How old was your mom when she had you? What was your life like when you were that age?
When I became a mother, it changed the way I look at my own mom. Made our connection deeper. Made me want to know so much more about how she was as a parent in those days when I was just an infant. I also like to think about where she was in her life when she was at those milestone motherhood moments. And compare it to where I was or am in mine.
I was 37 when I had my twins, living in NYC -- in Brooklyn. When my mother was 37, I was 12 and my sister was 9. We lived in Queens. Despite the similar locations, our lives were so different when we were both that age. She was well into motherhood; and I was just learning. Learning from her. My mom was 25 when she became a mom. And 25 was quite a year for me as well.
I was going through a sense of uneasiness when I was 25. I felt unsettled, like I wasn't in the right place or doing the right things. I felt unaccomplished despite having just finished post-graduate studies at college. I didn't know what I wanted to be -- if I should go the safe route and become a teacher or the potentially unstable route of pursuing my writing career. It was around that time when I started doing some very deep thinking and had an awakening. I ended up moving back to NYC from the Hudson Valley. A move that eventually led me to my husband, the man who helped me become a mother.
At the same age I went through that, my mother, when she was 25, was adjusting to new motherhood. I'm sure there were times she felt uneasy, she was learning so much about herself, about me, her newborn. Perhaps the parallels were buried in our subconscious. Maybe something in the 25 year old me was channeling my 25 year old mother. She was embarking on a huge life change, as was I. She was something I knew I wanted to be someday -- a mother.
It's kind of poetic when you think about it.
I think I will do this every year -- reflecting, remembering, asking my mother questions and filling in the blanks. It makes me feel closer to her, teaches me things, gives me even more memories.
What about you? Do you ever reflect like this? How old was your mom when she had you? What was your life like when you were that age? What about now? Share your stories.