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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

Would you medicate your child?

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We have resently ran into this issue on this subject. We have always said we would never medicate a child, unless it is life saving. Yes, we have asthmatic and we give them the needed medication. Chronic medical diseases need to be medicated at times.  We have a daughter who has developed a behavioral disorder after she was molested by a family member many time. This person is currently in jail and awaiting a trial. She may have to testify at this trial. Our daughter is 6 yrs old and now has developed what they call aggressive behavior. I forget the mental health term for what she may have they still have to do a pychological work up on her. Now not medicating was a fine choice until recently. While I was at work, my SO took the children (5 of them) to the gym, on the way home our 6 yr old decided she was upset about something. She unbuckled started hitting the other 4 kids in the car, SO told her to get in her seat as he started to pull over. She then began to hit him and kick him while he was driving and trying to pull over. He then removed her from the car so she could not injure her younger siblings and she reaptedly tried to run into traffic. He finally had to hold her in her seat with one hand while driving home, from there he has to restrain her using technique showen to us by her therapists. We only restrain when she is a dnager to herself or the other children. He restrained her for over 2 hours while all the younger children had to wait on lunch. The doctors wants to medicate her because of this seriously dangerous outburst, which by the way she has no idea what or why she was so upset.  We are at a very cretical crossroads, FYI she has not done a full out outburst in 2 weeks, but she does this up and down often. We know she has PTSD we just dont know what triggers it. She has good days more often then bad day. Still has small tantrums a few times a week. She also always applogize when she calms down.

Her bio mom was a drug attict and has mult. mental health dx, she eneded up OD this May. The children did not see her really but I think our daughter still may have feeling she cant express over this.

Her half brother that lives with maternal grandmother has been dx with bi polar, ODD.

 

 

by on Jul. 27, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Replies (191-200):
kailu1835
by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 10:28 PM

 I may get bashed for this, but I wonder if the behavioral issues rose from being coddled after her ordeal, and not held to the same disciplinary standards as your other children.  I wonder if it might not be best to simply treat her as you would your other children, and expect her to behave.  As long as she has an outlet to be able to talk about her feelings, or even rage if necessary, then I don't think you should allow her to think she can get away with this stuff.  Just my opinion, though.

sandrab2k11
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 1:19 AM
I would at least try a homeopathic/natural remedy first before putting your child on medication. I personally went through a real deep depression and it was so bad that I would have uncontrollable mood swings. One minute I was fine the next minute i was crying uncontrollably for no reason or I was very angry & taking it out on my husband, children, & other family members. It got so bad to the point where other family members like my sister stop coming over cause she couldn't handle seeing me like that. My mother had to take over & take care of my children while my husband was at work cause I stayed in bed & slept all the time & I was literally afraid to be around my family cause I couldn't control my emotions. It was a very hard time & it went on for a few months & my family was very concerned & wanted me to go to the doctor. But I refused cause i knew they would just fill me with medications or use me as a guinea pig and try other medications on me and I really didn't want to do that. So I told them to give a little time & I would research online & find a more natural way to heal my mental anguish. I did end up finding a whole food organic store that carried natural supplements and had nutritionists. I ended up speaking with one and let her know of my depression and how it was affecting our lives in a horrible way. She suggested some supplements that would help provide my body with what it was lacking and causing me to act uncontrollably like that. We don't realize that when our bodies are deprived of certain nutrients that are needed even in children our bodies become weak and begins to react in a negative way. Then when a person or child goes thru a stressful or traumatic moment they are incapable of coping because their body is weak and it begins to take a toll and with time they become uncontrollable and incapable of controlling their emotions because of the imbalance in their body. If it continues on eventually the immune system will become very weak and the child can become ill and that can be serious. After I started the homeopathic remedy and gave my body what it needed I immediately began to feel a difference after about a week. I felt better and had control again over my emotions & the outbursts were less it was really great and as I continued in time the depression and mood swings were totally gone & I was back to normal & very happy. Since this was so life changing for us homeopathic remedies are now a large part of our lives. I hope this helps and please inform yourselves speak to a nutritionist they can be very helpful and informative trust me there is so much we don't know.
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Megzboys
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 2:31 AM

