mother and child signMy life has changed a bit since I became a stay-at-home mom. It's changed for the better, for the wackier, for the outrageously nuttier, and it's more rewarding than I ever realized. It's also made me an "expert" (doing air quotes as I type, too) in things I never even dreamed possible. It's true that a SAHM has about 22 jobs. Things like chef, doctor, chauffeur ... but we also become quite skilled in the things we maybe took for granted before we had kids.

These new accomplishments and feats of strength have absolutely propelled me to some sort of superwoman status. Don't think so? Oh let me bask in my glory -- my 2-year-old twins deserve a mom who thinks she can do it all, right? We all deserve that. And any mom (stay at home or not) should be proud to add these remarkable actions to her resume. Because it ain't always easy.

I've mastered food shopping with two toddlers. This is no easy feat. The shopping carts in my neighborhood are only of the "fits one kid" variety. And my double wide stroller is challenging to fit through the aisles. Still, I have done it, packing my groceries in every crevice of the stroller, hoping I find it all when I get to checkout, and timing it just right so there isn't a meltdown in the ice cream aisle.

I'm an excellent singer whilst eating. Oh yes, la la la la laaaaa chew, chew, chew. It's my little trick, see, my kids hit a stall after about two bites of food, and I've found that a little song, maybe even a chair dance (of the G-rated variety) makes the food magically go down. Well, most times. If it doesn't work, at least the tunes keep me in a better mood and not make me so upset they didn't eat the lunch I painstakingly prepared. And will eat myself, cold, as not to waste it.

I've become an expert in squeezing in a shower. If I'm not showered by noon, I'm cranky. A cranky mommy can be worse than a cranky toddler. So I've figured out how to make it work. After we all enjoy our breakfast with a song and dance, we put on a little Elmo. Lucky for me, the bathroom is right off the living room, so Sesame Street goes on, and so does the water. The kids alternate what they find more exciting -- the suds in mommy's hair or Abby's Flying Fairy School. Everyone's happy and smells good. Mostly.

I've successfully potty trained ... myself. My kids like to go everywhere with me. If I tell them I have to go potty, my daughter says "Come with you." So she does. I don't know about you, but for me if my kids are screaming outside the bathroom door as I try to go number 2, number 2 just isn't happening. Constipated mommy isn't happy especially since I need that second cup of coffee around 3 p.m. when we are out for a walk. And constipated mommy is only a fraction of the unhappy she would be if she became "have to poo now" mommy while not near home and two toddlers in a stroller that won't fit into the Starbucks bathroom. So the porcelain throne has visitors and I'm totally zen even if my kids want to play with the toilet paper roll during that time. Luckily they have been starting to like sitting on their own potty and reading Victoria's Secret catalogs.

I'm learning, and surprising myself with my accomplishments! It's only been a month so I know I'll get better and better.

What feats of accomplishments have you mastered either as a SAHM or when you are home with your kids? Which one of mine can you most relate to?