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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

Suggestions?

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:18 AM
  • 10 Replies

Hello, I have been married for 17 years.. we have had our ups & downs, And at a point when things were going well, I went behind his back and spoke with an old boyfriend from college, felt horrible and confessed...Since then things have been worse and because of his hurt , he has treated me like crap..There has always been emotional abuse..unintentional or not, it is there.

We have 5 children, and my 2 older girls have been affected by his behavior, they see the way he is and the way he speaks to me/them... they really dont like him at this point..

Recently it has gotten so bad that I wanted him to leave..and I took the weeknd away to think..And have decided to try to work this out..He has good intentions but goes about dealing with situations the wrong way.. Not saying I do it right either.. I am inconsistant, and try to ignore problems when they arise..

But since we sat down as a family together and discussed  the fact that I asked him to leave... my girls want him gone..My oldest daughter who is 15 has threaten to run away, and says she is tired of her life this way, (she has been grounded for failing grades) I don't want to take this lightly nor do I want them to control or run over me.

I know I have made many mistakes and feel like a failure....





by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mysticalmalissa
by Gold Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 6:28 AM

All of this turmoil just because you spoke to an old boyfriend or is there more to the story?

Audreesmommy757
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:58 AM

 i personally dont think the kids should have been brought in to it..comming from a household where my parents shared everybit of info with their kids it does have an effect on them

Meltopia529
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:00 AM

 I agree...leave the children out of it.

Quoting AudreesmoImmy757:

 i personally dont think the kids should have been brought in to it..comming from a household where my parents shared everybit of info with their kids it does have an effect on them

 

DebBlan
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:21 AM
Yes there is more to it,years of emotional abuse..It doesn't affect the boys as much as girls.. We are emotional creatures :) But my questioning is about... I am so fearful of losing them... however it maybe.. Like if she did run away, my husband said he would call police and she would end up going to juvenile home..I would not allow that to happen! And god forbid if she was so depressed to want to end her life..I would die myself!! But I also can't let them "use" that to control me to do what they want.. Does that make sense..?
LuvingRN
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Maybe some family counseling along with marriage counseling for the two of you. You can't let your daughter use that as leverage, you are still the parent and just remember, we all thought we knew what was best at that age, Lol! Good luck.
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MiriRose923
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

This sounds like a very difficult situation, I'm sorry your family is dealing with all this.  We have all made mistakes, please don't consider yourself a failure!  

I work at Focus on the Family, and they offer some great information on their website about emotional abuse.   Also, they have counselors that will speak with you over the phone for free.  I hope you'll consider giving them a call.  I'm praying for healing for your family.  

sweetlyblissful
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:50 AM

I'm so sorry you are going through that.  It's not good for your children to be living in a negative environment.  I hope that you can find some way to fix it.

DebBlan
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 5:29 PM

Thank you all, I will look into that site MiriRose , I appreciate it!


MommaNuney
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 8:54 AM

 I think counseling would be a great step for all of you.

DebBlan
by on Apr. 21, 2012 at 12:21 AM

I did make an appointment  for counseling. for myself and one of my daughters.. We are taking one day at a time,.. it' is hard because I feel like middle man ... I come home from work I have to hear how mean dad was and how dis-respectful girls were..etc... We are trying to "make a new start" but girls aren't havin it.. fighting it, I do think older daughter is just teenage stuff,wanting more independance, but not wanting to show us she can follow the rules... but younger daughter more hurt by things that have been said.. so I am hoping the counseling will start the process of healing for both of us..

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