  That is a very tough decision to make and she most definitely needs therapy and might need some meds.   Mental illnesses can and often are passed down but remain dormant until some kind of emotional trauma brings it to the surface like the Bi-Polar Disorder.   She would definitely need meds for the Disorder but they need to be checked carefully so they do not cause more harm considering that she could have drugs in her system from whatever her bio mom took if that happened during her pregnancy.   Meet with a few different doctors who specialize in pediatric care so she gets the best help possible.  Wish you all the best and just keep giving her the love and comforting that she needs to cope with what that family member did to her.   :(.     

  I know about the Bi-Polar because my cousin's son suffers from it.   

I love my boys

  boy kissing mom                                        

                                                    

                             


Megzboys
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 2:36 AM


Quoting sandrab2k11:

I would at least try a homeopathic/natural remedy first before putting your child on medication. I personally went through a real deep depression and it was so bad that I would have uncontrollable mood swings. One minute I was fine the next minute i was crying uncontrollably for no reason or I was very angry & taking it out on my husband, children, & other family members. It got so bad to the point where other family members like my sister stop coming over cause she couldn't handle seeing me like that. My mother had to take over & take care of my children while my husband was at work cause I stayed in bed & slept all the time & I was literally afraid to be around my family cause I couldn't control my emotions. It was a very hard time & it went on for a few months & my family was very concerned & wanted me to go to the doctor. But I refused cause i knew they would just fill me with medications or use me as a guinea pig and try other medications on me and I really didn't want to do that. So I told them to give a little time & I would research online & find a more natural way to heal my mental anguish. I did end up finding a whole food organic store that carried natural supplements and had nutritionists. I ended up speaking with one and let her know of my depression and how it was affecting our lives in a horrible way. She suggested some supplements that would help provide my body with what it was lacking and causing me to act uncontrollably like that. We don't realize that when our bodies are deprived of certain nutrients that are needed even in children our bodies become weak and begins to react in a negative way. Then when a person or child goes thru a stressful or traumatic moment they are incapable of coping because their body is weak and it begins to take a toll and with time they become uncontrollable and incapable of controlling their emotions because of the imbalance in their body. If it continues on eventually the immune system will become very weak and the child can become ill and that can be serious. After I started the homeopathic remedy and gave my body what it needed I immediately began to feel a difference after about a week. I felt better and had control again over my emotions & the outbursts were less it was really great and as I continued in time the depression and mood swings were totally gone & I was back to normal & very happy. Since this was so life changing for us homeopathic remedies are now a large part of our lives. I hope this helps and please inform yourselves speak to a nutritionist they can be very helpful and informative trust me there is so much we don't know.

  Definitely agree with meeting with a nutritionist before the other meds.  

I love my boys

  boy kissing mom                                        

                                                    

                             


Megzboys
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 2:41 AM


Quoting kailu1835:

 I may get bashed for this, but I wonder if the behavioral issues rose from being coddled after her ordeal, and not held to the same disciplinary standards as your other children.  I wonder if it might not be best to simply treat her as you would your other children, and expect her to behave.  As long as she has an outlet to be able to talk about her feelings, or even rage if necessary, then I don't think you should allow her to think she can get away with this stuff.  Just my opinion, though.

   That idea would work if all they were dealing with was a child from a broken home but there is some serious sexual abuse from a family member and that is not something this woman's other children had to deal with.    This child needs special therapy to cope with that.   Once they get her into a more stable routine then sure this would be needed as well.   No you shouldn't be bashed for that opinion.

