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HELP need advice!!

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2010 at 6:59 PM
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please I don't wanna hear I have to decide for myself...All advice is apprieciated just please DONT say hurtful things

My husband is m to f.   We have been having ALOT  of fights hear lately. none is of his transexuality however I wonder if deep down it is....how do I cope losing my best friend. please I don't wanna hear that it is the same person cuz its NOT! when someone is trapped in a body they don't feel like they belong they hide from everyone...I love him soooo much and I feel I lost my best friend...we have 5 beautifull babies and no we have not told them I am afriad...not ashamed.  I can't help but to feel this is not normal. I despretly DO NOT want to feel this way I can't afford counseling and I am on wellbutrin and prozac because of depression.  it has gotten worse since my gastric bypass but that is normal and that has nothing to do with this.  Yesterday I told him to leave and I despretly want him to come home.  what can I do to feel better...

by on Aug. 19, 2010 at 6:59 PM
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Replies (1-4):
purpleducky
by Group Owner on Aug. 20, 2010 at 9:50 AM

It is just going to take time. How long has she been transitioning? How far along is she in her transition? If it is early on, this is very VERY normal. Hell I felt the same way when my spouse told me even though I know exactly how he feels. If you can answer my questions I might be able to help more. But do know you are not alone.

mixmediaArtist
by on Aug. 20, 2010 at 3:45 PM

Change is something that will happen and you can not change it.  It is the same person that loves you, adores your family and belives in your dreams.  It is not the same person because the shell the outer part of this person is changing and believe it or not it does have an impact on everything else.

She is your best friend, and that should not change.  You should realize that she also feels that like she is loosing you as you are loosing her.  I say her becasue it is who it is inside, M to F.

You guys have to sit down with no judgment, nothing but the prioritize in front of you.  It does not change that she wants the best for your family.  Make a list what are the prioritize for the family.  Do you have only you two for support?  Im asking that because my family are supportive of me and others won't speak to me. 

I hope i could be of help. 

yim

Lottie_5
by New Member on Aug. 20, 2010 at 8:38 PM

I ABSOLUTELY APPREICIATE EVERYTHING!!! ya'll are great new friends please add me so we can stay in touch with all the good advice...it really helped and no one else knows

celestegood
by on Jun. 24, 2011 at 5:02 PM

Hugs!  Your spouse is still the same person inside.  The outside doesn't matter.  What matters is your love for each other.  I think that you need to sit down and write a list of things you love about your spouse, and when you doubt it all-and you might realize that those things won't change when your spouse's sex changes. 

This is hard, I know-but you can and will make it through it!

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