She is a wonderful lady and knows her stuff!!
I understand your struggles because of my past but one thing I tell you is that there is HOPE and you will find it !
I will be here to encourage you and hopefully push you along!
Meet Dodie702
This Nevada mom of two - who are just 18 months apart! - is married to her high school sweetheart and loves to craft in her free time.
So aggravating
- momofapreemie
on Nov. 22, 2009 at 2:09 PM