I love my boys

  boy kissing mom                                        

                                                    

                             


sseeley21
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I did not read through all the posts, but I feel like I need to comment, bash me if you wish, but the way I feel about it is, would you not medicate your child because they had a heart disorder??  of course you wouldn't!  Whatever your child has, is a chemical imbalance in the brain!  It is not something she has done wrong, it is not something she can help, medicating is not a "band aid".  Of course, you don't want to put her on some medication that is going to affect her in a negative way, however, doing nothing is worse, imo, than starting on the road to recovery.  I am so sorry for what your child has gone through, no amount of medication is going to make that better.  I am speaking as a person who deals with Mental illness everyday.  My husband has bi polar, and while it is not my son, if my son should ever develop those manic symptoms, I absoultely would take the means necessary to keep him happy and healthy. And since your child comes from a background of mental illness in the family, there is a fair chance she will have those problems herself.   Obviously, your child should still continue with therapy, but since that is obviously not enough alone, you may have to take that next step to medicate.  Especially since you stated yourself, she is a danger to herself and others...this is jmo, but it really bugs me when people think mental illness isn't a "real issue".  It is absoultely a real issue, and it is an issue that needs to be dealt with NOW, not when it's too late.  (i.e your daughter has succeeded in hurting someone else!)  Good luck and I will be thinking of you in this time of need...I hope everything works out for you and your family. 

momofkandb
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 12:13 PM

Medicating your child is an extremely personal decision.  You and your child are the ones who have to live by the decision and the benefits/consequences.  Which is more important for your family and child?  Also know that it is illegal for a school to tell you that your child must be tested and medicated.  They can be held financially responsible for that.  

Good luck.  We decided against medication.

madhousequeen
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 12:15 PM

I have to say that I think it would be irresponsible of you NOT to give her every possible tool to be able to deal with this. It's a horrible situation and she needs a lot of help to get through it. Thinking that you can solve it with a few supplements and therapy is pretty naive.

If the medication makes her a "zombie", then that's not the right medicine or dosage for her. When she is on the right medicine, she will be herself again. That's what medication is for.

Your daughter deserves the opportunity to heal from this and medication will give her that chance. I tried the no medicine approach too but I know now that sometimes our brains need help and we have to give it to them.

momofkandb
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 12:16 PM

I would have to look at the side effects before I medicated my child.  Most childhood diagnoses with medication do not really have medication for their age.   They are using adult medication modified for themselves and there are very negative side effects for later in life (depression, suicide, etc). So, no I would not medicate for this.  Especially if there are other forms of therapy (couseling, diet).

kailu1835
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 12:52 PM

 I think that if it is a behavioral problem stemming from treating the one child differently, that will harm all of the children as well.  I think that therapy is an excellent choice for the whole family, so that they can deal with the issue, but at home, disciplinary standards should be equal across the board, or the other kids will begin to resent the one that was abused, because she gets special treatment, and none of the same rules apply.  I've seen it before with a special needs kid who was very coddled because of his special needs, and he took huge advantage of it, and the siblings ended up hating him.  Definitely not good for the family.  I don't see this as being any different (if it is a disciplinary issue).  She has special needs because of what she had to go through at such a young age.  Take care of those needs, while maintaining the structure of the family unit.  That's my thought.

Quoting Megzboys:

 

Quoting kailu1835:

 I may get bashed for this, but I wonder if the behavioral issues rose from being coddled after her ordeal, and not held to the same disciplinary standards as your other children.  I wonder if it might not be best to simply treat her as you would your other children, and expect her to behave.  As long as she has an outlet to be able to talk about her feelings, or even rage if necessary, then I don't think you should allow her to think she can get away with this stuff.  Just my opinion, though.

   That idea would work if all they were dealing with was a child from a broken home but there is some serious sexual abuse from a family member and that is not something this woman's other children had to deal with.    This child needs special therapy to cope with that.   Once they get her into a more stable routine then sure this would be needed as well.   No you shouldn't be bashed for that opinion.

 

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